Sonic Zeroes!
by C-Money17
Summary: Join Sonic and Co. as they go on crazy adventures. Rated M for language. Chapter 23 up!
1. Sonic's Hell Day, Part I

**My first Sonic fic, and first fic in general.**

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic.**

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Alarm clock. 

Damn that alarm clock to hell.

Sonic rolled over in bed and slammed on the snooze button with all the power he could muster that morning, which was none. He stared at the bright red digital numbers on the clock face.

Now Sonic was pissed, and it's unhealthy for one blue hedgehog to be on the verge of killing somebody first thing on the morning.

The clock read seven o'clock on the dot. Hell no. Ain't no way _Sonic the Hedgehog _was wakin' up at seven in the morning for nothing. He rolled back over into his original position and tried to go back to sleep, but alas, he could not. For today proved itself to be, as Sonic dubbed it, a "Hell Day".

Tails' voice rang from downstairs. "Sonic! Come and get breakfast! I made _waffles_!"

Sonic lay there. Waffles. Waffles? ...Waffles. He didn't really like waffles. Pancakes were the only way to go. Sonic knew that, Tails knew that, but yet Tails still opted to make waffles. The alarm rang in Sonic's ear again, so he finally got up, got entangled in the covers, and went down hard. It took all of his will power to keep from unleashing a string of profanities all through the house.

"Hell Day" was laughing and pointing.

After splashing some water on his face and sharpening his trademark blue quills to the point of ridiculousness, Sonic went downstairs into the kitchen to find, of course, that half of the waffles were already gone. Before Tails could even say anything, Sonic had already gotten started.

"One: where are the waffles? Two: who ate _half_ of said waffles? And C: why did you make waffles when you know I despise them so?"

In answering all three of Sonic's questions, Tails pointed to another figure sitting at the kitchen table. Sonic shook his head in dismay. "Of course..."

Shadow sat at the table, staring at him. "What's up, faker? Don't you like the waffles _I_ got Tails to make?"

Sonic glared at Shadow. "You son of a bastard..."

Shadow suddenly stood up, appalled. "_Stupid,_ am I?"

"You heard me."

"Um, guys?" Tails started.

"Stay out of this, Tails," Sonic said, getting into a fighting stance. "It's about to be Fight Club up in here."

Shadow pulled out his Chaos Emerald. "You die now."

Tails suddenly came between the black and blue hedgehogs, snatching the chaos emerald out of Shadow's hand and about three butter knives out of Sonic's hand. "Now I want you two to apologize to each other and you better _mean _it!"

Sonic and Shadow exchanged apologetic faces.

"Burn in hell!"

"Suck my ass!"

"There, that's better," Tails said. "Are we all friends now?"

"No," Sonic and Shadow said in unison.

They argued back and forth for about fifteen more minutes, then the doorbell rang. This could only mean that Sonic's Hell Day would continue. He stopped trying to stab Shadow long enough to answer the door. _So help me God, if this is Knuckles coming over here with his bullshit so early in the morning, I'll turn super right now,_ Sonic thought bitterly. No, it was much worse. Much, _much_ worse.

Sonic opened the door slowly. He saw the red boots first, followed by the blindingly, oh so blindingly pink fur. Terror gripped Sonic's heart. The red dress made his eyes widen. Then he saw her face. Her shrill voice was like that of fingernails going down a chalkboard. Sonic was going to cry.

Amy Rose spoke. "Hi, Son-"

_SLAM!_

The door slammed shut as Sonic locked both the top and bottom locks and ran screaming into the kitchen. Tails and Shadow were still sitting at the table.

"Tails!" Sonic yelled. "Code Pink! _Code Pink! _She's here! Get the magnum!"

Tails nearly fell out of his chair. "W-Who here? Eggman?"

"Eggman!" Shadow growled."He must have found out where we lived!"

Sonic was now in hysterics. "Fools! She's here! R-Rose! Pink! _Pink, damn you!_"

Tails calmed down. He and Shadow didn't have to worry about anything. "It's just Amy. Nothing to freak out over."

"That pink, loud one?" Shadow said calmly, then glared at Sonic. "I thought maybe Eggman had found us."

Sonic, ignoring Shadow, yelled over to Tails. "Tails! Guns! _Now!_"

"In the closet," Tails replied.

Sonic zoomed back out to the closet in the living room and tore open the door. Guns and ammo specially designed by Tails lined the closet. Sonic pulled out a pistol, then harshly tossed it aside. Tails and Shadow came into the living room just in time to see Sonic tossing the small gun to the floor.

"Sonic, that gun should be enough." Tails said.

"Are you _nuts_?" Sonic screamed. "Do you lack basic education? I'm gonna need something in the general area of an assault rifle with silver bullets!" Sonic then found and pulled out the mother of all guns. It was a huge chain gun with a thick string of bullets coming down either side of the weapon, complete with the Tails emblem on the top.

Suddenly, the window across from the closet opened and Amy dived in. "My dear, sweet, Sonikku! Why did you lock me out?"

Sonic, with gun in hand, turned around towards Amy.

"Sonic! You're not gonna...!" Tails started.

Shadow meanwhile, was back in the kitchen trying to finish off the rest of the waffles before the others got finished.

"Move out of the way, Tails!" Sonic yelled, pointing the gun at Amy.

"But Sonikku, I _love _you!" Amy exclaimed.

Sonic, somewhat affected by Amy words, lowered his gun.

Tails breathed a sigh of relief.

Shadow put some more syrup on his waffles.

Amy spoke again. "I love-"

"_Die, pink devil!_" Sonic screeched. He set the gun to "Full Auto" and fired.

Tails dove behind the couch as bullets flew. Sonic let out a kamikaze type yell the whole time he fired. He fired until the bullets ran out, loaded another clip of bullets, and continued firing.

The whole left wall of the house was riddled with bullet holes. Smoke and dust were everywhere. Tails poked his out from behind the couch. "My...my wall...," he uttered.

Sonic dropped the gun to the floor and did one of his winning poses from his games while the level completion music blared from some unknown location. The smoke cleared from the wall and he suddenly stopped. Did "Hell Day" have it out for him? The answer to that question was yes. Sonic had wasted two full clips of bullets into Amy's general direction. She had nowhere to run, no time to dodge. Yet, there she stood, unscathed. No gunshot wound, no head concussion. Nothing.

"Sonic!" Amy squealed as she rushed over and hugged him.

Sonic's eyes bugged out of their sockets. "Tails! Shadow! Code Red! She's touching me! She's touching the _quills_! Someone shoot her! For the love of God, someone _shoot her_!"

Amy squeezed harder.

That day, that "Hell Day" is when Sonic broke down crying. Why was he cursed so? He never did anything wrong, except for that little incident in Mexico. He was a good guy.

Shadow, not caring one bit about Sonic's problems or the demolished wall, came out of the kitchen. "Tails! We need more waffles!"

"Oh, goody," Amy squealed again. "I have to go to the store, too. We can all go together!"

Sonic tossed his head back and screamed. "_Noooooooooooooooooo..._"

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**Will "Hell Day" be the end of our favorite hero? Will he ever,_ ever_, be able to escape the "Rose Devil"? Will Shadow ever get more waffles? Find out next time!**


	2. Sonic's Hell Day, Part II

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic.****

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**

"Where are my _waffles_?" Shadow demanded.

Tails paid no attention to Shadow, but looked on to the now destroyed section of his house. Pieces of debris were still falling down and a couple of pipes were sticking out. Tails knew, that before this day was over, he was going to put someone in the hospital. He then turned his attention to the scene in the middle of the room. Amy clung to Sonic. Sonic was still crying, making pathetic attempts to reach the recently used chain gun that was on the floor.

"You guys must _want _me to use Chaos Control up in here, don't you?" Shadow said, whipping out his Chaos Emerald. "_I...need...waffles...now!_"

Amy suddenly snapped to attention. "Are you guys ready to go to the store?"

"Here," Tails said as he tossed a coin to Amy. "Flip this."

Amy studied the coin. "What for?"

"So I can know whose _ass_ to kick when we get back from the store!" Tails yelled, pointing to his wall.

Amy suddenly released Sonic, who promptly dove for the gun. "Aww, we're sorry Tails. Sometimes my Sonikku can't control himself over me."

Repeated clicking sounds were heard, and they all turned to Sonic, who had the gun pointed at Amy with his finger on the trigger. "Tails!" he cried. "Man down! _Man down!_ The silver bullets didn't work! Call James Bond and get the Golden Gun!"

Tails stared for a moment, then headed for the door. "Let's go."

ooo

They arrived at the store only a few moments later, with Sonic and Shadow running, and a flying Tails carrying Amy. As soon as they were inside, Tails took command. "All right. We're just here to get the waffles, so I want everybody to stick tog-"

"Get the fuck away from me, _Satan!_"

Tails turned to see Amy chasing Sonic down aisle seven. Sonic was throwing random stuff off of the shelves in hopes of tripping Amy up and hopefully, breaking her neck while doing so. Tails turned the other way just in time to see Shadow, shoes in full-skate mode, going full speed to the freezer aisle, knocking people down and hurtling shopping carts in the process. Tails continued to watch as Shadow attempted to make a hard left into another aisle, but clipped one of the shelves and went sliding into a wall cussing all the way. That particular store shelf met with the power of Chaos Control, as half of it disappeared in a green flash of light. Shadow tore around the corner and another crash was heard, followed by another flash of green light. All this had happened the first fifteen seconds they had been in the store. Tails sighed. "Why? _Why _do I look up to them?"

Sonic, meanwhile, had pulled off an excellent diversion of leading Amy down the hair products aisle. She had stopped, caught a shopping basket that Sonic had rolled at her from halfway down the aisle in an attempt to knock her down, and started loading up on various shampoos and conditioners. Sonic, pissed that his ingenious shopping cart plan didn't work, fled down another aisle until something caught his eye. There it was, in all its glory. He had stumbled upon the mother lode of pancake mix. Sonic's hands instantly shot out to collect the boxed heavens. This would show that damn Shadow. Pah! Waffles were for _bitches_! Heaven didn't stop there, for Sonic's eyes swept over to many bottles of syrup. He took about three bottles, dropped to his knees, and stared up at the ceiling, pure awe plastered on his face. "Oh, Aunt Jemima! Mrs. Butterworth! Do you know no _limits_?"

A store employee groaned as he carried a stack of assorted frozen foods to the freezer aisle and set them down, preparing to put them in their proper places. He had just gotten started when someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Human! I request your assistance!" The employee turned around to face Shadow, who held up a box.

"What is this?" he demanded.

The employee, clearly scared of the black hedgehog who had once set the whole world in danger, didn't reply.

"_What is this?_" Shadow repeated, louder this time.

"T-Those are the waffles, s-sir," the worker stammered.

"Yes, but what kind?" Shadow asked, as if quizzing the poor soul.

"E-Eggos, sir."

"Eggos, I see. It says here that they are chocolate chip. Intriguing."

"Y-Yes, sir. Eggos are the best waffles we have."

"The best?"

"Yes, sir."

Shadow then prepared to ask the most important question: "Would you say these are...the _ultimate _waffles?"

"I-I don't know, sir."

Shadow glared at him. "You don't know?" He pulled out his Chaos Emerald. "Well perhaps your memory will come back to you when you're _standing on the surface of the sun!_"

"Ahhh! No, wait!" The man yelped. "They're the ultimate waffles! They're just right for you!"

Shadow put the emerald away. "That's right, because the _ultimate life form _demands no less!"

"Y-Yes sir!"

"I will buy these _ultimate _waffles. And if I find out that these are not the _ultimate_ waffles, I _will_ come back here and you _will_ be the sun's new best friend. Now," Shadow whisked his hand at the terrified worker as if shoo-ing him away. "Step. Leave me."

The guy ran off screaming.

About fifteen minutes later, the group, sans Shadow, met back at the front of the store. Tails was amazed at how much stuff everybody had gotten. He himself had only gotten a big-ass can of Folgers coffee mix, because he knew that he was going to be up all night fixing the wall. Amy wanted to pay for her things seperately, so she went to the cash register first. After that, Sonic and Tails went next. Tails set down his coffee, followed by Sonic, who set down three boxes of pancake mix, two bottles of syrup, a frozen spaghetti dinner, and rat poison.

Tails stared at Sonic. "Sonic, we don't have rats."

"I know," Sonic grinned.

Amy noticed the spaghetti dinner on the little conveyor. "Oh, Sonic! You got my favorite dinner!"

Sonic forced a smile. "Sure, Amy. _Anything_ for you." Sonic whispered over to the cashier. "Do me a favor and bag the spaghetti and the rat poison together for me, will ya?"

That was when Shadow finally showed up and slammed down two boxes of economy sized chocolate chip waffles. "We will eat breakfast like _kings_ for the rest of the month!" he announced.

Tails gaped at him. "Good lord! Do we really need all those!"

Shadow pointed at himself, then at Tails. "Yes, _you and I_ do, Tails. Not that faker over there."

Sonic whipped out a pancake box and pulled Tails over by his side. "_My_ little buddy and_ I_," he held the box next his face and held it like it was on display. "...Will be eating pancakes for breakfast, you ass-master! We don't want none of your nasty ass waffles! Isn't that right, Tails?"

"Actually, I don't like either. I like cereal," Tails replied.

Sonic and Shadow gaped at him as Amy came to hug Tails. "Hah!" she laughed. "_Tails _and _I_ like cereal! Let's go!" After grabbing their things, Amy and Tails walked out of the store.

Sonic stared at his buddy in disbelief. "...Ain't that a bitch?"

ooo

Back at the house, after much nagging, Tails finally got Sonic and Shadow to fix the wall. Amy went back to her apartment to put her groceries away. This made Sonic extremely happy. Maybe "Hell Day" was over for him. Shadow, however, was unhappy.

"Why do I have to help?" he complained. "I didn't wreck this damn wall! There's _waffles_ to be eaten!"

"Cuz' you live here. In _my_ house, Shadow. That's why."

Shadow grinned and raised and eyebrow. "_Your _house? Isn't that something? Sonic told me that this was _his_ house!"

"_Pah!"_ Tails scoffed. "This is _my _house. _I_ run things up around here. I built this bastard with my own two hands."

Shadow threw his hands in the air. "The famous Sonic the Hedgehog depends on an eight-year old-"

"I'm twelve," Tails interrupted.

"A _twelve_-year old boy," Shadow continued. "...to take care of him. You're such a pussy, Sonic."

"Oh, yeah?" Sonic shot back. "What about _you?_"

"I'm here for the waffles."

Sonic glared. "Slut cake!"

Shadow grabbed a nearby hammer. "Ass bandit!"

Tails sighed as the phone rang. Sonic and Shadow continued to argue as he picked up the phone. Tails spoke as he watched Shadow lunge at Sonic with the hammer, only to have Sonic counter with a pair of pliers, which he latched onto Shadow's nose. "Say uncle, bitch!" Sonic was saying. Shadow managed to get a hit in, knocking Sonic back, but taking Shadow with him. He had just pulled out his Chaos Emerald when Tails hung up the phone.

"Hey, guys! That was Knuckles."

Sonic kicked Shadow off of him and got up. "What did he say?"

"He's coming over. He has this new rap CD he wants us to listen to."

Sonic's eye twitched. He couldn't stand rap music. Not the ones Knuckles listened to, anyway. No, it couldn't be coming back already, could it? The phone rang again, and Tails picked it up. "Hello? Yeah. Yeah. ...okay." He hung up.

"Now...who was that?" Sonic asked, a sinking feeling in his gut.

"That was Amy. She's coming back over."

Yes. It was coming back. Sonic had enjoyed his time, but it was coming back.

"Hell Day" was back with a vengence.

Sonic dropped to his knees and stared up at the ceiling. "No, why?"

"Tails, quick!" Shadow said excitedly. "Get the video camera! I think he's going to cry again."

Tails shook his head in shame. "I need to get new friends."

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**How was that? I promise the other characters will be in the next chapter! **


	3. Sonic's Hell Day, Part III

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic. Sega _still _owns them.**

**I also do not, I repeat, _do not _own Eggo's _ultimate_ waffles. Those have been claimed by Shadow. Thank you.

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**

Tails wiped the sweat from his brow as he continued to repair his wall, with help from only Shadow. Sonic, however, had said that he would watch for Amy and Knuckles when they came over. Tails had thought it weird that Sonic suddenly had a burst of friendliness within him. Shadow, as always, was getting pissed.

"Will you tell that faker to get his _ass_ down here so we can fix this wall?" he demanded.

Tails shook his head. "He said that he wanted to watch for Amy and Knuckles for some strange reason..."

Further down the mountain from Tails' house, a train had screeched to a halt. This was indeed the train that took tourists to and from the Mystic Ruins. The double doors opened and Amy stepped out. Disregarding the fact that she had seen her sweet, sweet Sonikku only twenty minutes ago, she was extremely giddy. She made her way up the mountain trail.

The pink devil was upon him...

Amy continued to walk until something hit the ground beside her foot. She looked around. "What was that?" Nothing. Amy took another few steps and the ground just slightly beside her was hit again, twice this time. Tiny clouds of dust rose up from where the ground was struck. "It must be the squirrels around here. They're so cute!" Something buzzed lightly past her ear. "Geez, there are bees out here, too? Ooh! A quarter!" Amy bent down to pick up the coin just as a bunch of "bees" skimmed the top of her head. "I hope I don't get stung..."

No...please God no...

Laid down on the roof of the house, Sonic struggled to hold back tears of frustration as he loaded a fresh clip into his T-48 Sniper Rifle. He gritted his teeth. "Damn it! Why can't you just _die_?" He fired off a dozen more shots, which Amy dodged with the purest of luck, be it something on the ground, something in the sky, anything that got her to move to avoid a head shot.

Amy made it to the front door, and got in.

Sonic's body went limp. He was traumatized. How could one girl manage to turn one's life into complete hell? She somehow managed to dodge every single one of his shots. Amy had the luck of the flawless. Someone up in the heavens hated Sonic. Was he destined to be stalked by Amy for the rest of his life? Was he destined to become "Hell Day's" bitch? Then, suddenly, it hit him. The word played across his mind in gold. Sonic the Hedgehog regained his composure. A sadistic grin crossed his face.

The spaghetti.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sonic spotted something flying in the far distance coming toward him slowly. It had to be Knuckles. Sonic groaned. He had almost forgotten about Knuckles and his new CD. He had no idea why Knuckles loved hip-hop so much, or why he liked to torture his friends by making them listen to it. Sonic was pretty sure that Knuckles was grinning like an ass, as always when he got new music.He stared at the minuscule figure and then looked at the sniper rifle on the ground. "Well...as long as I'm up here..."

Knuckles had, in fact, a big Kool-Aid smile plastered on his face as he carried his new CD carefully in both hands. His red dreadlocks blew gently in the wind as he glided towards Tails' house. He also had his old _Sonic Adventure 2_ shades fixated on the top of his head, which he thought only added to his already high state of bad-assery. Then, something buzzed past his head. "What the hell?"

Knuckles frowned as he looked behind him. About a dozen more bullets flew past him as he attempted to dodge. "Gah! What the hell are these things?" He was just over the tallest mountain in the Mystic Ruins when a bullet struck one of his...dreads.

Knuckles screamed. "My dreads! They're the source of my power! Without them I'm _nothing!_"

Sonic watched with mild enjoyment as Knuckles spiraled out of control onto the mountainside and started rolling down a hill. Knuckles let out a girlish scream as he made pathetic attempts to jump up in mid-roll and continue gliding. He was nearly at the bottom of the hill when he finally managed to glide...right into the side of the still stationary train. Knuckles fell to the ground as his CD clattered down next to him, unscathed. His eyes widened as the CD was then shot repeatedly, leaving it broken. Knuckles looked up towards Tails' house in the distance just in time to see a blue spiky figure dash inside. His face contorted in anger. "Aw, that mother..."

Inside the house, Tails and Shadow were still working on the wall, while Amy sat watching T.V. Sonic, not for one minute wanting to be in the same room as Amy, was in the kitchen taking out the spaghetti. He had laid the rifle on the kitchen table, just in case. He glared at Amy in the other room. Sonic put the spaghetti in the oven. All he had to do was just wait for it to heat up, apply the special "parmesan cheese", then Amy would be down. _Dead_ down. He smiled.

The doorbell rang just as Sonic came out the kitchen, fully ready to club Amy with the gun if she so much as looked at him. He cautiously crossed the room keeping his eyes on Amy and opened the door in a casual fashion. "Hey, Knuckles."

Knuckles stood in the doorway, clutching a CD case full of bullet holes. "You son of a bitch! You son of bitch-bastard!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tails said, getting up and walking over to Sonic, who was grinning. "What'd Sonic do to you _now_, Knuckles?"

Knuckles, now missing one of his dreadlocks, pointed angrily to Sonic. "This motherfucker shot me down!"

Sonic chuckled. "Sorry, Knux. I thought you were one of Eggman's robots."

"Don't give me that bullshit! You knew it was me! You _knew_ it was me! You did that on purpose!"

Tails sighed. "Sonic, why do you _insist_ on shooting at everybody that comes over here?"

Knuckles calmed down a bit. "I should kick your ass right now Sonic, but luckily I have a backup." He pulled out another brand new CD.

Sonic snatched the CD out of Knuckles' hand, dropped it on the floor, and shot it twice with the rifle. "No, you don't."

Knuckles stared quietly at the CD on the floor, then looked back up at Sonic. "You know what, Sonic? I don't know when, but I'm going to fuck you up one of these days. Just _really _fuck you up. Mark my words."

"Please, Knuckles," Sonic ran a hand through his quills. "I can kick your ass. _Tails_ can kick your ass."

Knuckles looked at Sonic as though he were crazy. "You _never_ kicked my ass. Neither did Tails."

Sonic smirked. "Oh, is that so? Everybody listen up. Let us flash back to the day of the Hidden Palace Zone. You know about the Hidden Palace Zone don't you , Knuckles?"

Knuckles remembered. All those years ago. That had been the day that he had first met Sonic and Tails. "You guys didn't beat me. You sucked ass back then and you knew it."

_After clearing the Lava Reef Zone, Sonic and Tails rushed into the Hidden Palace, only to be confronted by Knuckles._

_"You're that hedgehog and that fox I saw earlier on Angel Island. You fools think you can get past me?"_

_Sonic sneered. "Hell yeah! Tails! Sic'em!"_

_Tails jumped forward. "Right, Sonic!"_

_Knuckles put up his fists. "You don't know what you're getting yourselves into. Take this!" He jumped up and slowly, ever so slowly, glided at them._

_Tails sweat dropped. "Umm..."_

_Knuckles cackled. "Fools! You cannot hope to stand up to my pow--"_

_Tails rushed forward and kicked Knuckles in the jaw, knocking him out._

_Sonic smiled. "Nice job, Tails."_

_"Sonic...you think he'll be okay?"_

_"Meh. Don't worry about it. We'll never see HIM again."_

"And _that_, my friends," Sonic said. "...Is how Tails and I met." He crossed his arms in satisfaction.

Knuckles tossed his hands up in frustration. "_You see_? He can't even tell a story properly! Why do you people look _up_ to him?"

Tails looked down shamefully at the floor. "I'm honestly beginning to wonder..."

"Well," Shadow said, laying on the floor. "It sounds like you guys had some pretty gay-ass adventures. And may I add that I beat Sonic's ass three or four times. In _one _game?"

Sonic turned around to face him. "First of all, I was already at a severe disadvantage because I had to wear those big ass SOAP shoes. Secondly, you wouldn't be shit if it wasn't for that Chaos Emerald."

_Ding!_

Sonic's eyes widened with delight. The spaghetti was done. He smiled at Amy the best he could without firing the rifle he still held onto. "Amy, your dinner is done."

Amy jumped up off the couch and rushed over to Sonic. "You cooked it already?"

Sonic, having Amy this close to him, pulled the trigger. Of course, the clip was empty. This time was going to be it. Sonic could feel it. He would best "Hell Day" this time. Nothing was going to stop Amy from eating that spaghetti.

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**I apologize in advance if this chapter was a little boring. Writer's block was kicking my ass.**

**I'll try my best to make the next chapter better. **


	4. Hell Day's FINALE!

**Disclaimer:** **I still do not own Sonic the Hedgehog. ****

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**

Sonic's eyes glistened as he pulled the spaghetti out of the oven. This would be it. This _had_ to be it. There was no way in hell that Amy could avoid this. Sonic looked back to the den where the others where now watching T.V. Amy looked back at him and waved. Sonic cringed as he immediately turned and broke out the rat poison. He put enough of it on the spaghetti to take out an elephant, but not too much to draw attention to it. Sonic stood back and savored the moment as he stared at his perfect plan. From this day forward, he would be free. Sonic the Hedgehog would be free.

Tails looked up from his position on the floor as Sonic strode slowly into the room carrying a plate of spaghetti.

Knuckles was putting on his shovel claws, ready to kick Sonic's ass for the rifle incident, when he looked at he noticed his face. He looked deadly serious.

Shadow stared at Sonic in confusion as he waited intently for an explanation of not having waffles on that plate.

Amy gazed at Sonic longingly as he handed her the plate.

Sonic kept a surprisingly straight face as he looked bravely into the eyes of Lucifer's daughter herself. "I made this for you."

Our favorite blue hedgehog waited with bated breath as he watched Amy glide a fork full of food to her mouth. Sonic was about to make the greatest accomplishment in the history of mankind. But he must have forgotten what day it was. "Hell Day", yet again, had decided to intervene.

A brown wrecking ball suddenly crashed through the front of the house. Knuckles, being closest to the door, nearly got hit by the giant sphere. Shadow quickly grabbed Tails and used Chaos Control to warp out of the house. Sonic watched in horror as the plate of spaghetti was knocked out of Amy's hands and clattered to the floor.

The wrecking ball slid out of the house as Amy pulled out her Piko-Piko Hammer and stormed through the gaping hole that was now present. Sonic was ruined. He had tried everything he could think of. The spaghetti was the best plan he had. It was then that Sonic finally noticed the huge hole in the front of the house. Whoever did this was going to pay. He should have been happily throwing Amy's body over the cliff and into the ocean by now.

Sonic made his way outside to find the group staring at something floating in the sky. He instantly recognized the Egg Mobile. Attached to the bottom was the wrecking ball connected to a huge, white chain. Sonic groaned. Who did Eggman think he was fooling? He'd used the ball-and-chain gig the first time they fought against each other all those years ago. Sonic had beaten him easily, despite the fact that he was, like, ten years old. Now it was six years later. Eggman should've been ashamed of himself for attacking Sonic and the others with that broke down piece of shit.

Shadow stared up at the machine, Chaos Emerald in hand. "How did Eggman find us?"

Tails, now uber-pissed at the damage done to his house, shook his head. "He probably tailed Knuckles' slow ass."

"I probably would have had time to check if bastard-face hadn't fired on me," Knuckles replied, glaring at Sonic.

Sonic, paying no heed to Knuckles, shouted up to the hovercraft. "Eggman! Get your fat-ass down here so I can put my foot up in it!"

The Egg Mobile immediately floated down to ground level and, to everyone's surprise, Metal Sonic appeared and trained glowing red eyes on Sonic. "Did you just call me gay?"

A bewildered Sonic looked back him. "Metal? What the hell are you doing here? Where's Eggman?"

Metal concentrated hard on Sonic for a moment, then answered. "For your information, I stole this puppy from Eggman. Just in case you fools forgot, I don't take orders from that fat bastard." He then bent down in the craft and came back up with a big can of something and actually drank from it.

Tails noticed the label on the can read WD-40 in big, yellow letters.

Metal put the can back down and nearly lost his balance as the hovercraft jolted and starting floating backwards at a low speed. "Shit!" he muttered, as he found a lever on the control panel labeled "parking brake" and pulled it. Sonic and the others watched the scene in bafflement. Metal could barely keep the vehicle under control. When he regained his composure, Metal smiled and cackled. "Now, you wuss-cakes are _mine_!" Sonic, Shadow, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy all got into their battle stances.

The hovercraft emitted a loud humming noise as Metal prepared to charge, but didn't move. He had forgotten to release the parking brake. "_Son of an ass_!" he shouted.

Shadow frowned. He put his Chaos Emerald away.

After releasing the parking brake, Metal was ready to attack. "Now you _die_!" Then he remembered something. He had lowered the Egg Mobile to talk to Sonic, which meant that he was floating only a couple feet from the ground. He looked back. The wrecking ball lay harmless on the ground.

Metal clenched his teeth. "_Fucking whore_!"

Amy covered her ears at the excessive cussing.

Tails had a thoughtful expression on his face. "Hmm..."

Sonic was already back into depression about the spaghetti.

A frustrated Metal pulled a lever on the control panel as the craft rose to a good height. The Egg Mobile emitted a continuous beeping sound as Metal turned his head back and put one arm on the rear of the vehicle, getting it to go in reverse just like a car. Now he was in position. Now he was ready. Metal took another swig from his can, which Tails noticed, and readied for assault.

Sonic grinned as he took a position behind Amy, fully ready to use her as a human shield.

"_Feel my wrath_!" Metal screamed as he pushed a lever. The hovercraft burst into motion as it flew not forward, but backwards into the mountain wall behind it.

Tails stared thoughtfully at Metal and the wreckage that was now on the ground. Then he snapped his fingers. "You guys. I think I know what's wrong with him."

Everybody turned to him.

Tails scratched the back of his head. "I don't even think it's possible, but uhh, I think he drunk."

Knuckles burst out laughing. "You think he's been hittin' the whiskey a little too hard?"

Tails chuckled. "No, it's WD-40."

"WD-40 mixed with oil and _rum_!" Metal shouted, getting up.

Sonic and the others watched with amusement as Metal stumbled toward them in his drunken stupor.

Knuckles crossed his arms and smirked. "Looks like _somebody_ went on a little binge after we bitch-slapped him on the Egg Fleet."

Metal glared at Knuckles as he took a long sip from his can. "It's not like you did it yourself, um, ...Fuckles."

"That's _Knuckles!_"

Metal sneered. His words came out slurred. "You bastards...better...better sleep with one eye open. Because I'll take you like...like..." He tried to snap his fingers, but couldn't get any sound. He tried again. And again. Then, out of frustration, he dropped his can and clapped his metallic hands together. "...Like _that_!"

Metal pointed at Shadow. "I'll kill you..."

He pointed at Knuckles. "And you..."

He pointed at Tails. "And you..."

He pointed at Sonic. "I don't know who in the damn you are, but I'll kill you, too."

Then, without warning, Metal activated his foot thrusters and flew off shakily. The Sonic Team watched as he kept flying, stopped in mid-air for a few seconds, changed directions, and flew off in the latter direction. He didn't even know where he was going. No sooner than disappearing over the mountain, Metal came back and landed right in front of the others. He picked up his can and glared at them. "...Bitches."

Then Metal took off for good.

Amy lowered her hammer. "That was weird."

Shadow was still looking at the spot where Metal disappeared. "Eggman's up to something. I think we should pay him a little visit."

Sonic nodded. "Obviously must be one his plans."

Tails couldn't believe it. Didn't they realize what had just happened? He rushed up to Sonic. "Are you _nuts_?" He spun Sonic around to face the carnage. "Look at my goddamned _house_!"

Sonic stared at the hole in the front. "It's not so bad..."

"Do you have any idea how long it will take to fix this?"

"Aww, don't sweat it Tails. We'll help you."

Tails sighed. "Fine."

Sonic didn't know what bothered him more: the fact they had been threatened by a drunken robot, or the fact that Metal had somehow forgotten to include Amy in his short list of death threats.

"You guys wait here and I'll get the X-Tornado," Tails said, walking to his garage behind the house.

A few moments later, they were up in the air. Amy was in the back seat of the plane, while Sonic and Shadow were positioned on the wings. Knuckles was gliding right beside them. He had wanted to stop by Angel Island first to check on the Master Emerald. After enduring the put-downs of the others about how his dumb-ass should never leave the emerald in the first place, they finally gave in and headed toward the floating island.

Sonic and the others waited by the plane as Knuckles walked up the stairs toward the Master Emerald. He took one glance at the emerald and smirked. Rouge the Bat stood leaning on it like it was some kind of fence.

Knuckles grinned. "Well, bat-girl. What are you doing here, I wonder?"

Rouge walked forward straight up to Knuckles and put a finger on his chest. "I am here to tell you to _quit calling me late at night, BITCH!_"

To this, Knuckles grinned seductively. "Oh, come now. You know you like talkin' to 'Da Knux Man'."

"No, I do not like talkin' to 'Da Knux Man'!" Rouge shouted. "You think this is funny? Don't make me change my damn phone number!"

Knuckles flicked his dreads with his hand. "Fine, fine. I won't bother you. But you know you want this. I can see it in your _eyes_." He puckered his lips. "Now come over here and give me some soo-gar."

_SMACK!_

Knuckles went tumbling all the way down the stairs, coming to a stop in front of Sonic and the others.

Rouge flew down and landed behind the layed out Knuckles. "Hey there, guys. What're you up to?"

Sonic spoke up first. "We're going to Eggman's base to kick his ass for attacking us earlier."

"And wrecking my house," Tails added.

"And nearly destroying my _waffles!_" Shadow said menacingly.

The others stared at him. He looked back. "...What?"

"Why don't you come with us?" Amy asked.

Rouge tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I think I will. Might be something valuable over there, you know." She turned to Knuckles, who was still on the ground, grinning sheepishly up at her. "But you..." She pointed at him. "You stay the hell away from me. You so much as touch me _once_ and I'll choke-slam your ass into the ocean, got it?"

Knuckles got up. "Got it."

Sonic looked out into the ocean. "We need to hurry. Who knows what kind of twisted plan Eggman's cooking up...?"

ooo

Dozens of robots worked franticly to achieve what needed to be done. They ran around sorting paperwork, running diagnostic tests on machinery, and mixing beakers full of unknown substances. This is what went on in the depths of Eggman's base. But Dr. Eggman was nowhere to be found. He wasn't at his master control panel. He wasn't at the armory. Hell, he wasn't even at the mess hall. Just where was he, exactly? Well...

The bathroom door flew open and Eggman stepped out. Supreme satisfaction displayed on his face as he put the newspaper under his arm. "Man, that was _heaven!_" He frowned. "That's the last time I eat at Jimmy's Tacos! That crap made me sick!"

An alarm siren blared overhead as one of the worker robots ran up to Eggman. Eggman threw down the newspaper. "Robot! Report!"

The worker saluted. "Dr. Eggman, sir! Our security cameras have detected unknown persons approaching the base! There are quite a few of them!"

Eggman growled and rushed to his main control room. When he got in, his hands moved in a blur on a keyboard and the giant video screen crackled to life. Sure enough, the camera showed a blue airplane approaching with two figures flying beside it. Eggman adjusted his dark glasses. "Sonic..."

ooo

Tails slowly dropped the altitude of his plane as they prepared to land. Knuckles, stupidly, had chosen to disregard Rouge's warnings and had tried to cop a few feels. As a result, he was bruised in many places and was clutching his stomach.

ooo

Eggman ran to and fro, gathering up his weapons and robots to prepare for battle. He couldn't believe it. First, somebody steals his Egg Mobile, then he gets sick, and now this. He and his army of robots had just positioned themselves in the main bunker when Sonic and Co. arrived.

Sonic hopped off of Tails plane and pointed dramatically at Eggman. "Eggman, you've gone too far this time!"

Eggman, from behind his robot army, yelled: "What the hell did I ever do to _you?_"

"You sent Metal Sonic after us! And since we can't find him, we're going to kick _your_ ass instead!"

"That's preposterous! I never sent him! I don't even know where that piece of shit _is!_"

Sonic sneered. "You're lying. I can see it in your eyes."

"You can't even see my eyes! I got shades on, ass! Attack them!"

The whole robot army lunged forward to assault. Sonic started off by using his Homing Attack to take out a few enemies. Tails had brought along his favorite laser guns and was having target practice. Amy managed to hold her own as well (much to Sonic's dismay) by using various hammer techniques. Shadow and Knuckles were blowing through the androids like they were paper. Rouge had an easy time as well as she dodged attacks with grace and flexibility. She used her powerful kicks to beat down the robots (and occasionally Knuckles, who tried to get close to her).

Moments later, the robot army lay in ruins. An easy warm-up. Rouge looked back up to where Eggman was to see him running into another room. "He's getting away!" she called to the others.

Eggman ran into his armory where he immediately powered up his newest invention. It was a large control panel which manipulated a series of glass tubes in the floor. All he had to do was wait for them to run over the floor panels.

Sonic and Shadow came in first. The floor beneath them started to give way, but their sheer quickness got them over the panels before they were caught. Rouge and Tails were flying, so they didn't get caught. Knuckles, however, managed to get his foot caught in the gap that was opening in the floor. The glass tube slid up, but Knuckles pulled free at the last minute and jumped out. Amy was the unlucky one as she tripped and fell right _on_ the floor panel. The glass tube quickly slid up. She was trapped.

The Sonic Team, sans Sonic himself, cried out in unison. "Amy!"

Sonic watched Amy beat her fists on the glass. She had no room to swing her hammer. _I wonder what's going to happen to her,_ Sonic thought happily. _Poison gas, maybe?_

Eggman cackled as a bright pink light surrounded Amy. She struggled as the floor below her lowered. Soon, she was out of sight, taken somewhere below. Eggman pointed to them. "Now, I'll have a _new_ army to serve me!" Then, he pressed a button on the control panel. A loud rumbling was heard as the control panel rose up, and kept rising to reveal something underneath it. Sonic and Co. watched the panel rise until it was about five stories tall. It was a giant robot with a big gun and a shield. Eggman appeared in the visor that was located on the head. "Behold the power of the Egg Emperor 1.7! Bwahahahahah...hah!"

Knuckles lowered his fists. "1.7?"

Eggman pointed at them. "Since you fools barged in on me, I didn't have time to finish it. But that doesn't matter, because now you'll all _die_!"

Tails turned to Sonic. "Sonic! You have to find Amy! Hurry!"

Sonic pouted. "Aww. Can't we just, you know, leave her here?"

"No! Now go!"

Sonic sighed heavily as he ran out of the room. He reached a flight of stairs and saw the tube Amy had been in. It led all the way down to the bottom floor. _I wonder what Eggman meant by his "new army"_? Sonic thought as he flew down the stairs. He reached the room where the tube led and walked in. Amy was in the tube at the back, but the rest of the room was pitch black. He was halfway to Amy when the lights clicked on. Sonic gripped his chest. He thought he was having a heart attack.

Dozens and dozens of Amy doppelgangers surrounded him. The pinkness engulfed him. His eyes burned. This was it. This was the dreaded "Hell Day Finale". Sonic couldn't believe it was going to end like this. One of the clones pulled out a Piko-Piko Hammer and advanced toward Sonic. Sonic, preparing to go down fighting, lashed out and punched it square in the nose. It fell down. Sonic's eyes widened. What the hell was that just now? Did he actually _hurt_ it? It looked like Amy, but he caused her pain. Beautiful pain. The pain in his chest subsided. Sonic stood up. This was what he was waiting for. Now was the time for revenge.

Sonic rushed forward and delivered an uppercut to the nearest clone he saw. Then he grabbed it out of midair and threw it into another group of clones. Sonic jumped into the group and executed superb homing attacks. As soon as he landed, a hammer came up and struck him across the face, knocking him down.

Sonic got up slowly, rubbing his face. His green eyes sparkled. He was going to love this...

ooo

The Egg Emperor lay on the ground flaming and smoldering. Eggman rolled out of the cockpit. "You fools may have gotten lucky this time, but I have some unfinished business!" He ran into a room and a metal door slammed shut.

Knuckles was hunched over, breathing hard. "Damn! He got away. Rouge, come help your man."

Rouge glanced at him. "Go to hell."

Shadow looked around. "Where the hell is Sonic?"

Tails put away his laser guns. "He went down to save Amy. Let's go find him."

They found the room about ten minutes later. Tails looked around in shock. "What _happened_?"

The room was littered with the bodies of the Amy clones. Some of them bloodied, other clean. A large glass tube at the rear of the room had been shattered. Sonic lay smiling against one of the walls. Tails rushed over to Sonic while the others scouted the room.

Tails shook Sonic gently. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Sonic stood up. "Eggman must have made clones of Amy while she was trapped in that tube. So I came down here and killed them all."

Tails stared at Sonic in awe. "You couldn't have killed them _all_...?"

Sonic smiled. "Trust me. They _are_ dead."

"Guys! Look!" Knuckles said, pointing to a clone that had risen.

Shadow hopped back. "How do we know that that's not a clone?"

Sonic took one of the laser pistols from Tails. "Let's find out."

He shot once, and it missed. He shot two more times, and missed. Sonic emptied the whole clip at the clone. All of those shot missed as well. He stared at the clone, which stared back at him, smiling. Sonic lowered the gun. "Yeah, that's Amy."

Amy rushed over to Sonic and gave him a big kiss, which almost caused him to go into shock.

"Tails! Give me another clip! What are you waiting for? Someone shoot her! Someone maim her! She's giving me rabies!"

Tails sighed and smiled. "Let's get out of here."

ooo

Eggman stormed through his underground bunker. "Damn it! I can't believe I lost _again_!"

Just then, a figure stepped out of the shadows, sipping from a can. "It looks like you need help. You're such a sorry bastard."

Eggman whirled around to meet the stranger. His eyes widened behind his dark glasses. "You..."

ooo

Sonic lay in bed that night, thinking about the day. That "Hell Day". He first had to wake up to Shadow and his damn waffles, then had to deal with the devil herself, Amy Rose. He had gotten attacked by a drunken Metal Sonic and dealt with Eggman. And to top it all off, he bravely stepped into the netherworld. The netherworld that was the horde of Amy clones. He had to be the best hero in the world that day. He felt proud of himself. But what was this "Hell Day" philosophy? Why did it only happen to him? He would probably never know. Also, what had Eggman been talking about when he said he had "unfinished business"? Ah, well. Sonic would worry about that later. He had just been through hell and back. He closed his eyes. It had been a long day.

Then his eyes shot open.

But what would tomorrow bring?

ooo

A cashier wiped down the counter. The day had been long and boring, but now it was closing time. That is, until he heard the little bell ring on the door.

"I'm sorry, but we're closed," the cashier said without looking up.

"Oh? Is that so? Because I got a problem."

The cashier looked up see Dr. Eggman, standing there smiling.

"Look buddy, we're closed."

Eggman stroked his mustache. "This _is_ Jimmy's Tacos. Is it not?"

"Yes."

"I ordered two of your large bean burritos, and they made me sick."

The cashier raised an eyebrow. "...And?"

Eggman leaned over the counter. "I want my damn money back."

"Sorry, no refunds."

Eggman was starting to lose it. "Reach in there... and give me my motherfucking $4.50!"

The manager came out from the back. "What's going on here?"

Eggman pointed at the cashier. "Tell this bastard to give me my money!"

"What seems to be the problem?"

"I got sick off your goddamn burritos!"

"Sorry, no refunds."

Eggman stared at him for a moment, then turned to the entrance of the restaurant. "Bring in the Egg Drill!"

The cashier and the manager looked to the entrance, but nothing happened.

"_Get your ass in here!_" Eggman yelled through clenched teeth.

Suddenly, all the windows in the front of the restaurant shattered as a red, mid-sized tank with a drill on the front entered on its two side wheels. Eggman shut his eyes as the drill came within inches of his face. The tank fell back down on all fours as the window rolled down and Metal Sonic hung his head out, sipping his WD-40 from a metal flask. "You rang?"

Eggman glared at Metal with utmost hatred. "_You fucking idiot!"_ he screamed. "_You nearly hit me!"_

Metal hung out of the window and took another sip from his flask. "...So?"

Eggman then looked at the drill, which was still in motion. "_And turn the damn drill off!_"

Metal rolled his red eyes. "Fine!"

Eggman watched as Metal fumbled with the controls. He accidentally turned the headlights on, nearly blinding everybody, turned them back off, and then finally turned the drill off.

"Why did I _build _you?" Eggman screamed before turning to the cashier. "Now. My money."

The frightened cashier looked at Eggman, then looked at Metal, who was staring off to the side sipping from his flask with one hand still on the steering wheel. The cashier opened the register and handed Eggman the money. "Here!"

Eggman counted the money. "Where the fuck's my _tax?_"

The cashier gave him the extra forty-five cents.

Eggman put the money in his pocket. "Metal."

Metal didn't answer.

Eggman was losing it again. "_Metal_!"

"_What?_" Metal asked, irritably.

"_Pay attention!_ Back the Egg Drill up! Slowly!"

"Fine!"

After sipping from his flask, Metal fiddled with the gearshift, resulting in horrible grinding noise.

Eggman slapped his head. "Use the clutch, you idiot! _The clutch!_"

"I know that, _goddamn it!_" Metal screamed from inside the tank. When he finally shifted into reverse, the tank lurched forward, knocking Eggman down. He then stomped on the gas and accelerated full speed out of the restaurant.

"I said _slowly_, you fuck!" Eggman got up and ran outside to see Metal floor it in full reverse all the way down the street and around the corner. Two seconds later a crash was heard, followed by a deafening explosion.

Eggman was near tears as he ran down the street. "_Goddamn it to hell_!" he screamed.

The cashier and the manager watched in terror as they tried to make sense of what just happened.

* * *

**More to come...**


	5. The ULTIMATE Thanksgiving

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic.

* * *

**

The alarm rang.

Sonic rolled over and put the pillow over his head. Why was that damn alarm ringing? He could have _sworn_ that he broke that thing yesterday. After the events of yesterday, Sonic didn't feel like doin' shit. He would just sleep until the wee hours of, oh say, two in the afternoon?

His stomach growled.

He hadn't eaten anything the night before, not that he'd want to since visions of the Amy clones haunted his mind. Sonic threw off the covers and decided to get up.

After doing the usual of splashing water on his face and sharpening his quills to dangerous levels, Sonic searched for his shoes. He found one, which somehow got under his bed. The other was nowhere to be seen. Sonic muttered.

"People always movin' my shit…"

Sonic paced around his room with one shoe on, only to find nothing. Then he remembered that he had thrown one of his shoes at Amy when she had tried to come into his room the previous night. He opened his door to find his shoe sitting in the middle of the hallway, right where it had landed. Sonic shook his head as he grabbed his shoe. Somebody could've at _least_ picked it up and returned it to him. He had just put his shoe on when he heard a door opening. Sonic wasn't about to put up with this shit this early. Not now. He stood upright.

Shadow.

He was leaning on the doorframe of his room, staring at Sonic. "What the hell are you doing?"

Sonic looked him up and down. "Fuckin' starin' at _you_."

Shadow put his hand to his heart, pretending to be shocked. "Better watch your tone with me, faker."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll beat that ass. You know the routine."

Sonic yawned. "I should smack you up right now, but I won't. I'm hungry."

"I'm hungry, too."

Sonic narrowed his eyes. He knew where this was going. Shadow wasn't going to have his way this time.

Without warning, Sonic broke for the stairs, only to be tripped by Shadow. Sonic went tumbling down the stairs as Shadow jumped over him, but went down hard as Sonic caught his leg. Both hedgehogs grappled with each other as they rolled down the stairs. Shadow landed face first on the floor with Sonic on top. Sonic quickly grabbed Shadow by his quills and slammed his head into the floor.

Sonic spoke with each slam. "What…" **_Slam!_** "…Now…" **_Slam!_** "…_Bitch_?" **_Slam!_**

Shadow bucked Sonic off of him and tore out his Chaos Emerald. "I hope you did everything you've wanted to in life up until now…" Shadow said, sneering. "…Because you've just started World War Three!" Shadow dove at Sonic and they both disappeared in a green flash.

Tails was still asleep in his room. He had managed to fix the hole in his house the night before, and he was dead tired. He thought he was going to get a couple more hours of sleep, but he was wrong. Tails was suddenly awakened by loud thumpings on the roof. He listened harder and heard the voices. He didn't even want to know what they were fighting aboutthis time. Tails pulled his covers up and looked out his window just in time to see a jumble of black and blue fall past, cussing the whole time, followed by a flash of green light. It was only 7:06 and already Shadow was using Chaos Control. He was just using that thing like a damn toy now. Tails went back to sleep. He was definitely the mature one.

Sonic and Shadow had teleported back inside the house and broke for the kitchen. They slapped at each other's hands as they battled to open the freezer door of the refrigerator. Shadow managed to get the door open, but Sonic was right there with him. Shadow saw his golden opportunity. He reached in and grabbed a block of frozen peas and, with all his strength, lashed the block across Sonic's face. Sonic went down with a frustrated cry. Shadow, not wasting a second, snatched a box out of the freezer, tore out the contents, and shoved them into the microwave. The timer was set and activated. Sonic gawked in terror at the microwave. Shadow was victorious.

The waffles were in.

Sonic sounded as if he were about to cry. "Damn you, Shadow! Damn you and your _waffles!_"

Shadow grinned evilly. "Give in, Sonic! You can't win! Join me!" He then beckoned Sonic and bellowed: "_Join the Waffle Empire!_"

Sonic stepped back and gritted his teeth. "_Never!_ You may have won this time, Shadow. But one day, you'll come down to the kitchen and your precious waffles will be _gone_! _Pancakes will rule this house!_" he screamed as he ran out the front door.

"Not on my watch, faker." Shadow said silently. "Not on my watch…"

It was just past ten o'clock when Tails finally woke up and got himself ready. He went downstairs to find Shadow sitting by himself, watching T.V. Tails looked around. "Where's Sonic?"

Shadow shrugged. "He ran off when I beat him to the kitchen and made waffles." He then smiled.

Tails shook his head. "When do you think you'll _ever_ stop torturing Sonic?"

Shadow shrugged again. "When he stops being a bitch."

The phone rang and Tails picked up. "Hello?"

Amy was on the other end. "Hey, Tails!"

"Oh, hey Amy. What's up?"

"What're you guys going to do for Thanksgiving?"

"I really don't know yet. We haven't bought a turkey or anything."

"I'll come over and we can go to the store."

"Okay, then." Tails hung up.

Shadow glanced at him. "You know that faker is going to have a fit."

"Yeah, I know." Tails said. "Maybe I can get Amy to lay off of him a little."

Shadow and Tails looked up as Sonic came in through the front door.

"Hey, Sonic." Tails said. "Where have you been?"

Sonic took a toothpick out of his mouth. "Dear friends. I just had a delightful breakfast at the _Pancake House!_" He deliberately smiled at Shadow to piss him off, which it did.

Shadow narrowed his eyes at Sonic. "You better not ever let me catch you over there."

"Oh, but I _will_ be going over there," Sonic said brazenly. "_Every_ day."

Shadow said nothing.

ooo

About half an hour later, Amy arrived at the door. Tails went to answer, but looked back at Sonic, who was pointing a crossbow at the door smiling and nodding at him to open it. After much pleading, Tails finally got Sonic to put the weapon down so he could let Amy in.

Once again, Amy Rose had penetrated the fortress.

Amy came in, surprisingly followed by Rouge and a beat up Knuckles.

"I called them and had them meet me here," Amy explained.

"It would have been a pleasant trip if I hadn't ran into _Knuckles!_" Rouge said angrily, glaring at him, who grinned goofily back at her.

So, everybody set off to the grocery store. Sonic and Shadow were running, while Amy, Knuckles, and Tails rode in Rouge's car. Knuckles, of course, had to sit in the back with Tails.

"You really should treat her more like a lady," Tails said in a low voice to Knuckles, referring to Rouge, who was talking up front with Amy.

Knuckles just had to kick Rouge's anger up a notch by saying out loud: "She's just mad 'cuz I won't give her none!"

As soon as they reached a red light, Rouge turned around with Amy's Piko-Piko Hammer and whaled on Knuckles repeatedly until the light turned green. Tails pressed himself up against the door as he watched Knuckles desperately try to parry some blows from the hammer. "She's scary sometimes…"

Sonic and Shadow were the first to reach the store and waited in the parking lot for Rouge and the others. When they finally showed up, everybody got out except Knuckles, who was bruised and entangled in the seat belt, as Rouge had tried to choke him with it earlier.

Sonic walked up to the car. "For shame, Knuckles. Getting your ass kicked by a woman."

Knuckles finally got himself out of the car. "Hey, Tails was back there with me. I had to set a good example."

"Whatever."

Tails didn't want to have to spend all day in the store, so once inside, he once again attempted to take command. "All right, lets make this quick. Shadow, you go--"

Shadow was gone.

A confused and irritated Tails looked all around to find that he was the only one standing there. "Goddamn it!"

Meanwhile, Sonic had been lucky enough to elude Amy quickly. He was walking down the aisle when a cry was heard.

"_You son of a bitch!_"

Sonic looked up to see Knuckles flying overhead from the left and into the aisle adjacent to the one Sonic was in. To this, Sonic just shook his head sadly. He continued walking until he found the boxes of stuffing. Perfect. At least he wouldn't go back empty handed. He grabbed two boxes and put them under his arm. Then, with a sly grin, Sonic grabbed a box of pancake mix and put it in between the stuffing boxes so nobody would notice.

Amy was down in the hair products aisle. She had already loaded her basket up with about seven different kinds of conditioner, two hairbrushes, and three bottles of lotion. At the top of her basket was _one_ can of cranberry sauce. She smiled proudly. "Looks like _my_ shopping's done!"

An employee put the last frozen turkey in the display case. A lot of people had already bought turkeys despite it being so early in the day. He had just started to walk off when a shopping cart filled with about six boxes of waffles pushed itself toward the counter.

Shadow crossed his arms. "I require the turkey."

The employee stared at him for minute. "A turkey? Sure."

"No. _The_ turkey."

"How…do you mean?"

Shadow walked straight up to the counter and looked the employee dead in the eye. The guy had no idea what was in store for him.

"…The _ultimate_ turkey."

"I…don't think we have those."

Shadow stared at him for a moment with a raised eyebrow. "…Good man, do you know what I am?"

"_Wha_t you are?"

"Yes."

"…Porcupine?"

Shadow chuckled lightly. "Hm. Jokes. I will let that one slide. Good man, I am a hedgehog. Do you know what _kind_? One guess."

"Well, I--"

"Wrong. I am the _ultimate_ life form."

The worker, quite scared, didn't reply.

"That means that I require an _ultimate_ turkey. Now, you will prepare this turkey to _ultimate _perfection. Double glazed and stuffed. With all the fixins'. "

The worker cowered behind the counter.

"And if you don't…" Shadow pulled out his Chaos Emerald. "…You will win an involuntary trip to the _moon!_"

"Yes, sir!" The employee ran off to prepare the turkey.

About an hour later, Tails found everybody at the front of the store with all the food. He gawked at Shadow, who was holding a finely cooked and seasoned turkey neatly wrapped up in plastic.

"Where…no. _How_ did you get that?" Tails asked.

"It's amazing what some people will cook for you when my good friend Mr. Emerald is supervising." Shadow said, patting the turkey.

They all got in line and set their things down. Knuckles was, of course, behind Rouge and decided to cop a feel. The cashier who was running the items over the scanner suddenly jumped back as Knuckles went sliding over the conveyor. The display on the cash register flashed seventy-five cents.

They all arrived back at Tails' house in a matter of time to start getting the food ready. Since the hardest part of cooking the turkey was already done, that left the other dishes to be prepared. Tails, being a gentleman, insisted that the guys make the rest of the food. So Rouge and Amy decided to leave to get dressed up for later on. "Make sure and wear that thong I like!" Knuckles called when Rouge went through the front door.

Sonic slugged him on the shoulder. "You're never going to get her if you keep talkin' to her like that."

Knuckles shrugged. "She likes it when I do that. Notice how she didn't try to kick me in the nuts?" He smiled and pointed both fingers at Sonic. "That's _love_, baby!"

Sonic sat down at the kitchen table. "The day that you get Rouge is the day you become stronger than all of us."

Knuckles scoffed. "I _am_ stronger than all of you!"

"Please, Knux. Rouge kicks your ass like clockwork," Sonic shot back.

"Bitch," Shadow muttered, arranging the food on the counter.

Knuckles got up.

Sonic sighed. "Knuckles, sit down…"

Knuckles sat back down calmly, but pointed at Shadow, who wasn't looking. "You better watch your ass, Shadow. Don't make me put on the Shovel Claws! I'll dig your ass down!"

Shadow ignored Knuckles and glanced down at the oven. "This stuffing is ready."

Tails got up from the table. "Cool. Take that out so we can make the macaroni and cheese."

Shadow set the tray of stuffing on the counter and covered it with plastic.

Tails looked at everybody. "All right. Now we are going to make this mac 'n' cheese. _All_ of us."

As expected, Sonic groaned.

ooo

Nightfall came and it was time for the guests to start arriving. Tails had called the Chaotix Detective Agency and asked Espio and the others to come over. Knuckles had left and came back after checking on the Master Emerald. Sonic and Shadow were watching T.V. No sooner than expected, the doorbell rang and Sonic opened the door only to be hugged by Amy. Sonic turned and franticly started mouthing something to Tails, who just shook his head no. A few moments later, and much to Knuckles delight, Rouge arrived in a nice dress. After that, Espio arrived and walked in. Sonic greeted him. "Yo, Espio! Haven't seen you in a while."

Espio beamed. "Yeah, our business went way up after we beat Eggman on the Egg Fleet."

Sonic looked behind him. "Where are the others?"

Just as he asked, Charmy Bee flew past them screaming: "_Food_!".

Vector the Crocodile came in after and slammed down a couple twelve-packs. "I got the _booze_, people!"

Knuckles perked up. "Man, is that Coors?"

Vector handed the beer to Knuckles, who quickly put it in the refrigerator. Vector slapped Sonic's back. "How's it goin' Sonic?"

Sonic shrugged. "Good. Sometimes pure hell." He pointed to Amy.

The crocodile nodded. "Ah…"

A few minutes later, everybody had gathered around in the kitchen where the turkey sat and said grace. After that, the feast was on! Shadow instantly whipped his Chaos Emerald to warp all the best parts of the turkey onto his plate. Sonic, however, stole some of those good parts when Shadow wasn't looking. Rouge was getting her food calmly after she had the pleasure of clobbering a perverted Knuckles with one of her extremely painful high heeled shoes. Tails and Charmy were flying above the table trying to spot some untouched food. Vector had grabbed two big pieces of bread and turned the food on his plate into some sort of big-ass super sandwich. Amy had a little bit of trouble as she couldn't get close to her beloved Sonikku, as he held on to the giant electric carving knife used to cut the turkey. Espio used his invisibility to turn "Vector's Big-Ass Sandwich" into "Espio's Big-Ass Sandwich". Everybody had a good time…

That is…until Vector and Knuckles got a little drunk off the beer…

ooo

Hours later, Sonic sat down to watch some T.V. after Thanksgiving was over. Shadow and Tails had already gone to sleep. Sonic flipped through channels until he saw the news.

A young woman in her mid twenties continued her newscast. "In other news, the pancake house on Fifth Street and Monroe was mysteriously burned down earlier today. The cause of the fire remains unknown, but one clue _was_ found by police. It seemed to be a box of brand waffles with the word "ULTIMATE" written on the side in big, black, letters. If anyone has any information, please call the phone number below…"

Shadow grinned as Sonic's angry scream carried up to his room. _"Goddamn you, Shadow!"_

* * *

**Happy Thanksgiving!**


	6. The Invitation

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic.**

* * *

Sonic yawned as he flipped through the channels on the T.V. There had been nothing on but news. It was about ten o'clock in the morning and everybody was up at the Prower household. Sonic didn't really show it, but he was pissed again. Shadow had once more beat him to the kitchen to make waffles, leaving Sonic to either eat cereal with Tails, or "succumb to the almighty power of waffles!" as Shadow put it. 

Sonic flipped to another channel. Ever since Shadow moved in, it was hell on a stick. He gazed wearily at Shadow in the kitchen. Someday they were going to fight. Not just some weak Running-At-High-Speed-While-Exchanging-Punches fight. It would be a full-on, get-down massacre that would destroy half the city.

Sonic smiled.

Then the world would know the joy of pancakes.

Tails came down the stairs to see Sonic laying across the couch. "Sonic, check the mail for me, would ya?"

"Okay."

Sonic got up and went outside to the mailbox beside the house. He grabbed the fist full of mail that had been shoved in the tiny compartment and began to look through them as he went back in the house.

"Fuckin' bills…" Sonic muttered as he tossed random envelopes onto the couch cushion beside him. Then something caught his eye. It was an envelope that had "Sonic Team" written on the front. "Tails! Shadow! Come look! We got a letter!"

"Fool! Can't you see these waffles need my _undivided_ attention?" Shadow replied angrily from the kitchen.

"Then bring the plate with you, ass!"

Tails came back down the stairs. "What is it?"

Sonic waved the letter high in the air. "We got a letter. Maybe we finally won a bitch-load of cash for saving this damn city so many times."

Shadow came out of the kitchen, carrying a big stack of waffles on a plate. "You think it's waffles? Coupons? His eyes sparkled. "_Coupons for waffles?_"

Sonic glared at Shadow. "Maybe it's a letter suing your ass for burning down the pancake house!"

Tails sighed. "Can we just open it, _please?_"

Sonic opened the envelope and took out a card and a folded piece of paper. He took the piece of paper and read out loud to the others:

"_Sonic Team,"_

_Get ready for the battle of your lifetimes! We'll got straight to the point: We want to kick your asses. We've been feuding with each other for years, but now the time has come to put an end to this war once and for all!_

_We challenge you to a tournament! If you have the balls to show up, then be at the Rose Coliseum this Saturday! We look forward to beatin' your asses!_

_S.S.B._

**P.S.**_ Just in case you bastards are thinking of not showing up, we've taken the liberty of kidnapping your little rabbit friend, Cream. If you want her back, then fight us!_

Tails grabbed the letter from Sonic. "Man, they kidnapped Cream!"

"Who do those fools think they are?" Shadow asked nonchalantly, taking a bite of a waffle.

Sonic was fuming. "Those pansy motherfuckers think they can take _us?_ We foil world domination on a daily basis!"

"There's just one problem," Shadow said. "Who the fuck is 'S.S.B.'?"

"Hmm…" Tails studied the letter hard. "I don't know. Sonic, what does the card say?"

Sonic opened the card that had came with the letter. "It's an invitation to the tournament."

"So, obviously this 'S.S.B.' knows of our reputation," Shadow said.

"And they have Cream," Tails added.

"Then we have no choice," Sonic said, hopping off of the couch. "We have to find out where this Rose Coliseum is and who these 'S.S.B.' fuckers are."

"We'll have to sit tight until I can find out who these guys are," Tails said, folding the letter back up. "In the meantime, you guys gather up the others and have them meet over here."

ooo

The phone rang.

Rouge sighed as she rolled over. The previous night had worn her down, and she was nowhere near ready to get up yet. The combined experience of eating too much Thanksgiving food and constantly having to hand a Grade-A beat down to Knuckles had proven too much for her. Plus she got home late, also. Rouge finally picked up the phone next to her bed after it rang a couple more times. "Hello?"

"Hey, Rouge! It's Sonic."

"Oh, hey," Rouge muttered sleepily, then frowned. "Wait…how did you get my number?"

"Knuckles."

Rouge's eye twitched. Damn Knuckles. Damn him to shit. "What do you want?"

"We just got a letter inviting us to some kind of tournament. The letter was signed by some group called S.S.B."

"S.S.B.? Never heard of them."

"Neither have we, but that's not the problem. These fools say they kidnapped Cream."

Rouge bolted upright in her bed. "The rabbit? Why would they take _her?_ Why couldn't they take Knuckles' stupid ass?"

"They said if we don't participate in the tournament, something bad will happen to her. Or so I'm guessing."

"All right," Rouge said. "I'll be over as soon as I can."

ooo

Amy was already up at her apartment eating breakfast when the phone rang. She picked up. "Hello?"

There was what sounded like barely audible cussing on the other end, then Sonic's voice came. "Hey, Amy."

Amy instantly filled with joy. "_Sonikku!_ I knew you would call to confess your love to me someday!"

"…No."

"You're not going to confess?"

"Damn no."

Amy giggled. "You're a terrible liar, Sonikku."

"Whatever. Listen, the others and I are going to a tournament. Are you in?"

"A tournament? Yeah, I'll go!"

"Okay, then be over here in about an hour."

"All right." Amy then added in a sultry voice: "Bye, Sonikku."

Sonic cringed as he hung up the phone. Why did she always call him 'Sonikku'? What did that even _mean?_

ooo

Shadow trudged up the stairs of Angel Island toward the Master Emerald. He was surprised to see that Knuckles was actually there, but he still wasn't doing his job properly. He was sprawled out on top of the emerald, sleeping, with his shades still on. He was snoring.

Shadow waltzed up to the emerald and gave it a swift kick, causing Knuckles to fall off. "Wake up, echidna."

Despite hitting the ground, Knuckles was still asleep. "Rouge, those tits are bounce-alicious…"

"Perverted little…" Shadow began to kick Knuckles repeatedly until he woke up.

Knuckles snorted. "Huh? Ow! What….? _Ow! _Quit, _damn it!_"

Shadow kicked him again. "Get your ass up, we have work to do…"

ooo

It had been a slow day at the Chaotix Detective Agency. Vector was pacing impatiently around the office. "I'm so bored!"

Espio leaned back in his chair. "Relax, Vector. It's still early. Give it some time and the phone calls will start coming in."

Charmy floated around the room, drinking a soda. "Yeah, Vec. Sit your big ass down."

Vector whirled around to face the grinning bee. "_What?_"

"You're wearin' out the floor." Charmy then easily dodged a thrown soda can. "Whup. Missed."

The phone rang as Vector and Charmy dived for it, but sighed in defeat when Espio picked it up. "Chaotix Detective Agency."

"Yo, Espio!"

"Hey, Sonic. What's up?"

"Listen, we need to participate in a tournament that's coming up and I was wondering if you guys would like to come."

Espiio rubbed his chin. "A tournament, huh?" He looked up at Vector and Charmy. "Hey, you guys want to go to a tournament?"

Vector looked as if this was the moment he had been waiting for his entire life. "Hell, yeah! I'm in!"

"Me, too!" Charmy chimed in.

Espio spoke into the receiver. "Then it's settled. We're in. But why exactly are you guys going?"

"Some jackasses calling themselves 'S.S.B.' called us out. They obviously know something about us because they kidnapped Cream."

"The rabbit girl? Why would they take her?"

"I ain't sure, but we're goin' down there and we're beatin' _somebody's_ ass. That's all I know…"

Espio stood up. "We'll be over there as soon as possible."

Sonic hung up the phone just as Tails came down the stairs with a troubled look on his face. "I know who 'S.S.B.' is…"

ooo

Far away at his not-so-hidden base, Dr. Eggman frowned as he watched his robots repair all the damage that Sonic and the others had done. He would get Sonic someday. Even if he had to make more Amy clones, he would get that hedgehog. The alarms suddenly blared as all the robots stopped what they were doing and snapped to attention. Eggman ran to his control panel and brought up the main screen. His face was expressionless. "You've _got_ to be fuckin' kidding me…"

Sonic was rushing toward the base at incredible speeds.

Eggman immediately gathered up what few robots he had left and waited. He couldn't believe Sonic was trying to come back here again.

A far wall was blown open as a blue typhoon broke through and Sonic rushed in. He slowed to a stop when he saw Eggman, standing there with his measly army. Sonic was holding a yellow Chaos Emerald. He had used it to destroy the wall with his Sonic Wind technique.

Eggman clenched his teeth and pulled out a megaphone. "_What the flying DAMN do you want?_"

"I just want to talk!" Sonic shouted.

Eggman screamed into the device. "_Talk?_ Kiss my ass, _talk!_ You're gay-ass friends destroyed my Egg Emperor!"

"We need your help!"

"Why should I help _you?_"

Sonic pulled out the letter. "Because of this! Come over here so we can quit yellin'."

"No. _You _come over _here!_"

"Fine!"

Sonic raced past the robots before they could even react and was standing in front of Eggman. He held the letter out toward Eggman, who whipped out a pistol, then snatched the letter. Eggman glared at Sonic. "I should shoot you in your damn foot." Sonic only smirked. Eggman read the letter carefully, his eyebrow raising periodically.

Finally, he looked up at Sonic. "A tournament? You want me to compete in a _tournament_?"

Sonic nodded.

Eggman pointed his gun. "You've either got to be really brave, or really stupid. Coming over here with this bullshit. What are you planning? Tell me before I cap your fuckin' knee."

"I'm not planning anything. I know you'll change your mind once I tell you who we're going to be fighting."

Eggman waited for a response.

Sonic crossed his arms. "Tails told me earlier."

"Tell me, damn it!"

Sonic's face turned serious. "We're fighting the Super Smash Bros."

Eggman dropped his gun. "Them."

Them, the Super Smash Bros. They represented the famous Nintendo company. The Sonic Team represented SEGA. Nintendo and SEGA had been feuding ever since day one. The Smash Bros. were the best fighting team that Nintendo had, but SEGA always rivaled them with the Sonic Team. Sonic knew that he would have to face _him_, the most popular video game character ever: Mario.

ooo

"No way!" Knuckles stared at Tails in disbelief. "We're fighting _them?_"

Tails nodded. "Yep."

Knuckles pounded his fists together and suddenly smirked. "Good, I been wantin' to beat that Donkey Kong's ass for even _havin'_ a rap crew!"

"That damn princess thinks she's so classy," Rouge said, filing her nails. "I'll expose her for the _whore_ that she really is." She blew the dust from her nails and smiled.

Shadow was indifferent. "I'll just plain kick their asses. They sound like of bunch of pussies to me."

Tails turned to Shadow. "That's right. You've never met them before. Don't worry, though. You'll learn to hate them."

Vector was sitting on the couch. "Who cares, as long as there's some action!"

"Yeah!" Charmy agreed. 

Espio walked up to Tails. "Where is Sonic right now?"

"Just doin' some negotiating."

ooo

Sonic ran his hand through his quills. "So, will you help us?"

Eggman was deep in thought. Smash Bros. What Sonic and the other didn't know is that he, too, had a nemesis from Nintendo. He made up his mind. Eggman was not about to miss this opportunity. "You said that this tournament will be held at the Rose Coliseum, correct?"

Sonic nodded. "Yeah, but we don't know where it's at."

Eggman turned around to face Sonic. "It's about three days from Station Square."

"So you'll join us?"

"Yes, but _only_ for the duration of this little situation," he sneered. "I can't even stand looking at your ass for more than ten seconds."

Sonic returned the sneer. "And the jiggling of your fat-ass is fuckin' me up so bad, I can't even see straight."

Sonic and Eggman shook hands. "_Truce!_"

"Meet me back here at noon tomorrow," Eggman said. "We're going on a little road trip…"

* * *

**More craziness to come...**


	7. Preparations

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic.

* * *

**

Sonic couldn't believe it.

It was morning. This was the day that Sonic and the others were supposed to meet up with Eggman to go to the tournament at the Rose Coliseum. But this was not Sonic's concern at the moment. He sat alone in the kitchen, staring at his freshly prepared pancakes. Yes, he had done it. He had finally beat Shadow to the kitchen and was now about to partake in the heaven that was known as pancakes. Sonic wiped a tear from the corner of his eyes. It was so beautiful!

The blue hedgehog was, in fact, so mesmerized by his sweet breakfast that he didn't hear the rapid footsteps coming down the stairs. Sonic's trance had so much power over him that he didn't see Shadow storm into the kitchen. Sonic's blissful experience was so great, that he didn't see Shadow place his foot on the table and activate the thruster on his shoe, burning the pancakes beyond recognition. Sonic broke out of ecstasy just in time to see Shadow shove the plate off of the table and onto the floor with his shoe.

The plate shattered.

Sonic shattered.

Shadow pointed to the ruined pancakes on the floor. "Get this shit out of my kitchen!"

Sonic's hands gripped the arms of his chair as he spoke in a calm, shaky voice. "Shadow, you have crossed the line."

Shadow grinned.

Sonic continued. "I will go into the den and get the Chaos Emeralds. Then I will turn super. When I return to the kitchen, you had better be _far _away, because I will break you into eighths."

Shadow's grin widened. "You ain't gonna do shit. This is _Shadow's _kitchen! And in _Shadow's_ kitchen, there will be no pancakes of any kind!" He once again pointed to the pancake mess on the floor. "Now, clean it up!"

"Fuckin' piece of…" Sonic exploded as he ran out of the kitchen.

Tails came down just in time to see Sonic grabbing the sack with the hard earned Chaos Emeralds inside. He immediately dashed to block Sonic's path. "Sonic! What are you doing? We need those for the tournament!"

"_But he destroyed my pancakes!_" Sonic whined in a high pitched voice.

Tails took a stern, parental type voice. "I don't care. You know the emeralds will spread out again if we use them."

Sonic dropped the sack and angrily flung himself face down on the couch like a child. "_I hate you, Shadow!_" he screamed into the couch cushions. "_You go to hell and you DIE!_"

Tails shook his head and rubbed his temples. "I can't take much more of this." He turned to Shadow. "Real nice, Sha---Shadow!"

Shadow had taken out video camera and was filming Sonic. "…Fuckin' _priceless_. Hey, Tails! How do you get this thing to zoom in?"

ooo

Elsewhere, the other members of Team Sonic were preparing for the trip, and the tournament.

Amy had already eaten breakfast and was packing her suitcase. She folded her clothes neatly on either side of the suitcase and put her Piko-Piko Hammer in the middle. _Three whole days with my beloved Sonikku!_ Amy thought happily. It was going to be heaven for her; a living hell for poor Sonic.

Rouge's situation was similar. She packed extra pairs of her casual clothes along with her toothbrush, shampoo, and other bathroom essentials. She took special attention to pack her special Pick Nails and iron-tipped boots to give her a little edge in the tournament (and to kick the damn out of Knuckles if he tried anything).

Since they told their boss that they were going to the Rose Coliseum as an 'investigation', our favorite Chaotix detectives had it made. They were all able to fit their things into one small suitcase since none of them wore clothes. Espio didn't really pack anything except his toothbrush and a jacket, in case it got cold. Charmy only said he required one essential: his _Game Boy Advance SP_. Vector, however, packed his CD player, a pair of kick-ass shades, a jacket that said 'Vec' on the back, and some porno magazines. He had insisted that they were for the long drive, but Espio, being the voice of reason, voted against the magazines, saying that they would get Charmy all hyped up and possibly traumatized at his young age. That meant that Charmy wouldn't go to sleep. And when Charmy doesn't sleep, _no one_ sleeps.

Knuckles, of course, didn't even have his lazy ass up yet. This time, instead of sleeping on the Master Emerald, he was laid out on the stairs. He still had his shades on, and he was snoring. He mumbled in his sleep. "Yeah, Rouge…come and get some of this pimpin'…"

ooo

Before long, noontime was imminent and the crew was arriving at Eggman's base. Sonic smirked. "This place ain't so secret anymore. We've been walkin' in and out of here like it's fuckin' Wal-Mart."

Vector agreed. "You would think he would have at least _tried _to get a new base."

Tails walked up the entrance, which was now guarded by security lasers, and looked up at a blank monitor screen. "Hey, Eggman!"

The screen flickered on and Eggman's face appeared. "…The fuck do you want?"

Tails scratched his head. "You said to meet you over at noon, right?"

"Oh! Oh, right," Eggman smiled. "Let me just turn off the lasers."

Nothing happened.

"All right. Just run on through."

Tails sighed. "Eggman, I know you didn't turn them off. We're standing right here."

"All right, damn," Eggman muttered as the lasers faded away.

Upon entering the base, the team was greeted by one of Eggman's robots, who led them down a series of corridors to the armory. There, they saw all of Eggman's robots and weapons, some of that were not even completed. Eggman himself appeared a couple minutes later.

"Greetings," he said. "As you know, we have been challenged to a tournament by those cluster-fucks at Nintendo. This event has forged an unlikely alliance between me, Eggman, and you guys, the Sonic Team. Since the Rose Coliseum is three days away form Station Square, I had to build a means of transporting all of us. We could have easily _flown_, but, you bitch-bastards…" Eggman paused and looked at the Chaotix. "Some of whom I can't even fucking recognize, wrecked my aircrafts, which was previously my Egg Fleet."

"Yeah!" Knuckles hooted in the back of the group. "We'll do it again, too!"

Eggman ignored Knuckles and walked over to a giant object covered with a sheet. "Since cars take less time to build than aircrafts, we'll have to make do with _this_!" He pulled off the sheet, revealing a sleek looking S.U.V. Eggman grew giddy. "I introduce you to the E2: _Egg Hummer!_"

Sonic and the others were taken aback. It was a giant, black humvee with not two, but _three_ doors on each side, making it much longer than a regular hummer, and much easier for everyone to fit in.

Sonic's eyes were wide with awe. "Holy mother of damn!"

Tails had to keep himself from losing control. "You've outdone yourself this time, Eggman. This car takes 'bad-ass' to a whole new level!"

Eggman beamed. "Sega cruises in _style_, baby!"

Everybody rushed up to admire the hummer. Knuckles was looking at the rims. 24-inch chrome rims. Then, his eyes widened. They couldn't be…could they? He reached down and touched one of the rims. It moved. Knuckles nearly lost it. "Eggman, you even put _spinners_ on it?"

Eggman flashed a broad smile. "What hummer doesn't have spinners?" He then clapped his hands to get everybody's attention. "All right! Everybody in the car. I want to get on the road before the gay-ass traffic kicks up."

Eggman had built the car so that the back would raise up. Espio, Charmy, and Vector took the rear. In front of them, Knuckles and Sonic sat down. Even further up, Amy, Tails, and Shadow took their seats. Finally, at the front of the car, Eggman took his position in the passenger seat. Rouge was making sure she had everything set with her bag, and put it into the car. When she began to climb into the car, she realized her mistake. Knuckles grinned back at her from his position in the middle. "Looks like you and I are sittin' together, Rouge." He patted the empty seat next to him. "Now slide on over here and give me some of dat sweet ass."

The next thing Knuckles knew, he was back with Espio and the others with a bruised jaw. Rouge called up head of her. "Shadow! Switch places with me." Shadow hopped over the seat while Rouge went around to sit with Amy and Tails.

Knuckles crawled back into his seat between Shadow and Sonic and noticed that Rouge had switched up front. "Aw, baby don't be like that! I can _change_! Come back here and let me give you some lurvin'."

Rouge simply chose to ignore him this time.

It was then that Sonic noticed that Eggman was sitting in the passenger seat. "Hey, Eggman! What's the deal? I thought you were drivin'."

Eggman turned around and was about to reply, but stopped when he saw the bulging suitcases under Amy and Rouge's seats. "Why the hell do you need all that crap?" he questioned, pointing to the bags.

"Changes of extra clothes, what else?" Rouge replied. Amy agreed.

Eggman gaped at them. "Your…your kidding, right? Those are the only outfits I've ever _seen_ you two in." He pointed out, indicating Amy's red dress and Rouge's black pants with the pink top.

It was then, at that time, that Sonic got the answer to his question as the driver's side door opened and someone got in. "It's about _time!_" Eggman snapped as the person closed the door.

Sonic's eyes widened in terror. He knew.

Metal Sonic looked back at the Sonic Team with his red eyes and sipped from his flask. "You better buckle the damn up, kiddies, because Metal's takin' you for a _ride!_"

Parts of the team stared back at Metal in terror, some in confusion.

"Man, fuck _this_." Sonic opened the door and got out. "I'll run my ass to the coliseum."

"Hedgehog!" Eggman called angrily. "Get your ass back in this car so we can go!"

Sonic muttered as he got back in.

"Don't worry," Eggman reassured. "I fixed Metal up a bit. We'll be okay." He turned to Metal with a warning glare. "_Right_, Metal?"

Metal waved him off and started the car. "Yeah, yeah."

And so, the Sonic Team finally set off to the Rose Coliseum. What would the tournament be like? What would their _opponents_ be like? Would the Sonic Team be able to survive the long trip without tearing each other apart?

* * *

**Next chapter: The road trip begins!**


	8. A Very Sonic Road Trip

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic.

* * *

**

There was traffic.

_Lots_ of traffic.

The cars on the freeway were moving slowly. Every now and then, the traffic would let up, letting the cars speed up to get ever closer to their destinations. However, there was one vehicle in particular that was not affected by the pace of the other cars. Random horns honked as this car maneuvered and swerved in and out of traffic with mild expertise. The license plate on the back of the car read 'EGGPIMP' in big, blue letters. Below the license plate was a bright yellow bumper sticker that read: 'Guns don't kill people, _I _do'.

The Egg Hummer was on the move.

Metal Sonic hung his arm out of the rolled down window as he constantly changed lanes and battled for position on the freeway. The Sonic Team had been on the road for no longer than half an hour, and already things had gone to hell. The biggest problem was Eggman, who was in a heated argument with Metal about his driving.

"I would appreciate it if you'd stop driving like an _ass!_" Eggman fumed.

"And _I_ would appreciate it if you'd shut up and let me _drive this damn car!_" Metal shot back as he changed lanes yet again. "I'm not about to sit up in this traffic all day! We got places to _be_!" Metal grinned evilly as he managed to pull into the carpool lane. "Now this is what the hell _I'm_ talkin' about!" He started to speed up until the speedometer was creeping just below 85 miles per hour.

"Metal, slow _down!_" Eggman commanded, afraid to watch the road.

"_Slow down?_" Metal scoffed. "We're in the damn _diamond lane_ for fuck's sake! Ain't nobody slowin' down."

Meanwhile, Tails had immersed himself in a book he had brought with him and was silently reading.

Amy had been turning around and flashing seductive glances as Sonic, who in turn was pleading with Shadow to use Chaos Control on her.

Knuckles' and Rouge's situation was similar. Rouge was reading a magazine, but kept getting interrupted by a certain red echidna.

"Rooooooouuuuuuge…," Knuckles called in his low, seductive, sing-song voice.

Rouge clenched her teeth., but tried to remain calm. "Leave me alone, Knuckles."

Knuckles grinned and called again. "Roooooouuuuuge…"

"Stop."

"Aw, don't do me like that, baby." Knuckles leaned forward. "Come on back here with Big Daddy Knuckles."

Rouge's anger once again won her over as she turned around and snatched Knuckles by his dreadlocks and drove his head repeatedly into the back of the seat. She had actually succeeded in knocking him out temporarily, as he slumped down to the floor. Shadow took this as an opportunity to put his foot up on the seat for extra leg room.

The only people in the car who weren't causing problems were Espio, Charmy, and Vector. Espio was leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and had fallen asleep. Charmy was playing with his _Game Boy SP_, to which he was actually silent with concentration. Vector had his headphones on and was listening to his rock music.

Exactly three hours of driving later, the team found themselves at an almost empty gas station. When the hummer pulled up next to a gas pump, Sonic was the first one out of the car, along with Amy chasing after him. The rear door of the car raised up and Vector, Espio, and Charmy got out, the latter of who immediately flew into the nearby liquor store. "I told you, you should've went when we stopped earlier!" Vector called, watching Charmy's retreating figure.

Shadow and Knuckles stepped out of the car next. "It'll take us forever to get to that damn coliseum!" Knuckles complained.

Shadow put his hands behind his head and walked toward the liquor store. "The thought that frightens me is that I'll have to spend another two days with you bastards." He clenched his fist. "Why must the _ultimate life form _put up with this disgrace?"

Rouge got out and stretched her arms, as well her wings. Tails came out and ducked under one of her wings. "Low bridge," he said, as he flew slowly to the liquor store.

Rouge rubbed her forehead from weariness, then she noticed Knuckles looking at her. "What do you want, Knuckles?"

"If you have a headache, I have something that'll make you feel better."

"…My boot to your head?"

"You see, that will only make _you_ feel better. We gotta do something that makes us both feel better." Then, Knuckles added with a grin. "…At the same time."

"Touch me and die," Rouge threatened as she made her way to store. She hoped the next couple days would go by _real _fast.

_Perfect!_ Metal thought as he opened the car door. _I need a refill on booze._

Eggman still gripped the dashboard. Thank goodness they had even _gotten_ this far in one peace with that damn Metal and his ludicrous driving techniques.

Inside the small liquor store, Vector licked his lips as he loaded up on munchies, as did everybody else. Sonic kept circling around the length of the store, desperately trying to lose Amy. Eggman, however was putting together something lethal. He was over at the nacho stand concocting the biggest and best plate of nachos of all time. He simply nicknamed this special plate 'The Mother'.

After everybody paid for their things and left, only Eggman and Metal where left in the store. The cashier looked up to see Metal slam down a quart of oil, two cans of WD-40, and a bottle of alcohol. The cashier simply stared at Metal in confusion. Metal glared at him. "What the hell are you waiting for? Ring that shit up!"

"Uh, right!"

The cashier quickly put the oil and the WD-40 into a big paper bag, then stopped as he picked up the alcohol. "What, exactly does a _robot_ need this for?"

Metal raised his left arm, which turned into a cannon. "Do you _want_ to die? Now shut the hell up and give me my fuckin' scotch!" The frightened cashier handed Metal the bottle as the robot paid and left the store.

His job wasn't done yet, for Eggman had finished 'The Mother' and set it down gently on the counter. The nachos were piled high and reached up to Eggman's chest. This was truly the ultimate snack. The cashier rang up the total. "Uh, that will be $4.50."

Eggman held up his hand and smiled. "You are mistaken." He then commenced the final phase of 'The Mother' as he held up the plate, revealing it to be a 'small' size. "As you can see, this is a small plate," Eggman explained. "So I _believe_ that means the price lowers itself down to ninety-nine cents." He slapped down a crisp dollar bill and picked up his nachos. "I will say 'good day' to you, sir."

"But-"

Eggman interrupted him. "I _believe_ I said '_good day_'."

The cashier watched helplessly as Eggman strutted out of the store.

Since everybody wanted to eat their snacks, Eggman had to set some rules once they were back on the road. "All right, since everybody has a lot of food, you fools better be careful not to-"

A ripping of a bag was heard somewhere in the back of the car, followed by the sound of many small objects hitting the car floor.

Eggman turned around so quickly, he almost gave himself whiplash. "What the fuck was that? _What the FUCK was that?_"

Shadow pointed to Sonic, who pointed to Knuckles, who then pointed to Shadow.

Eggman had a big vein growing in his forehead. "Sonic, I will kick your ass to the moon!"

Sonic was taken aback. "Don't try and pin that bullshit on _me_! Knuckles is the one with the fuckin' bag of Doritos!"

"It wasn't me! Blame the damn Corn Nut King over here," Knuckles accused Shadow, punching him in the shoulder.

Wrong move.

Next thing they knew, an all out wrestle-fest had broken out in the back seat between Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles. Sharp cries and yelps were heard as the car rocked and shook from the fight. Shadow's voice was heard: "How do you like that, _bitch?_"

"_Ow! Quit bitin' my nipple, you FUCKER!_" Sonic screamed in a high pitched voice.

The fight had caught the attention of Charmy and Vector, to which Charmy was cheering: "_Fight_! _Fight_! _Fight_! Yeah! Kick him in the nuts!"

Eggman could take this no longer. "Metal, pull the goddamn car over," he demanded. "Somebody in this car is about to get fucked up."

Tails ate his food silently with Rouge and Amy while listening to the battle going on behind them. For once, Tails was glad he didn't sit with Sonic.

ooo

Nightfall soon came around and Eggman had decided to find a motel to stay at for the night. Everybody was still awake, surprisingly, when Eggman relayed his plan. "We should rent a couple rooms for tonight," he said. "Because I'll be damned if I have to sleep in this _messy ass car!_"

Eggman said the last part loudly as he turned back and glared at Sonic, Knuckles, and Shadow. Sonic now had an ice pack over his right eye. Knuckles' face still showed pain as he clutched his 'jewels'. Shadow held a wad of tissue in his nose to stop the bleeding.

Whilst looking for a suitable motel, something suddenly caught Eggman's eye. "Metal, slow down and pull into this parking lot right here."

Metal complied and pulled up to a fast food restaurant. He rolled his red eyes. "Damn, you're hungry _again? _Any normal person would have been sick by now with all that shit you ate."

Eggman shook his head. "It's not that. Look at the sign."

Metal looked up an read the sign on the restaurant. "You _still_ have a grudge?"

Eggman turned around to face the others. "We'll find a motel right after I attend to a personal matter." He turned back to Metal. "Let's go. And for the love of God, keep the engine running!"

The rest of the gang shot confused looks to one another as Eggman and Metal got out of the car. Vector watched them go inside the restaurant. "Since when does someone need an escort to take a _dump_?"

Eggman and Metal casually entered the restaurant and stopped just at the entrance. "All right, you know what to do?" Eggman whispered.

Metal didn't respond.

"Metal!" Eggman said in a harsh, low voice. "Pay attention, damn it! What are you doing?"

"Fuckin' looking at the menu!"

Eggman slapped his forehead. "We aren't here to order anything, idiot! Now follow my lead."

They both walked up to the only open register. The employee looked up to see Eggman leaning on the counter with Metal behind him. The man repeated his required phrase for the hundredth time that day. "Welcome to Jimmy's Tacos. Can I take your order?"

Eggman stood upright. "My order…is for you is to clear out of here."

"…Excuse me?"

Eggman turned back to Metal. "Metal? If you will…"

Inside the Egg Hummer, the others were getting impatient. Espio spoke for seemed like the first time in hours. "I wonder what's taking him so long?"

"He probably got his fat-ass stuck in the toilet," Sonic said.

Just as Sonic finished talking, a giant explosion was heard inside the restaurant as Metal came flying out with his jet-shoes on full thrust. He zoomed to the driver's side door, tore it open, and got in. The Egg Hummer was already pulling off when Eggman came running out, screaming. "_You asshole! Wait for me!"_ The rest of the gang looked out the window at Eggman as Metal only slowed down a little bit, just enough for Eggman to get the door open. He succeeded in getting the door open, but couldn't get in, as Metal started to speed the car up considerably. "_Slow down!_" Eggman screamed as he started to drag while hanging on to the door.

"_There's no time!_" Metal shouted, grinning.

Eggman somehow managed to get back on his feet as he screamed at the top of his lungs. "_You rusty piece of shit! Slow this car the fuck down!_"

Metal didn't hear him as the hummer neared an intersection and made a hard left into another street. "_AAAAHHHHHHH_!" Eggman lost his grip and was sent rolling across the intersection. The car (with its passenger door still open) sped up even more as the others looked out the back window with wide eyes to see Eggman already on his feet, chasing after the car while waving his arms, shouting, and cussing.

ooo

The Egg Hummer was parked a few blocks away from the restaurant and everyone was outside. Sonic could barely contain himself from laughing. "Where do you guys think Eggman is by now?" He turned to Metal, who was leaning on the car, sipping from his flask. "Nice."

Metal shrugged. "It's not my fault his ass can't run."

They didn't have long to talk, as a familiar voice rang out angrily. "You rotten piece of _fuck!_" Everybody turned to see Eggman running at full speed toward Metal. "I'm gonna fuckin' beat you_ cross-eyed!_" Metal instantly activated his jets and set himself down on top of the hummer, out of reach. Eggman went ballistic. "_Why in the FUCK didn't you slow down?_"

"I _said_ there was no time!" Metal sipped from his flask again. "The cops were chasing us."

Eggman jumped up and stomped the ground angrily. "_There WERE no fucking cops, goddamn it!_"

Metal didn't say anything. He just took another sip from his flask.

Eggman pointed menacingly at him. "Yeah, you better drink from that damn thing all you can, because your ass is getting dismantled _tonight!_"

Metal scoffed. "Man, you won't do shit."

After the argument, the group finally found an inn to stay at and rented out some rooms. Rouge and Amy had their own room, while Espio, Charmy, and Vector bunked together in their room. Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, Shadow, and Metal (Eggman didn't want him in his room) stayed in one room together. Tails and Shadow were lucky enough to get the only to beds in the room after playing a series of Rock, Paper, Scissors with the others. So Knuckles and Sonic were forced to get some sleeping bags and snooze on the floor. Metal Sonic, of course, just sat against a wall and shut himself down to recharge his internal batteries.

Just _one _day of the road trip had been complete and utter hell. Nobody could stand being around anybody else for long periods of time. But the Sonic Team had to do it. Maybe the next couple days would be nicer.

Hell no.

The next days proved to be some sort of unimaginable level _beyond_ hell. It was forty floors below hell. It was the sub-basement of hell. It was hell cubed.

Despite the constant bickering between Eggman and Metal, the harassment of Rouge by Knuckles, the fighting between Sonic (and Amy) and Shadow, a hyper-active Charmy only fueling said fights by his cheering, and Vector's loud music, the Sonic Team managed to pull through. In fact, the only ones who _weren't _causing trouble were Espio and Tails. They were the most quiet and well behaved out of anybody in the car.

ooo

It was just past 9 p.m. when the Egg Hummer pulled into the parking lot of the Rose Coliseum. They had finally made it. We they found a parking space and got out of the car, the Sonic Team admired the building that was the Rose Coliseum. It was a giant, spherical building that seemed to go around for miles. The center of the coliseum had to be the arena where the fights took place. Hundreds of windows dotted the outside of the building, which must have meant that it doubled as a hotel.

Tails read the invitation that came with the letter. "It says here that we need to register at the front desk first."

Espio looked up at the building. "We should hurry, before they close up registration."

Upon entering the building, the crew immediately found the front desk, to which a young woman looked up. "Yes?"

Tails handed her the invitation. "We're here to fight in the tournament."

She studied the invitation. "Ah! So you guys are the representatives of SEGA," she smiled. "The Super Smash Brothers have already checked in. You think you'll be ready?"

Eggman scoffed in the back. "Those bastards can kiss the fattest part of my ass."

Sonic put his hand on his hip. "Trust us. We're ready."

The woman typed rapidly on a nearby computer. "I'll enter you guys in the computer. In the meantime, I can have the bellhop show you to your rooms. Since you're fighters, they're free."

The Sonic Team flashed grins at one another.

They divided up their rooms the same way as before, except this time Metal was allowed to stay with Eggman. Everybody had been tired from the long drive, so they went straight to sleep. They were going to need their strength for tomorrow.

* * *

**Next Chapter: The Tournament Starts!**


	9. Gathering at the Coliseum

**_(A/N):_ From this chapter on until chapter fifteen, there will be "guest" characters making an appearance in this ficas spectators in the tournament. These characters' origins range from video games to animé to fan characters from various authors of this site. I've done this to add some comedic value outside of the tournament action, which will especially become apparent in the chapters "_A Short Intermission Pt. I_" and "_A Short Intermission Pt. II_". If you don't like it, tough nuts.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog or any related characters.

* * *

**

The morning sunlight poked through the windows as Vector sleepily turned in his bed away from the white shine.

"Bright ass son of a …"

Vector didn't care what time it was, he just wanted to get more precious sleep. Fate decided to toy with him that morning as he felt a slight weight on his covers. He slowly turned his head around and opened one eye. He was nearly scared shitless.

Charmy stared intently at him with his big eyes. "…Are you awake yet?"

Vector scooted back and leaned against the headboard. "Damn it, Charmy! What do you _want?_ How long have you been there?"

"…I'm hungry."

Vector could feel his blood pressure going up. Charmy had done this a few times before, and was starting to make a habit out of it. The reason of why Charmy only chose to wake _him_ up was still a mystery. Vector decided to try one of his 'stories'. "You know, crocodiles of my kind eat bees like you if they are provoked enough."

Charmy's eyes went off to the side for a moment, as if he was pondering something, then came back to Vector. "What does 'provoke' mean?"

"It means 'go to bed'."

Charmy put on his pouting face as he prepared to hit Vector with his secret weapon. "But _Veeec-tooor_!" he whined. "I'm hungry! I _can't_ sleep! I'm _hungry_!"

Vector slouched down. "Charmy, that's not going to work. I'm going back to sleep."

Charmy frowned. On to plan B. "No, you're not. I need _food_, Vec."

"No."

Plan B commenced as Charmy leaned closer to Vector's sleeping figure. "Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Am I annoying you? Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Are you sleeping? Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector. Vector." Charmy leaned even closer until he was right in the crocodile's ear. "Hey, Vec. I'm still hungry."

"All right! All right! I'm up!" Vector complained. "But if _I'm_ up, then _everybody's_ up." He grabbed his pillow and threw it at Espio, who was in the adjacent bed.

The chameleon raised his head up, looked at the pillow, then looked at Vector. "Pillow fights, Vector?" He shook his head. "_Very_ immature."

Vector rolled out of bed. "Wake up. We gotta feed the little vacuum over here."

ooo

Rouge stirred and glanced at her little wristwatch, which she had placed on the nightstand. Just past nine o'clock. She turned her head to Amy's bed, but didn't see anyone there. "…Amy?"

ooo

Metal Sonic's red eyes flashed to life as he activated himself for the new day. He stood up from his position against the wall and looked at Eggman, who was still sleeping. The robot went into the bathroom, grabbed the trashcan, and filled it with water from the bathtub faucet. He then took the can full of water to Eggman's bed and adjusted his voice modulator to low volume. "Hey, Eggman." Of course, the doctor didn't hear, so Metal shrugged and dumped the water on him, screaming: "_It's __tournament time, baby_!"

The door to Eggman's room burst open and Metal was thrown out by a pissed off Eggman. The door slammed shut as Metal shouted: _"I called you like ten times, but your fat ass wouldn't wake up!"_

ooo

The sunlight didn't even bother Tails as he slept. He was out cold. Knuckles was on the floor in a sleeping bag, but he didn't seem to be bothered at all. "I got thirty dollars," he muttered in his sleep, then flashed a perverted grin. "What you do for'em is up to you…"

Shadow was sprawled out on his bed, one shoe still on, Chaos Emerald in hand. Occasionally, he would snort and the words '_ultimate waffles_!' would escape his lips, followed by incoherent cussing.

Sonic was the first to open his eyes and wake up. He was in a big sleeping bag on the floor at the foot of Tails' bed. He immediately noticed that something was wrong. His sleeping bag was tight around him. The bag had been big enough when he went to bed the night before, so why was it so tight? Sonic, apparently, didn't know the imminent danger he was in, until he noticedthe white gloves around his waist. He laid there for perhaps five minutes as it slowly dawned on him. It couldn't be…

He slowly turned around to only to have Amy's smiling face shatter into his retinas. "Hiii, Sonikku!"

Alarms and sirens blared in Sonic's mind as he let out the most high pitched scream ever conceived by man. "_Crap on a crutch!_"

Amy drew closer to him. "Give me a kiss-kiss."

Sonic screamed again as he moved his feet as fast as he could to try and get out of the bag. But, since it was so tight around him, he only succeeded in sliding the sleeping bag itself across the floor and into the front of Tails' bed. "_Tails! Help!_" Sonic yelped. "_The pink gremlin has me! She's dragging me to the netherworld!_"

Tails groaned and turned over. "Aww, leave me alone, Sonic. I'm a growing boy. I need my rest."

Sonic then called to Shadow. "_Shadow! Wake up! Teleport her to the moon! Teleport her to the sun! DO SOMETHING!_"

Amy hugged him harder. "You should stop screaming. You'll wear yourself out."

Shadow awoke to see Sonic's sleeping bag on the floor, which was now just rotating in place from his frantic attempts to escape, with the blue hedgehog inside screaming his head off and Amy clinging beside him like duct tape. Shadow finally got up and unzipped the sleeping bag, to which Sonic promptly zoomed out and dove behind the bed in terror. Shadow glared at Sonic. "What the _hell_ is wrong with you?"

Sonic looked at Shadow with a mixture of menace and terror. "She was in_ bed_ with me, Shadow. She almost started the _apocalypse_, Shadow. Do you _know_ what the apocalypse is?"

"That doesn't explain why you had to wake me the shit _up_!"

Sonic raised himself up a little from behind the bed. "What I want to know is how the _fuck_ she got in here!"

Amy sat upright. "Knuckles let me in late last night."

Sonic's hand balled into a tight fist. Knuckles. It just had to be Knuckles. Sonic looked across the room to see Knuckles, sitting up and grinning at him. He stood up. "That's right, Sonic. I had to get your ass back for the fight in the Egg Hummer _and_ for the time you shot my damn CD!"

"You know what, Knuckles?" Sonic said, stretching his arm. "Fuck the Super Smash Bros.! It's about to be _Sega vs. Sega up in this bitch!_"

Sonic leaped over Shadow's bed and was about to do the same to Tails', but the little fox stopped Sonic short. "Can we _please_ not fight for _once_? You guys fight, like, every five minutes. We should get dressed, anyway. The others should be up by now."

Sonic crossed his arms. "Fine. I'll take a shower."

Sonic was just about to make his way to the bathroom when he caught Shadow staring at him. He knew what Shadow was thinking. In an instant, both hedgehogs were trying to squeeze themselves into the bathroom door. "I'm _older_!" Shadow griped."_I'm_ taking a shower first!"

Sonic had his hand in Shadow's face, trying to push him back. "Kiss my blue ass! _I'm_ goin' first!"

He managed to push Shadow out of the way and make it into the bathroom, slamming the door. Sonic slid the shower curtains back and started the shower. He then heard the door open and close with a faint locking sound. Sonic was trying to adjust the temperature of the water. "Get out of here, Shadow! What are you? Gay?"

Amy's voice came up behind him. "We can get dressed a lot faster if we shower _together_, Sonikku."

Knuckles and Shadow grinned at each other as Sonic's scream rang out from the bathroom.

After getting dressed, everybody got together and went to one of the many small restaurants that were in the coliseum. They had managed to get a row of tables that were next to each other and could fit everybody. One problem soon arose when Shadow looked at his menu and complained to the waiter. He held up his menu. "What do you see?"

The waiter scratched his head. "Uh, the menu?"

"Well, I'll tell you what I _don't _see. The waffles. Where are the_ waffles?_"

"I'm sorry, sir. But we don't serve waffles."

Shadow slammed the menu down. "_Don't serve waffles? _What the hell kind of place _is_ this?"

"I'm sorry," the waiter apologized again. "But you'll have to order something else."

"Fine." Shadow picked up his menu and then lowered it to glower at Sonic, who was leaning forward with one elbow on the table, staring at him. "_What?_"

Sonic grinned. "Why don't you order the _pancakes_, Shadow?" He put extra emphasis into 'pancakes'.

Shadow stood up and pointed menacingly at Sonic. "Not on your damn life! You hear me? Not on your damn_ life!_"

"Shadow, calm down," Tails tried to scold him, but it came out as more of a complaint.

Shadow stood firmly. "No, I will _not_ calm down! I want my waffles, damn it!"

After much protesting, Shadow finally got his waffles, thanks to one chef in the restaurant's kitchen who knew how to make them. Since Shadow's food had arrived so late, only Sonic remained with him until he was finished eating. The others went to look around the shops and things. Once Shadow was done, both he and Sonic agreed to catch up with the others. They had only taken a few steps from the restaurant when a voice stopped them. "Well, well, well. What have we got here?"

Both hedgehogs turned around to see a man clad in blue overalls and a red shirt. A thick, scruffy mustache obscured most of his upper lip. He wore a red hat with an 'M' on the front. What seemed to be a small, pink ball of something rested on his shoulder.

Sonic immediately got into his fighting stance. "Mario."

Mario smirked. "It looks like the infamous Sonic and Shadow have shown up, after all. My team and I were worried you wouldn't make it."

Shadow took out his Chaos Emerald. "Spare us the chit-chat. Tell us were Cream is. _Now._"

Mario held his hand up. "Let's not be too hasty, now. Your friend is perfectly fine. You will get her back _if_ you win the tournament."

Sonic took a step forward. "And what's to stop us from beatin' your ass where you stand?"

Mario didn't bat an eye as he pointed to his shoulder. "Him."

The hedgehogs watched as the pink ball seemed to come to life. It stood up on Mario's shoulder, only reaching a height of roughly two feet. Both of it's feet were red and it had stubby little arms. It trained its dark blue eyes on Sonic and Shadow. It was Sonic's turn to chuckle. "_That?_ What the hell _is_ that?"

"This is my friend, Kirby," Mario said.

Kirby pointed and laughed. "They're so ugly, Mario!"

Mario gave the hedgehogs a scrutinizing look. "Yeah. Ugly indeed."

Sonic waggled his finger at Mario. "Congratulations, bitch! You just won yourself an _ass kickin'_!"

Without warning, Sonic rushed at Mario. Kirby hopped down, grinned, and opened his mouth. Huge amounts of air began to flow into his mouth as he inhaled, expanding the pink puff ball's size to many times his original. Sonic cussed as he tried to turn around, but was pulled into Kirby's mouth. Shadow was about to make his move when Sonic was unexpectedly spit back out. He rolled to a stop next to Shadow and slowly got up. "What the hell just happened?"

Shadow was gawking at Kirby. "Look." Sonic lowered his gaze. Kirby now wore a small, blue hat. Blue quills came out from the hat just like Sonic's. He now wore shoes just like the ones Sonic had on, and even his eye color changed from blue to green.

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to be?" Sonic said scornfully. "That shit looks nothing like me."

Kirby smirked, _Sonic's_ smirk, and burst forward with amazing speed. Sonic was caught off guard as Kirby kicked him in the stomach. The momentum from the attack caused Sonic to fly some distance down the wide, empty corridor. Before Shadow could even react, Kirby was upon him and delivered a punch to his jaw. Shadow cried out in pain as he flew head first into a small clothing store.

Sonic struggled to get up as Mario called to him. "I truly hope you bastards will be better than this when the tournament starts. Your friend depends on you!" Mario and Kirby laughed to each other as they walked off.

ooo

Everybody was in Sonic's room when Sonic and Shadow walked in an hour later. Knuckles noticed they looked a little ragged. "What happened to _you _guys?"

Sonic clenched his fist. "We got our asses whooped by a _fucking ball of fluff!_"

Tails hopped off of the bed and examined Sonic. "Are you guys okay? Who did this to you?"

Sonic rubbed the sore spot on his stomach. "Those Nintendo freaks. It was Mario and some damn pink thing named Kirby."

Shadow sighed heavily. "Those guys may be tougher than we thought…"

The tournament was scheduled to start at one o'clock, so the Sonic Team prepared themselves for some heavy fighting. Apparently, seeing Sonic and Shadow's condition, the Super Smash Bros. were not to be taken lightly. They would have to be on their toes for this one.

As the start of the tournament grew near, more and more people began showing up. Along with the ordinary folks, other 'special' people were showing up as well. Maybe these people had their own reasons for attending the tournament.

ooo

A few blocks away from the Rose Coliseum, a limo cruised down the street. This was not any normal limousine, for this car housed an evil fighting champion hailing from South Town: Geese Howard. Geese had his feet up on the seat and was reading a newspaper. His son, Rock, was sitting in the seat across from him. He had no idea where they were going. His father just threw him in the limo.

Rock spoke up. "Dad, I-"

"Quiet, boy! I'm readin'."

Rock let out a frustrated sigh and crossed his arms. Geese studied the newspaper a bit longer. He was about six feet tall with slicked back blond hair. He wore a white vest that had long sleeves, which was tucked into his bright red hakama. Rock, on the other hand, was completely different from his father. He wore baggy blue jeans and a tight, black tank top with a red jacket.

Geese rubbed his chin. "Boy, you want to go to a tournament?"

Rock stared out the window. "No, not re-"

"Too bad! We're goin'."

"Damn it, Dad! I don't wanna!"

Geese lowered his newspaper and narrowed his eyes at Rock. "…You givin' me lip, boy?"

"No," Rock muttered.

A few blocks away, a man stood. He had a dark skin complexion and burnt orange hair. He wore dark purple fighting gi and no shoes. This was none other than Akuma, from the Street fighter games. He reading a poster in a store window. "Hmm… a tournament. Maybe I will find a true challenge there…"

ooo

Only fifteen minutes remained until the tournament started. What seemed like thousands of people were filling in the seats of the huge arena. Other famous people had come to watch the tournament as well. Fellow Cardcaptors Sakura Kinomoto and Li Shaoran sat down in their seats. Sakura surveyed the large arena. "You think Tomoyo will be angry with us because we didn't bring her along?"

Li gave a nonchalant shrug. "She's probably at home making up new outfits for you to wear." He frowned. "I sense something fishy about this tournament. Be on guard, Sakura. It could be another clow card."

"You always say that. You said that when we went to that Burger King half an hour ago."

Li tapped his sword. "Did you not_ see_ that hamburger meat move across the floor! Look me in the eye and _tell_ me that wasn't a clow card!"

Sakura sighed. "You're _way_ too serious…"

A woman entered through one of the many entrances for the spectators, trying to find her seat. She had short, silver-ish hair and wore a skin-tight purple outfit. She also wore gold plated armor on her left arm. This woman was Isabella Valentine or "Ivy", as she liked to be called, from Soul Calibur. Finding her seat was the least of her concerns. She could feel his presence. She knew he was hiding somewhere. "I know you are here somewhere, Nightmare…"

Even higher up in the arena, a man with snow white hair struggled to see. He had dog ears poking up from either side of his head. He wore a bright red robe and carried a sword in a sheath by his side. Inuyasha scowled. "Damn it, Kagome! I can't even see anything from up here."

Kagome, who was wearing her usual green and white school uniform, sat down in the seat next to his. "Calm down, Inuyasha. I can see just fine."

Miroku and Sango piped up beside them. "Yes, Inuyasha. Just sit back and relax." Miroku was wearing his usual blue robes, while Kagome had gotten Sango to wear some of the present era's clothes.

Inuyasha complained again. "I _still_ can't see!"

Kagome giggled beside him. "You think he needs glasses, Shippo?"

She held the little fox demon in her lap, who questioned. "Glasses?"

Inuyasha turned around. "Glasses? What the hell's that? Some kind of food?"

"Just come on, Inuyasha."

"No, screw that! I'm goin' closer."

Kagome sat calmly. "_Sit, boy!_"

Inuyasha instantly went face down on the stairs. "Damn you…"

A lone girl also waited for the tournament to start. She wasn't sitting down, but instead stood behind the railing of the highest seats. Most people who saw her thought she was a hedgehog, but she was actually a hybrid with a bird. She had quills with magenta colored streaks, which also ran down the lengths of her arms. Unlike a normal hedgehog, she had black, taloned bird feet and dull pink wings. Her eyes were teal, which gave her a unique look given the fact the rest of her body was darker colored. She wore blue, flared jeans and a white tube top. She decided to wear her blue jean jacket, just to match. Gold bracelets and anklets dangled loosely off of her body. They carried concealed blades in them just in case she needed to do some heavy fighting. Her name was Celestial, but people simply only knew her as 'Cel'. She wondered if this tournament would be any good…

ooo

Sonic stretched out his legs as the others prepared themselves with their weapons and accessories. They had been sent to their own locker room where they would get ready to fight. Tails was actually wearing a utility belt that housed various small weapons and gadgets, plus his trusty laser pistols. Knuckles had a perverted grin on his face as he watched Rouge practice her lightning fast kicks. He was then vaulted across the locker room for asking her to 'kick a little higher'. Shadow was just leaning against the far wall with his arms crossed and eyes closed. Amy had been trying to get close to Sonic, who was trying to get Metal to shoot one of his lasers at her. Eggman wasn't doing anything, but the rest of the team was sure he had tricks up his sleeve for combat. The Chaotix were running over their team formations, just in case the tournament wasn't going to be one-on-one.

Suddenly, the door to the locker room burst open and a young girl rushed in. She was a red hedgehog with black tips on the end of her quills. She wore tight black pants and a dark red top. "Sonic!" She squealed as she ran over and hugged him.

Amy instantly stood up and glared at Sonic. "Sonic, who is this girl?"

Sonic waved his hand. "Calm down. She my sister, Sonia."

The whole team let out noises of surprise.

"Since _when_ do you have a sister?" Shadow asked.

"Since none of your damn business. You people know nothing _of_ me."

Sonia waved. "Hi guys! I just came to wish you good luck!"

The locker room door flew open again and two guys came in. One of them pointed at Sonia. "Hey you! You're not allowed in here! You're comin' with us!"

"The damn I will!" Sonia rolled into a ball, imitated Sonic's spin maneuver, and rolled under the men's legs and out the door.

Knuckles stared at Sonic in disbelief. "You have a sister?"

"Yeah, so?"

"…You have a sister?"

"What the hell is wrong with me having a sister?" Sonic turned around to the others. "What the hell is wrong with me having a sister?" Everybody turned away from Sonic and pretended to do something else. "Hey! Don't you turn away from me! I asked you a question, damn it!"

Another man entered the door. "Sonic Team? Get ready to go out to the arena in a couple minutes."

They heard a voice boom outside on many speakers. It was the announcer. "Good day, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Rose Tournament! Long ago, there were two corporations. One was Sega, the other was Nintendo. These companies produced many popular mascots, but only one made it to the top of each corporation. Sega created the blue hedgehog who moves at lightning fast speeds: _Sonic the Hedgehog!_"

The crowd cheered as the announcer continued. "And Nintendo breathed life into the high jumping, brick breaking, coin collecting plumber: _Mario!_" The audience cheered even louder this time. "Over the years, both mascots have been joined by countless allies, as they fought evil whenever it reared its ugly head. Now, fate has brought them to the Rose Coliseum today to compete for which corporation is truly superior, Sega or Nintendo? Now, give it up for the _Sonic Team!_"

The whole arena shook and quaked with applause, screams, and whistles as the Sonic Team made their way into the center of the arena. Sonic and Shadow looked the most determined of all, because of their little scuffle with Mario and Kirby earlier. The announcer spun to the opposite side of the arena. "And now, lets hear it for the _Super Smash Brothers!_"

The Sonic Team finally had the chance to the full team of the Smash Bros. Mario came out first, followed by Kirby, the giant ape Donkey Kong, the beautiful Princess Peach, ace pilot Fox McCloud, the most popular pokemon Pikachu, the King of all Koopas: Bowser, dangerous bounty hunter Samus Aran, the two supreme swordsmen Marth and Roy, and last, but not least: 2-bit hero Mr. Game &Watch. It must have been a coincidence that the Smash Bros. had the same amount of fighters as the Sonic Team did.

"And now, I will explain the rules of the tournament," the announcer said. "The fights will be one on one. The combatants can use any type of weapon to take down their opponents. A fighter will lose if he or she either gets knocked out, or falls out of bounds outside the ring. If a fighter is knocked out, he or she will have until the count of ten to recover. If not, then that fighter loses the match. Also, to mix things up a bit, random weapons and items will fall from our item box from the ceiling."

The announcer pointed up to a huge, black box attached to the ceiling. There was a small hole on the bottom. "Competitors can use these items to their advantage, if they choose to. The first team to lose all of their fighters loses the tournament. Now, both teams will be given exactly five minutes to choose who will fight first."

Both teams huddled up to make their decisions.

In the crowds, people were talking and laughing amongst themselves. One person decided to be a jokester and yelled: "_Nintendo fucking sucks_!" His friends around him hooted with laughter and gave him high fives. What he didn't know, was that he alerted the presence of a girl a couple rows up. She got up from her seat, walked down, and tapped the guy on the shoulder. The guy, irritated, spun around to face not a human, but an echidna. Her fur was maroon is color and her eyes were bright yellow. She wore dusty green cargo pants and a shaded orange and green shirt to match. Clean, white shoes were on her feet. There was a black stripe running across the front of each shoe, which had a gray, metal plate on top. She also lugged a huge backpack on her shoulder. This girl was known as Cinder the Echidna. The guy sneered at her. "What the hell do you want?"

Cinder smiled at him. "Dove or Zest?"

"…What?"

"Dove or Zest?"

"…The hell are you talkin' about?"

"Would you prefer Irish Spring?"

"Damn it! I don't know, Zest."

Cinder reached around in her backpack, took out a small box, and opened it. It was a bar of soap. The guy started to say something else, but as soon as he did, Cinder plunged the soap in the guy's mouth and held it there. She smiled. "There. Now your mouth is 'Zestfully Clean'." She pointed to the rest of the guy's friends with her free hand. "I certainly hope I don't hear any one of you guys cussing around me, or you get the _soap!_" Muffled, angry screams came from the guy's mouth as he struggled to spit the soap out. Cinder waved a finger at the guy. "Are you protesting against the soap? _My_ soap?"

"_MMmmfff!_"

Cinder gave him a stern look. "Do I need to take you to _church_, young man? Get you baptized?"

The man feebly shook his head.

"Good."

Cinder started to release the soap, but suddenly waved a finger in front of the man's face when he tried to take the soap out of his mouth. "Hup, bup, bup!" The man tried to protest, but Cinder kept saying 'bup' to interrupt him. "You're going to keep that soap in your mouth for the rest of tournament." She pointed at him. "And I_ will_ be watching you."

A shout rang out above them. "_Sega kicks ass_!"

Cinder let go of the soap and hastily made her way up the stairs, stopping only to once again point menacingly at the guy with a strict look. She then continued up the stairs, shouting: "_Hey, you! Yeah, you! Dove or Zest?_"

In another part of the arena, master duelist Yugi Motou sat with his best friend, Jonouchi. They had come to the tournament in hopes of it seeing some fellow duelists, but no such luck. "Ah, well," Jonouchi sighed. "At least we'll get to see some folks beat the crap out of each other."

Yugi stared down at his Millennium Puzzle. "Aw, I was hoping Yami would be able to duel."

"Maybe he can!"

Yugi and Jonouchi spun around to face their nemesis, Seto Kaiba and his brother Mokuba. Jonouchi turned back around. "Give a rest, Kaiba. Your ass never wins."

Kaiba bent down next to Jonouchi. "_What?_ Stand your ass up so my Blue Eyes White Dragon can slap your ass back down!"

Yugi's Millennium Puzzle glowed as the pharaoh spirit inside it took over his body. Yami-Yugi stood up. "What business do you have here, Kaiba?" Yami demanded in his deep voice.

"My Blue Eyes wants to kick you in your damn throat! That's what!"

"Yeah! Get'm Seto!" Mokuba chimed in.

"Aww, isn't this special!" A voice came from behind them. "You've gathered together so I can kill you all at once!"

This time, the four boys spun around to see a boy with a dark skin complexion. His hair was blond and he wore a cloak. He was holding a gold staff, the Millennium Rod, in his hand. Yami held his fist up. "Marik! What are you doing here?"

Marik cackled. "We have a score to settle. Have you forgotten?"

"I defeated you already! Quit bein' gay!"

Marik pointed his Millennium Rod menacingly. "I have to disagree, Pharaoh! For it is _you_ who is 'gay'!"

Jonouchi finally stood up and turned around. "Sit on one, Marik! We're tryin' to watch the tournament!"

"Come up here and say that to my Millennium Rod, peon!"

Yami sighed. He _did_ want to duel somebody, anyway…

The announcer's voice boomed around the arena. "And the five minutes are up! Teams, please present your fighters!" The Sonic Team shouted encouragement to Charmy as he flew to the ring floor. He was going up against Pikachu. The young bee was a little nervous, but he couldn't choke. He was representing the Sonic Team.

The crowd hushed to silence as the announcer walked between Charmy and Pikachu. "And now to present the first match of the Rose Tournament: the stout stinger Charmy Bee versus Pikachu: the world's most popular pocket monster!"

Sonic clenched his fist as he saw Mario grin at him. The announcer raised his hand up and brought it down.

"_Fight_!"

* * *

**The first battle of the Rose Tournament is under way! What will be the outcome of the fight? Find out in the next chapter!**

**_(A/N): _By the way, the hakama that that the character Geese is described with in this chapter is a type of Japanese clothing that resembles a pleated skirt. They travel down from the waist to the feet, and are worn over a kimono.**


	10. Round One

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic.

* * *

**

The announcer brought his hand down. "_Fight_!"

Charmy immediately flew up into the air as Pikachu rushed toward him on all fours. Charmy breathed a sigh of relief. _Cool!_ he thought. _That ugly mo-fo won't be able to reach me up here._ The bee floated high above the ring floor as he pondered his attack.

"_Pi-Ka-CHU!_"

Electricity crackled from Pikachu's body as it shot up towards Charmy. He snapped to attention as he just barely dodged the stream of electrical energy. Floating in the air wasn't going to help him. He had act fast. More electricity shot up as Charmy dove right for the yellow mouse. Before Pikachu could attack again, Charmy plowed right into him with all his strength. Pikachu was sent tumbling for a couple seconds before he regained his fighting stance. Charmy smirked as he prepared for another tackle. This time he was going to sting the hell out of that ugly piece of shit. Just as Charmy took off, Pikachu disappeared.

"Where the hell did that thing go?"

Charmy turned a full 360, only to see Pikachu right in front of him when he returned to facing his original direction. The pocket monster grinned and pointed at him. "Pika-Pika."

"_Suck my stinger!_" Charmy shouted as his stinger propelled forward.

Pikachu, still pointing at Charmy, disappeared again before the stinger could reach him. A now frustrated Charmy looked around again, only to be hit from behind. Pikachu watched as the bee was sent sliding across the stone tiles of the ring floor. Charmy slowly got up and turned to face his opponent. That crap hurt.

Charmy braced himself as Pikachu raced toward him. The pocket monster was obviously using his 'Agility' technique to gain an advantage. His wings buzzed rapidly as Charmy attempted to move out of the way, but Pikachu proved too quick and tackled him again. This time, the force of the attack sent Charmy tumbling right to the edge of the ring. If he fell, he was going to lose.

"Charmy! Don't give up! You can do it!"

Charmy raised his head off of the floor. That was Vector. Other shouts of encouragement came from the rest of his teammates as Charmy slowly got up. If they hadn't given up on him, neither should he.

Charmy gathered his strength for another attack as he took off. This time, he could just barely make out Pikachu's figure as he sped to Charmy's left. It was the same attack over and over again. Charmy knew where to attack. He turned around and punched, just where Pikachu happened to appear. With a cry, the pokémon fell to the floor. Charmy was instantly on top of him, pummeling for all he was worth. Pikachu managed to get his arms up to protect him from the majority of the blows. Charmy growled and punched even harder. But he had apparently forgotten about one thing. Suddenly, Charmy's body was alive with electricity. He let go of Pikachu as he flew a few feet away. Pikachu rose and rubbed the sore spots were he had been punched. Charmy was on the ground trembling from the short burst of electricity that had been sent through him.

Pikachu looked up as an object fell from the giant item box on the ceiling. He knew he was going to win the battle when he saw what it was. Charmy slowly and shakily arose to his feet. The trembling had stopped. He had to attack Pikachu from long range if he hoped to win. He couldn't take another one of those electric shocks.

The announcer's voice boomed. "And Pikachu is the first to grab an item. It seems to be a pokéball!"

Charmy turned toward Pikachu. "A poké-_what?_"

"A pokéball," the announcer explained to the crowds. "…Is an item from the pokémon universe that the little monsters dwell in. Each ball in the tournament contains one monster. If Pikachu throws it, Charmy could be in real trouble!"

"Oh _hell_ no," Charmy said to himself as he charged toward Pikachu. "I'll be damned if I have to fight _two_ of these bastards!" He managed to reach Pikachu before he could throw the ball. The ball flew out of Pikachu's hands as he was knocked back by Charmy. Since he could easily fly, Charmy grabbed the pokéball out of mid-air and tossed it back up. The ball opened with a bright, blue flash of light and out came a huge rock like monster. It was long like a snake, but its body was made up of huge boulders connected to one other.

"Wow!" the announcer cried. "Charmy has called forth the rock pokémon Onix!"

The rock monster took Charmy up on its head as it turned to face Pikachu. Defensively, Pikachu jumped back as he glared at Onix and the grinning form of Charmy, who was flipping up two middle fingers. Pikachu's body glowed as he let loose a huge burst of electricity to try and bring down Onix and Charmy, but the rock monster brought his tail end of his body up to block the attack. Onix then brought his tail down and flung it sideways, hitting Pikachu and sending him flying out of the ring and into a wall. Pikachu hit the ground. Charmy had won.

The announcer brought his hand down and pointed to Charmy. "_And Charmy wins the match!_"

Cheers rose from all around the arena as Onix returned to his pokéball and Charmy flew to his teammates. Vector was the first to congratulate him. "All right, Charm! Way to show those bastards whose boss!"

Sonic had a big grin on his face as he pointed to Mario across the arena. "_Hey, Mario! How do you like this action_?" Sonic then proceeded to bust out one of his victory poses from his games, followed by 'The Moonwalk'.

Mario didn't say anything. Instead, he just smiled. _Nice job Sonic Team. I haven't the heart to tell you that was a warm up match…bitches._

"Nice job, Charmy," Espio complimented. "You kept your calm in battle. That is the key to victory."

Charmy shook his head. "I wasn't calm. I wanted to sting that bastard in his damn ear."

The announcer spoke into the mike. "Okay! Now, will the teams please choose their fighters for the next match?"

Fox McCloud and Tails stepped into the ring. Fox had his trademark laser blaster at his side while Tails had his mystical trusty 'belt o' utilities' hanging loosely at his waist. Tails was the perfect counter for anything Fox would throw. This match would decide who was the better fox.

The announcer stepped into the ring and stood near the fighters. "Now, we have our next match! The fearless ace pilot who flies through space and time to fight evil with his Starfox team: Fox McCloud! And, opposing him is Tails: the genius fox who is behind the Sonic Team's various gadgets and vehicles!"

Cheers and applause rose from the audience.

The announcer backed out of the ring and brought his hand down. "_Fight_!"

Fox sneered. "They sent a kid to fight me? What are you? Six?"

Tails, not the least bit afraid, put one hand on his hip. "For your information, I'm twelve. And I'm very smart for my age." Tails reached for his holster and pulled out his own laser blaster. "Smart like a damn _fox_!"

Fox jumped back as a blue shield surrounded him and deflected the laser shots that Tails fired. Fox smirked as the shield dissipated. "You'll have to do better than that, boy."

Growling, Tails rapidly fired more shots, only to have Fox counter with his shield. Tails stopped firing. His gun was having no effect. He would have to try something else. Before Tails had time to think, Fox had pulled out his own blaster and fired. However, Tails had his own shield on his arm that fanned out into a circular disc shape. With quick reflexes, he deflected every shot that Fox had fired at him. Fox holstered his gun as Tails lowered his shield and deactivated it. "You're pretty good, kid." Fox walked forward, then broke into a run. "…But I'm better!"

Tails jumped back into his fighting stance as the two began to exchange blows. Tails was doing good at first. He even managed to get a couple hits in, but Fox's attacks were quicker, and he soon began to gain the upper hand. "You may have the brains of an adult, but you sure don't have the stamina of one," Fox said before he knocked Tails to the floor.

"And Tails goes down!" the announcer cried excitedly. "Fox seems to be in complete control of this match!"

Tails had a plan. He rolled away from Fox and quickly got to his feet. Fox watched him and started to glow. "Let's see how you deal with my 'Fire Fox' technique!" he shouted as fire started to surround him. Tails reached into one of the compartments on his belt and pulled out some small, spherical objects.

_"Hyaah!"_ Fox shouted again as he burst forward in flames toward Tails. Tails smiled and threw the objects to the floor. White smoke poured out of them when they hit the ground, surprisingly engulfing the entire ring in only a few seconds.

The announcer frantically looked around. "My goodness! It seems that Tails has released some kind of smoke bombs! I-I can't see a thing!"

The flames died down around Fox as he stopped short. "Cheap tricks. Where the hell did he go?"

Sonic tried his best to see inside the thick smoke, but he couldn't see a damn thing. "Tails, what are you planning?" He noticed that the smoke had covered the entire ring. "There's no way those little ass things can hold that much smoke."

Fox stood still. He couldn't even see the floor underneath his feet. His head suddenly snapped to his left as the image of Tails came into view. Fox smiled slyly and began to flare up. "Got your ass."

Flames smothering him, Fox lunged at Tails, only to have the younger fox move out of the way. Fox turned and dashed again. Tails dodged easily. Fox was getting pissed. _"Why can't I hit you?"_

Putting all his strength into his attack., Fox repeated his technique. He flew much faster this time, giving Tails virtually no time to dodge. Fox's grin was cut short as he passed right _through_ Tails and landed on his feet. The smoke started to fade away as Fox turned around to face his opponent. Tails was still standing there, facing the other way. The problem was that he was on higher ground. Then that meant…

Fox looked down. He was standing outside the ring. "Damn it!"

The smoke had faded away enough so that everybody could see the ring. Fox looked up to see Tails fade away and the _real_ Tails walk up behind it. He grinned and as he tapped a camera-like object on the side of his belt. "Holographic projector."

Fox sighed in defeat. "Tricked by a kid…"

"And Tails wins the match!" the announcer's voice came.

Sonic slapped Tails a high five once he walked back to his teammates. "That's my little buddy! Way to kick ass for the _team_!"

"Hmm. Two to zero," Shadow said. "We're doing good so far."

Eggman pushed his dark glasses up on his nose. "We're winning this shit. Just like I knew we would. Isn't that right, Metal?"

No response.

"Metal!" Eggman turned around to find Metal laid out on the ground, asleep. Eggman walked over and kicked the robot for all he was worth. _"Wake your ass up! This is no time for sleeping!"_

Metal's red eyes fazed back into view as he got up, glaring at his creator. _"What the fuck are you trying to do? You almost crushed me with your fat-ass foot!"_

"And now," the announcer' voice came. "For the next match! Teams, please choose your fighters!"

Knuckles and Donkey Kong stepped into the ring. The echidna pointed at the giant ape. "You think you have a better rap crew than _me?_ You're _wrong_, buddy! Time for your ass to have some S_hovel Claw_ for breakfast!"

The only reply was a bunch of loud monkey type sound and a beating of chest.

The announcer entered the ring. "Okay! Now, we have the giant ape who protects his home of Congo jungle and wears a hip red tie while doing it. He prefers to go by the nickname 'D.K.' He's Donkey Kong!" Cheers came from all around. "And, he's the protector of Angel Island and the Master Emerald: Knuckles 'Da Knux Man' Echidna!" Knuckles raised his fist up as the cheers came and pointed at Rouge, grinning.

Rouge sighed and shook her head. "I can't believe he actually got the announcer to say 'Da Knux Man'…"

"_Fight_!"

Knuckles and D.K. ran forward and started grappling with each other. Punches, kicks, and insults were exchanged (from Knuckles, at least) while everybody watched the brawl. This went on for about five minutes straight until something dropped out of the item box. D.K. quickly pushed Knuckles back and caught the item with both hands. It was a giant, empty banana peel.

Knuckles looked up at the peel, then back at D.K. "What the hell are you gonna to do with that? Throw it at me?"

D.K. grinned and nodded, then threw the peel at Knuckles, fully catching him in the face with it. The echidna went down, cussing like a madman.

Rouge slapped her forehead. "Knuckles, you _ass_. If you _knew _he was going to throw it at you, then you should've been able to _dodge_ it!" She looked up at Knuckles, who was rolling around the ring wrestling fiercely with the banana as if it had some kind of death grip on him, which it didn't.

Knuckles yelped as the humongous fruit suddenly exploded, sending the echidna across the ring. Knuckles instantly got up, took a step, and fell back down. "Ow! What the damn?" He realized that the whole ring was covered in smaller banana peels. D.K. seemed to have no problem walking on the banana peels, as he calmly strutted over and started whaling on Knuckles. The force of the attacks sent the echidna sliding back across the ring. He tried to get up, but comically fell back down.

Sonic couldn't take any more of this. "Knuckles, you idiot!" he shouted. "Use your damn Shovel Claws!"

Knuckles turned and glared at Sonic. "My mama's _craw?_ You talkin' smack, bitch?"

"Shovel Claw, dumb ass! _Shovel Claw_!"

"Oh!"

Knuckles crouched down and dug his fists into the floor. D.K. came at him with a hard punch, but Knuckles ducked and countered with his hardest kick to the ape's stomach. Since he had his fists in the ground to keep him from sliding, Knuckles didn't move at all. D.K., however, was knocked to the floor and slid across and out of the ring.

"_And Knuckles wins the match!_"

Knuckles stood up to raise his fist in victory, but fell and slid all the way back to his teammates. Knuckles, who was covered in banana peels and mush, grinned up at Rouge from his spot on the floor. "Hey, how about a little victory kiss from my _woman_?"

"How about a victory _kick_ from my iron-tipped boot?" Rouge kicked Knuckles in the stomach. The echidna flew over to where Sonic was standing and got up, trying to pick off the banana peels.

"Uh, little help?"

Sonic stared at him in disgust. "Man, I ain't touchin' that shit!"

The announcer walked to the center of the ring. "Okay! That ends our first round, ladies and gentlemen! We will take a thirty minute break to let our fighters rest and strategize! In the meantime, visit our snack bar to satisfy those cravings you worked up watching aaaallllll this action!"

ooo

A tournament reporter stood outside the Smash Bros. locker room. She turned to the cameraman who waited behind her. "You ready?" The cameraman nodded as they stepped in.

The camera focused on Mario as the reporter asked her question. "Mr. Mario, your team has suffered _three_ straight looses to the Sonic Team. What are your comments?"

Mario smiled into the camera. "Well...Dianne, is it? Well, Dianne, I would just like to say that those matches were just warm ups. We have yet to show the Sonic Team what we're _truly_ capable of."

Dianne turned to face the camera. "There you have it. Big words from a big star."

The camera turned off, then turned back on. Dianne was now standing in front of the Sonic Team's locker room. "Hi, this is Dianne Oakwood, about to talk to the team who won three straight matches." She whispered to the cameraman. "Get ready for this one, Steve. These people like to cuss." The cameraman nodded as they stepped inside the locker room. Everybody was cheering for themselves and hooting and laughing. Dianne walked up to Sonic. "Excuse me, Mr. Hedgehog…"

"Call me Sonic."

"Okay, Sonic. How do you feel about the team winning all of its first round matches?"

Sonic grinned into the camera. "We knew we were going to win." Sonic held up his thumb and pointed it down. "You're goin' down, Mario! Waaaaaaaay down!"

Sonic's face was then blocked by Knuckles, who popped in from the side, shouting: "_Down to the ground, baby!_"

Sonic shoved Knuckles out of the way. "Move, damn it! I'm talkin'!"

"Man, _fuck _you!"

"_What?_"Sonic, forgetting about his interview, tackled Knuckles to the ground.

"Uuhhh…," Dianne's voice was heard as Metal walked in front of the camera. "Hey, Metal Sonic!" Dianne called to him. "What do you think about the team's victories so far?"

Metal stood in front of the camera and sipped from his flask. "It's cool. I mean, none of us would even _be_ here if it wasn't for _me_. I drove us down here." Metal pointed to himself. "It's all because of _Metal_!" he shouted. "_Metal-motherfucking-__Sonic_!"

"_What?_" Eggman's voice came as the doctor walked on camera. "You didn't do crap!" Eggman turned toward the camera and smiled politely. "It was because of me that we got down here. _I _built the car that we rode in!"

"This fat fuck just sat back ate food the whole time!" Metal shouted from behind Eggman.

The camera focused on the Eggman as he turned around menacingly and started cussing Metal out. "_You rusty piece of ass__! I'll chop your mechanical nuts __off and shove them down your goddamn __throat_!"

Metal exploded. "_You motherfucking pussy-choking, goat-sucking, nut-knocking, dick-munching, fudge-packing, monkey-spanking, gay son of a punk-bitch!_"

Dianne stared, amazed,at the scene for a moment, then turned to the cameraman. "Steve, let's get out of here. I can't take this shit any more…"

ooo

Elsewhere, Ivy Valentine walked to the concession stands, not because she was hungry, because of _him_. She was walking past the people waiting in line when she passed an extremely tall black demon. He was covered completely in black armor and wore a helmet. He had long red hair and carried a huge sword that had a gigantic eyeball in the center. Ivy stopped and backed up a couple steps. "Nightmare."

The demon Nightmare didn't answer.

Ivy, getting slightly pissed, called again. "Nightmare!"

Nightmare turned his head the other way and pretended not to hear her.

Ivy, now fully pissed, shouted: "_Nightmare! I know you hear me, goddamn it!_"

An irritated Nightmare turned around. "What?"

Ivy extended her hand. "Give me the shards of the Soul Edge."

"Don't have'em."

"Then who _does_?"

"You know Link, from Nintendo? He has'em. Go annoy him."

Ivy withdrew her snake-like sword, 'Valentine', and pointed at Nightmare. "Bullshit. I know you have them. Now gimme."

Nightmare, who was still standing casually in the food line, scoffed. "No! Find your own!"

Ivy's sword extended into many segments with sharp spikes on either side. "_I said give them to me!_"

Nightmare, as big as he was, chose not to withdraw his sword, the Soul Edge, but instead opted to run away. Ivy pushed through random people as she gave chase. "God! Why do they always _run?_"

ooo

Li and Sakura were walking around, trying to find the concession stands. Sakura sighed. "Li, we'll never find it if we keep following _your_ sense of direction."

Li was walking ahead looking around. "We aren't looking for the concession stands, Sakura. We are looking for that clow card."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Are you _still_ on that?"

Suddenly, Li pointed. "Look! You see! There it is!"

Sakura instinctively grabbed her clow key that she wore around her neck, preparing to battle, then stopped. "Li, that's not a clow card. That's Kirby." Kirby walked past and waved at them.

Li let out a nervous laugh. "But, uh…he was turning into one!" Sakura just sighed.

ooo

Yami-Yugi and Jonouchi still sat in their seats. "Hey Yug. I think we should get something to eat. My stomach's eatin' itself over here."

Yami surveyed the arena. A lot of people were gone. "Okay, let's go."

Before he got up, Yami decided to look behind him. Kaiba and Mokuba were gone for the moment, but unfortunately, Marik was still there, sitting two rows up. He had one of his insane grins on his face as he stared at Yami. Marik had also been threatening people with his Millennium Rod by pointing it at anybody who passed him. That insane grin stayed on Marik's face as he pointed at Yami. "I see you, Pharaoh! My Egyptian God Card wants your ass!"

"Nah, I don't feel like dueling anymore," Yami said as he and Jonouchi got up.

"Fools! You think you can _run_ from the _Millennium Rod?_" Marik pointed the staff menacingly at the boys as they made their way up the aisle "You _will_ bring me some nachos!" he commanded after them.

ooo

Snores came from Inuyasha's mouth as he slumped down in his seat, sleeping. Kagome nudged him. "Inuyasha, wake up!"

Inuyasha immediately stood up and whipped out his sword, the Tetsusaiga, and swung it around blindly. "_Koga! I'll kill you!_" He was talking in his sleep.

"Sit, boy!" Kagome commanded.

The dog demon went down hard. Inuyasha laid there for a moment then got up in a rage. "Kagome! What'd you do that for? I was sleepin'!"

"Come on! We're getting food!"

ooo

Cel stood in her same spot at the very top of the arena . "Hmm, those were some pretty good fights." she said to herself. Dread hit her heart as she laid eyes upon one purple echidna running up and down the aisles flinging bars of soap at random people. _Oh, God,_ she thought. _It's Cinder. What is she doing here?_ Cel crouched down, nearly out of sight, pleading to herself. "Please don't let her see me. Please don't let her see me. Please don't let-"

"_Hey, Celly!_"

Cel was startled to suddenly find Cinder standing right _by_ her. Cinder bit off a bar of soap and held it in front of Cel. "Soap?"

"No…thanks." Cel stood up and sighed. "What are you doing here, Cinder?"

Cinder giggled. "Looking for you!"

"Any chance you'll go away?"

Cinder was unfazed by the insult. "Nope!"

Cel leaned down and started to slowly bang her head on the railing in frustration. Cinder waved the soap in front of Cel. "What's the matter? Depressed? A little _soap_ will cheer you up!" Cel looked up at her friend for a moment, then continued to bang her head softly on the railing.

ooo

Sonic was preparing himself for the second round. The battles seemed easy so far, but they would be sure to get harder. Suddenly, through the open locker room door, Sonic saw his sister run past. "Hi, bro! Bye, bro!" She waved to him as she passed with the guards still chasing her. Sonic stared.

Knuckles sat next to him, watching. "…_You_ have a _sister?_"

"_What the fuck is wrong with me having a sister_?"

* * *

**The Sonic Team has won their first three battles. But what's in store for them in Round 2?**


	11. A Short Intermission

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this story.

* * *

**

The young hedgehog Sonia sped down the corridor as fast as her legs would take her. She had managed to successfully evade those dumb ass security guards for over an hour now, but they were _still _looking for her. Damn, they were persistent!

"There she is!"a voice reverberated from up the hall.

"Crap…," Sonia muttered as she rounded a corner, also tipping over a trash can to slow the guards down. A sly smile appeared on her face when she heard a frustrated cry some distance behind her. Sonia glanced quickly behind her to see that one of the guards had tripped over the fallen trash can.

The guard who was now on the ground had his face twisted in agony. His partner looked down to him. "Man, get your ass up. You ain't hurt."

"Go to hell! I think I broke a butt cheek!"

Sonia snickered as she rounded another corner. As she ran, a nearby door opened and someone snatched her inside. The red hedgehog attempted to scream, but her temporary kidnapper held a hand over her mouth. The door to the room clicked shut just as the rapid foot steps of the security charged past. The hand over Sonia's mouth slid off as a familiar voice came. "Please tell me you weren't running from those bastards."

Sonia whirled around to come face to face with an echidna. The red hedgehog's jaw dropped. "Akira! What are you doing here?"

Akira the Echidna had on faded blue jeans with a green shirt. Her dreads were a mixture of purple and red and she wore a bandana similar to a certain _Metal Gear Solid_ hero.

Akira brushed off her jeans. "I was looking for you." She paused, then added: "…And Rouge."

Yes, the both of them despised Rouge the Bat because she had a thing going on with Knuckles. Sonia and Akira had _thought_ that they made it clear that _nobody _was to touch Knuckles without _their_ say-so. Sonia smoothed out her black dress. "Those guards are still out there, you know."

Akira shrugged. "I guess we'll just have to kick a little ass, won't we?"

ooo

Yami and Jonouchi made their way back to their seats. Yami himself only carried a hot dog and a soda, but Jonouchi was loaded down with some nachos, a foot long hot dog, and a big ass forty-ounce soda. He smiled in delight at all the glorious food he was about to partake. "Behold, Yug. The food of _kings_!"

Yami sipped from his soda and stared uneasily at the food. "You're going to make yourself sick from all that food."

"No, I'm not," Jonouchi suddenly stopped abruptly.

"What's wrong?"

Jonouchi pointed to Marik, who was still sitting in his seat. He wasn't paying any attention to them, but rather threatening some of the people next to him with his Millennium Rod.

"Let's just try to sneak past him," Jonouchi whispered. Yami nodded. The two walked slowly down the aisle, not making any noise. Then, as if on cue, Marik spun around and pointed the rod at the boys. He didn't say anything, but kept the golden staff directed at the two duelists. They sighed as they made their way to the seats, with the Millennium Rod following their every move. When they sat down, the end of the staff struck between Yami and Jonouchi's seats.

They both turned around to see Marik leaning over the other row of seats to reach the boys. "Where are my_ nachos?_" he demanded in his scary voice.

"Goin' down my stomach!" was Jonouchi's reply.

Marik's eyes widened. He looked as if he had just been greatly insulted."_Fools!_ Let's see if you will still enjoy your nachos after you have a little dialogue with my _Winged Dragon of Ra_!"

Marik's staff was instantly slapped aside as Kaiba and Mokuba returned to their seats. "Move your fucked up hockey stick out of my way, Marik!" Kaiba commanded as he and Mokuba sat down.

Marik was shocked. "_What did you say?_" he boomed. "You dare to give _me_ orders? How would youlike some frequent flyer miles to the S_hadow Realm?_"

Kaiba ignored him as he took out his _Duel Monsters_ cards, leaned forward, and held them in front of Yami's face. Yami looked down to see Kaiba flip up his Blue Eyes White Dragon card. "My Blue Eyes needs to be fed, Yugi!…With your _ass_!"

Yami sighed.

ooo

Cel stood at the top of the arena. Much to her disappointment, Cinder was still there with her, and was not leaving her alone. "Cinder, for the last time, I don't want_ soap_!"

Cinder waved a half eaten bar of soap in front of Cel. "C'mon, it's good! It tastes like white chocolate!"

"No!"

Cinder pouted. "You're no fun!"

"Look," Cel explained. "I'm not about to be going to any hospital to have my stomach pumped because of you, okay? No thank you."

"_There_ you guys are!"

Cel and Cinder's argument were suddenly interrupted by a shrill voice. Both girls turned their head to see an icy blue colored hedgehog running toward them. She had black streaks in her quills and thin white streaks to border the black. Black streaks also ran down the lengths of her arms and legs. She wore a white T-shirt and black jeans with some white _Converse_ sneakers to match. She had sapphire colored eyes and black and silver bracelets on her wrists.

She came to a stop in front of the girls and pointed at them. _"Where have you been?"_

Cel turned back to the arena. "We've been here the whole time. I thought we told you we would be here."

The hedgehog's sapphire eyes seemed to darken into a navy blue as she narrowed her eyes at Cel. "Who do you think you're talking to? In case you might have forgotten, I'm _Silhouette_: the _leader_ of our team! And in _Team Flash_, insubordination will not be tolerated! Did you forget that, Cel? Did you? _Did you? **Did you?**_"

"No."

"All right then," Silhouette calmed down, but she wasn't done yet. "Now, why didn't you guys wake me up this morning? Or fix breakfast?"

Cinder held the bar of soap in front of Silhouette. "You looked so peaceful, we didn't want to wake our Silly-Willy!"

"What have I said about calling me that in public?"

Silhouette snatched the bar of soap from Cinder. "And quit eatin' that soap." She held the bar out of Cinder's reach. "Cel."

"What?"

"What about my breakfast? You were supposed to make Hot Pockets, but yet when I came down to the kitchen, I saw _none_! Where were my Hot Pockets, Cel? Where were my Hot Pockets?"

"I freakin' left them in the oven!"

Silhouette lowered the bar of soap as her cheeks turned red. "Oh. Well, uh, _they better be hot when we get home_!"

ooo

Elsewhere, Ivy had somehow managed to lose Nightmare. She angrily kicked a discarded soda can on the ground. She didn't even know someone was behind her until she was tapped on the shoulder. She whirled around, whipping out her weapon. "Nightmare, you mother--huh?"

"Woah, woah, easy there."

Ivy and a grinning Miroku stood a few feet from each other. The monk bowed politely. "Good day. I am called Miroku. I couldn't help overhearing that you were chasing down a demon."

Ivy lowered her weapon. "Yeah, how did you know?"

Miroku flashed one of his dazzling smiles. "I myself specialize in exorcising ghosts and demons…at a price."

'Valentine' was put back into its sheath as Ivy rubbed her chin. "Perhaps I could use your help. Nightmare can be one tough bastard. Name your price." This was where Ivy had made her mistake.

Miroku's expression turned deadly serious as he walked forward. "I need not money, but you can do me a favor."

"What's that?"

Miroku took Ivy's hands and cupped them in his own. "Would you bear my children?" The monk suddenly found himself staring face to face with the soda can on the ground, a bright red handprint on his cheek.

ooo

Even though the tournament had started a while ago, two people had just arrived and where looking for their seats. The younger of the two pointed to two empty seats. "Look, Dad! They're right there."

Geese and Rock Howard had finally made it to the Rose Coliseum. They sat down in two seats that were at the end of their row. Geese leaned back in the seat and crossed his arms. "All right, boy. Want my popcorn, want my nachos, want my porno mags. Get'em."

Rock brushed off his red jacket. "Dad, there's no porno."

"What? What the fuck kind of Playboy Convention is this?"

Rock let out an exasperated sigh. "This isn't a Playboy Convention. This is a tournament, remember? The one _you_ dragged us to?"

Geese scoffed. "That doesn't sound like something _I'd_ want to do."

But then, that's when Geese laid eyes upon the mysterious Akuma, who was sitting a few rows down. Not only that, but Geese's nemesis Terry Bogard was also in the distance, sitting much further to the left of Akuma. Geese grinned evilly. Maybe this tournament was worth not having porno magazines after all…

ooo

Rouge walked down one of the corridors of the giant coliseum. Sonic and the others were acting like complete dumb-asses in the locker room, so she decided to look around a bit. She wondered why nobody was around. She was about to get an answer. A feminine voice spoke behind her. "Excuse me, little missy. Where do you think you're going?"

Rouge turned her head and did a double take when she saw who it was. "You guys!"

Sonia and Akira stared back at her in their newly 'acquired' security attire. Sonia still wore her dress, but now donned an oversized beige jacket with 'SECURITY' on the back in bold letters. Akira, however, had the whole ensemble. She wore the jacket, the pants, and the combat-like boots. She also wore a utility belt complete with gun holster (but no gun). And, to complete the outfit, she even wore some cop- like shades and was expertly twirling a big ass riot baton. She did not look happy.

Rouge backed up a couple steps. "What are you guys doing here?"

Neither Sonia or Akira answered her question, but rather Akira stated: "You're in a restricted area."

Rouge didn't care about the little game they were playing. "So?"

Akira and Sonia exchanged hardened glances at each other, then turned back to Rouge. "_So_, you have to come with us, because we're the goddamn security up around here," Sonia said flatly.

"And, _because_ we're security, that means we have the right to club your ass if you give us any trouble," Akira added, now tapping the baton in her hand.

Rouge crossed her arms. "You guys won't club _shit._"

Akira lowered her shades and glared at Rouge with piercing eyes. "Wrong move, bat."

"There they are!"

The three girls looked to see about four security guards running down the hallway. Akira pointed her nightstick at Rouge. "You got lucky." Then, she and Sonia took off down the hallway away from the guards.

ooo

The crowds started to cheer as the announcer came out and walked up to the microphone positioned in the middle of the ring. "All right folks, I hope you got a lot of food, because round two is about to begin!"

* * *

**Round two of the tournament will begin next chapter!**


	12. Round Two

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic. **

* * *

The crowds cheered as the Sonic Team and the Super Smash Bros. walked out into the arena. Sonic had his trademark 'smirk of confidence' plastered on his face. He was also lightly contending with Shadow, who repeatedly tried to step in front of Sonic and take all the glory. Sonic pushed Shadow aside. "Quit it! _I'm_ the leader of this bitch!" 

Shadow pushed him right back. "The hell you are! I'm _oldest_! _I'm _leader!"

"Motherfucker!"

The two hedgehogs were instantly on the ground, attempting to beat the living damn out of each other. Charmy hovered higher to see the fight, yelling his habitual phrase of 'Yeah, kick him in the _nuts_!'.

Mario and his team stood on the opposite side of the arena. He shook his head. "…And they're supposed to be a _team_?" He lowered his eyes. "This time around, you'll lose."

The announcer took his place in the center of the ring. "All right! Let's get started with round two! Teams, please choose your fighters!"

Sonic and Shadow growled when they saw who stepped into the ring first, Kirby. He was smiling cutely as cheers rose from the crowds. Shadow glared at Kirby wearily. "They're sending that little runt in already? Mario must be desperate." Sonic agreed as he recalled how he and Shadow had been beaten so quickly by Kirby. That little pink thing was _not _to be taken lightly. Shadow started toward the ring. "That little bastard is _mine_."

"Wait!" Sonic held an arm in front of Shadow.

"What the f-" Shadow stopped mid-cuss to see a big grin spread across Sonic's face as he looked toward the ring. Apparently, this was another one of the many opportunities that Sonic had to turn the tables on his 'Hell Day' nemesis. He loved it when this happened. He grin widened to show his teeth. Shadow followed Sonic's gaze toward the ring and saw that Amy had designated this fight as her own. She clearly did not know the perils she had just stepped into, and Sonic was determined to keep it that way. Shadow shook his head. "Sometimes you can be more evil than me. You're just going to _let_ the loud one fight Kirby?"

Sonic's grin was replaced with a fake look of concern. "Oh, I'm sorry, Shadow. You know the rules: once you step into the ring, you have to fight." He shrugged and snorted. "Oh, well!"

The announcer prepared to introduce the fighters. He pointed to Amy first. "Now we have Amy Rose. She's Sonic the Hedgehog's self proclaimed girlfriend. She may seem petite, but beware, she swings a _mean_ hammer." He pointed to Kirby. "And over here, we have the hero and savior of his home planet Pop-Star! He uses his ability to inhale enemies and steal their powers to his advantage. He's Kirby!" The announcer backed out of the ring and chopped his hand down in traditional fashion. "_Fight_!"

"I'll make my Sonikku proud of me!" Amy declared as she whipped out her Piko-Piko Hammer and brought it up over her head. Kirby kept his cutesy smile and dodged Amy's hammer at the last second when she attempted to smash him with it. Amy made several more attempts to crush Kirby into a pink pancake, but they all failed. Kirby grinned as he watched Amy rear back to try and catch her breath. His plan was simple. Simply let the girl tire herself out, and then Kirby would go on the offensive. He admitted that Amy was pretty powerful with that hammer of hers, but the way she swung it around so blindly proved that she was inexperienced. Amy growled and charged at the little warrior again. This time, Kirby used both of his hands to catch the hammer and hold on to it. Amy held on to the other end and tried to pull it back. "Let _go_!"

"Fine." Kirby let the hammer go, but opened his mouth and began to inhale.

Shadow's eyes widened. He was using that technique again. "Amy! Look_ out_!"

Sonic stood next to him, still grinning. "Yes, Amy. Please, oh _please_ look out."

"What are you-" Amy struggled to pull her beloved hammer from the intense vacuum that Kirby was creating. A few seconds later, the hammer slipped out of Amy's grasp and disappeared into Kirby's mouth. He swallowed. Amy stared in disbelief. "What did you do to my hammer?" Kirby answered by raising his right arm. A hammer began to materialize in his hand. But, it was not Amy's hammer. This hammer was Kirby's own special weapon. It was roughly the same size as Amy's weapon, but was made out of some type of strong wood. The shape of a large star was also etched into the mallet.

The cute, bubbly smile disappeared from Kirby's face as he held the hammer back like a baseball bat. "Whoops. Where'd _your_ hammer go?" Amy backed up a couple steps. What was she going to do now?

Sonic shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. He turned to the others. "Anybody want some?"

Amy frantically tried to dodge as Kirby lunged forward, swinging his hammer expertly. She cried out in pain as the hammer struck her side. Before she could recover, Kirby suddenly swung the hammer low and tripped her up. Amy fell to the floor with a soft thud. She stared straight up to see Kirby already in the air, ready to come down upon her with his hammer. The hedgehog was able to roll out of the way just in time before the hammer struck the floor, sending small pieces of the tiles flying up in the air. Amy suddenly spun around on her hands and knees and delivered her hardest kick to Kirby's side. The little warrior was completely taken by surprise by the attack as he flew a small distance across the ring.

The Sonic Team, sans Sonic, all cheered. "Show'em what us girls are made of!" Rouge shouted.

Sonic stared sullenly at the ongoing fight. "Yay, Amy."

Amy tried to get to her feet, but the severely sharp pain in her side where Kirby had hit her made her fall back to the floor. She turned her head to see that Kirby was already back on his feet and walking slowly toward her. His face was expressionless. Amy's mind raced. She actually managed to make it to her feet this time. A loud clanking sound was heard form above the fighters. They both looked up to see an object fall from the giant black box above the ring. It seemed to be yet another hammer. This hammer, however, had a big, metal mallet attached to it. It clattered to the floor. Kirby's eyes widened in terror. Amy studied him. Judging by the look on his face, that hammer apparently could do some real damage. Without thinking a second time, Amy dashed for the hammer. Since she was much taller than Kirby, Amy had a longer and faster stride. She was able to make it to the hammer first.

"No!" Kirby skidded to a stop.

Amy picked up the hammer with both hands. It glowed faintly for a second, then propelled itself downward. Amy gasped as she suddenly lost all control over her body. She tried to let the hammer go, but couldn't. The weapon lifted itself up again and brought itself down, much faster this time. The speed began to increase as the process continued.

"Amy has grabbed hold of the infamous Super Hammer!" the announcer exclaimed. "Any Mario fans out there will recognize this weapon from one of his first games! Once the user grabs the hammer, all control is lost over the upper body and is forced to smash the hammer down over and over until it runs out of power."

_Did he say only the upper body?_ Amy thought. _Then that means…_ Amy then realized that she was able to move her feet freely. A bead of sweat rolled down Kirby head as he watched Amy slowly but surely make her way toward him, even though she was constantly whipping the hammer down. Kirby suddenly held his hammer up in front of him for defense as Amy unexpectedly jumped forward and brought the full force of the Super Hammer down on Kirby. Kirby yelped and recoiled violently each time he blocked the blows. "No…," he uttered as he neared the edge of the ring.

Mario, usually calm and cool, was staring intently at the battle. Next to himself, Kirby was one of the best on the Smash Bros. team. "Come on, Kirby. You can't lose…"

Shadow laughed at slapped Sonic on the back. "Looks like Amy is going to win."

Sonic pouted. "So?"

Amy smirked as she kept pushing forward. Kirby was right at the edge. He would either have to fall or get hit. Kirby's expression changed back to his cute grin as he somersaulted out of the way.

"Wuh…?" Amy turned her head, then turned her body toward Kirby. The hammer he was holding transformed into a star and disappeared. He began to inhale once again. Despite the combined weight of Amy and her Super Hammer, they were easily dragged in to Kirby's waiting maw.

Shadow stomped the ground. "You've got to be _kidding_ me!"

Mario smiled.

A now oversized Kirby simply turned and spit Amy and the hammer out of the ring. Amy hit the far wall and collapsed to the ground. The Super Hammer vanished in a puff of white smoke.

"Kirby wins the match!"

Applause and cheers arose and Kirby flashed an adorable smile and began to make his way out of the ring. Before taking another step, he turned to look at Sonic and Shadow, who were glaring at him and gritting their teeth. Kirby's demeanor changed again as he sneered at them before walking back to his teammates. Sonic wanted Mario to himself, but Shadow, he wanted Kirby. He kept replaying the scene in the mall corridor where they had first met. _No one_ mocked the Ultimate Life Form.

Rouge flew over to Amy, picked her up, and brought her back to the rest of the team. The pink hedgehog slowly and painfully got up. "Don't try to move too much," Rouge said. "Are you okay?"

Amy nodded weakly. "I'm sorry. I couldn't win."

"Don't worry. It's only one loss."

Surprisingly, it wasn't Rouge who said that, but Sonic. He was staring directly at Mario. If he wanted to take this shit up a level, then so be it. Amy, forgetting all of her pain, ran over to Sonic and hugged him from behind. "Sonic! You _do_ care!"

Sonic tried to pry Amy off of him. "No, I don't! I was glad you got your ass whooped!"

Amy grinned seductively. "Would you 'whoop' my ass, Sonikku? In _bed_?"

Sonic screamed. "AHHH! Kirby! Come back here and beat her up some more! Use your hammer!"

"Let's start the next match!" The announcer's voice came.

Princess Peach was the first to step into the ring. She looked straight at Rouge, challenging her. Rouge cocked an eyebrow. "That bitch has some nerve. If she wants to rumble, then bring it!"

Knuckles casually flipped his dreads. "You sure you'll be able to handle it, babe? You want Big Daddy to give you hug for some confidence?"

Rouge stared at him. "You know what, Knuckles? Strike one. I dare your ass to get to strike three."

"Okay."

Rouge pushed her way past her team members. "Stand back, everybody." She narrowed her eyes at Peach. "I'm gonna slap that ho."

When Rouge made her way to the center of the ring, the announcer began the introductions. He swept his hand over Princess Peach. "We have royalty fighting tonight, folks! Princess Peach is, in fact, a princess. She rules the peaceful Mushroom Kingdom and get frequently gets kidnapped by Mario's arch-nemesis: Bowser!"

"Yeah, baby. _Yeah_!" Bowser bellowed at the mention of his antics. The Smash Bros. turned to stare at Bowser oddly.

Mario gave him a cold stare. "That reminds me Bowser. You need to quit kidnapping the princess, because I'll mess around one day and fuck your ass up beyond recognition."

The King Koopa raised his bright orange eyebrows. "You can't. You know that? You can't. Why do you think all those Mario video games were produced? Because I keep coming back! Without me, _you_ are _nothing_!"

Mario continued to give an icy stare at Bowser. "After we get done winning this tournament, you ass is next."

The announcer continued. "And over here, we have Rouge the Bat! She a sultry nocturnal vixen that has a soft spot for jewels and emeralds. In the city of Station Square, she could easily be classified as most beautiful!"

Knuckles snickered. "Don't you mean Ms. Whore 2005?"

Despite the loudness of the announcer's voice, Rouge still heard Knuckles with her keen sense of hearing. She turned back to him and held up her middle finger, then her index finger along with her middle. The raising of the middle finger _before_ the two fingers meant: 'That's motherfuckin' strike two.'

The announcer backed out of the ring and brought his hand down. "_Fight_!"

"Well, well," Peach snickered. "I've heard stories about you, Rouge. _Slutty_ stories."

Rouge scoffed. "What about you, skank? I think that you _let_ that Bowser guy kidnap you."

Peach adjusted the crown that rested on her blond hair. Instead of replying, she suddenly jumped up and flipped over Rouge. Even though she was wearing a big, pink dress that went down to her ankles and high-heeled shoes, Peach was surprisingly agile. Before Rouge could react, Peach planted her heels into Rouge's back, prompting a sharp cry of pain from the latter. Just as Peach was about to land, Rouge crouched down and swept her leg, tripping the princess and leaving her face up on the ring floor. Rouge was instantly on top of Peach, sitting her and weighing her down.

Knuckles' face turned red as his eyes widened at the sight of Rouge on top of Peach. "Holy crap, that's hot."

Charmy desperately tried to see, but Vector was covering his eyes. "Come on, Vec! I wanna see! What's happening?"

Mario stared into the ring. "…Damn…"

Rouge stared into Peach's blue eyes. "I've been waiting a long time for this."

Peach struggled against the bat's weight on her. "You…You wouldn't!"

"I'm gonna!"

Rouge suddenly brought her hand down and backhanded Peach across the face.

"Ow! You damn bitch!" Peach yelled.

Rouge raised her hand up again. "What's that? You want more?" Rouge proceeded to slap Peach about the face repeatedly.

The whole arena burst with hoots and hollers.

"My goodness!" the announcer cried. "How much more of this brutal punishment can the princess take?"

Shadow crossed his arms and sucked at his teeth. "What the damn kind of fight is this?"

"Idiot!" Knuckles said. "Don't you know anything? This is a _catfight_!"

Peach managed to get herself in position and buck Rouge off of her. The bat landed softly on the floor and easily got to her feet. Peach got up as well. Her cheeks were now bright pink from the attacks. She was fuming. "You just went too damn far, whore!" With that, Peach bent down and removed one of her shoes. 'Oooh' noises came from the crowds.

Shadow looked around, then to Knuckles. "Okay, 'Mr. Catfight'. What does that mean?"

Knuckles had his arms crossed and his eyes closed. He looked like a sensei teaching his students. "The catfight will now escalate."

Rouge watched as Peach removed her other shoe, keeping eyes on her opponent the whole time. She then removed her long white gloves and walked calmly to the edge of the ring and dropped the items on the ground. She walked back to her original position in front of Rouge and beckoned to her with a slender hand. "Come, so I can beat your ass."

Rouge smirked. Who was this ho trying to fool? Rouge clearly had the advantage over her since she had on her Iron Boots. She slowly walked forward, then started to trot, then finally broke into an all-out rush. Peach quickly side-stepped as Rouge ran past and grabbed her by one of her big bat ears. The princess used her other hand to grab Rouge's side and toss her straight up into the air. Peach jumped and stayed in mid-air, displaying her power to float, and kicked Rouge again and again. Cries and yelps escaped Rouge's mouth as she was juggled in the air by Peach's attacks. Luckily, the mushroom princess couldn't float for long, so both she and Rouge dropped to the ground. Peach landing on her feet, Rouge landing on her back.

Rouge clutched her stomach where she had been kicked and tried to raise to her feet, but Peach brought her knee down on her stomach, trapping Rouge's hands beneath it. Peach smiled as she raised her hand up. Since Bowser kidnapped her so much, she had plenty of times to slap him. Over the years, her hands had become rough and strong from constantly striking Bowser's tough hide. This is why she chose to wear gloves. Peach's smile disappeared. "Let me show you how it's done."

With deadly swiftness, Peach began to slap Rouge across her face, using only one hand. Rouge felt as if she was being punched in the jaw. It hurt! But she was helpless to do anything since Peach had her hands pinned. The princess seemed to be using all of her strength, showing no signs of fatigue at all. Rouge gritted her teeth as her cheeks went from pink to red to a dark purple. She had to do something fast or she was going to lose consciousness. Then she had a plan. It was a technique that Rouge had been working on to stun her foes. Mostly , she was developing it to use for when she lifted some valuable jewels. Rouge opened her mouth at let out a high pitched scream. Since she was a bat, her voice could go much higher than any human, and she could adjust the frequency of it. She raised her voice higher to match that of a severely piercing noise to human ears. Peach suddenly stopped her frenzy and clutched her ears, screaming in pain. No one else was affected, though. She had to work on increasing the range.

Rouge got up and rubbed her painful cheeks. Peach was rolling around on the floor, holding her ears tight. Rouge was sure that her hearing would be temporarily impaired, so she ran over to the princess, picked her up, and flew straight upward all the way to the ceiling.

"Wow!" the announcer exclaimed. "Both combatants are way up there! What is Rouge planning to do?"

Rouge snickered. "Isn't it obvious?"

Peach finally opened her eyes and gasped when she saw where she was. She didn't have long to react as Rouge swung her around twice and threw her some fifty feet to the ring floor. That's what Rouge would've _liked_ to happen, except Peach didn't fall. She floated in mid-air and reversed Rouge's throw. The bat plummeted like a bullet toward the ring. Peach used her abilities to guide herself toward Rouge also. She was going to strike the final blow. Upon reaching the ring floor, Rouge's wings fanned out and she touched down without a scratch. Using all her strength, she jumped back up in an attempt to deal the final blow to Peach. Only when she jumped, Peach was a tad closer than Rouge had expected. Peach also became disoriented. She didn't expect Rouge to recover and jump back up. Both girls attempted to stop themselves, but to no avail. They collided with each other and became a mixture of white and pink as they fell toward the ring. When they landed, neither one of them moved.

"And both Rouge and the Princess seem to be out cold!" the announcer exclaimed. "I'll start the count! One!…Two!…"

"Come on, Peach. Get up!" Mario muttered furiously.

"Three!…Four!…Five!"

Knuckles was at the side of the ring, pounding on the floor. "Come on, Rouge! Do it for the team! Do it for your _man_!"

"Six!…Seven!…"

Bowser rubbed his hands as a mischievous grin crossed his face. "Perfect time for a kidnapping!"

"Eight!…Nine!…"

Both Sonic and Mario thought the same thing: _Fuck!_

"_Ten_! It's a draw! Both Rouge and Princess Peach are eliminated!"

Rouge woke up to see Knuckles' grinning form over her. She gazed at him for a second, then punched him in the jaw. "_You_! What the fuck were you doing to me? Strike _three_ motherfucker!"

Knuckles rubbed his jaw and flashed a thumb's up to the others. "…Back to her old self again."

Peach woke up in the Smash Bros. locker room. Mario was next to her. "You okay? You took a pretty bad hit out there. I _told_ you that you shouldn't have fought."

Peach raised up onto her elbows. "Yes, I'm okay. Did I lose?"

"No, it was a draw. The both of you got eliminated."

Peach chuckled, then broke into laughter. "Heh. _Damn_ if I let that whore get the best of _me_!"

The announcer climbed back into the ring. "Man! What a battle that last one was! Now, this next match will be a special match! Each team will choose not one, but _two_ fighters for the next round! The match will awarded to the team who either knocks both of the opposing team's fighters out or land out of bounds. Now, teams! Choose your fighters!"

Sonic had secretly wished that Mario and Kirby would step forward, so that he and Shadow could put and end to this bullshit once and for all. But Mario was in the locker room at the moment, so that plan was shot. He watched as the two humans with swords stepped into the ring. Marth and Roy were their names, he thought. His thought were interrupted by Vector. "Let the rest of Team Chaotix take care of these pansies! Espio! You and me, pal!" Espio nodded and silently followed Vector onto the ring.

"Okay! For this two-on-two match, we have Vector the Crocodile and Espio the Chameleon: members of the infamous Team Chaotix and also part of the Chaotix Detective Agency!" The announcer turned toward Marth and Roy. "Next, we have Marth and Roy: swordsmen who fought bravely for their kingdoms many years ago. They are said to be the best swordsmen of their time!"

Espio studied their foes. Marth had dull blue hair and wore light blue armor. He also wore a blue cape that billowed lightly from the giant air conditioning vents around the arena. The sword that he held was thin and pointy. The way he held it, though, told Espio that he knew how to use it. This would present a problem. Roy, on the other hand, was completely different from Marth. He had loud, spiky, red hair and purple and gold armor. He, too, wore a cape, except it was purple. His sword was slightly larger than Marth's, but seemed dull around the edges. He let his sword dangle loosely at his side. Espio couldn't figure out what would make _him _such a great swordsman. He couldn't figure out what made them such a great _team_. Then again, he and Vector were the same way. Marth and himself represented patience, quick thinking, and flawless moves. Vector and Roy represented strength, wildness, and unpredictability.

This was the perfect match.

"Vector," Espio spoke. "I suppose I don't have to tell you who your opponent is?"

Vector cracked his knuckles and eyed Roy. "Nah, I'm readin' you loud and clear."

Espio stared up into Marth's piercing eye's. His calm demeanor and his expressionless expression proved very hard to read. The chameleon got into his ninja stance. This would be interesting.

"_Fight_!"

"Hyah!" Roy was the first to attack. Vector narrowly dodged his sword and moved to different part of the ring with Roy in hot pursuit. This left Espio and Marth to themselves. Neither combatant had made an advance or even moved. They just stood, sizing each other up. Espio almost didn't see the glint of steel coming in from his left. He hopped back and barely had time to evade the next attack. Espio would have to kick his speed up a notch. Marth unleashed a flurry of quick attacks, all of which Espio was just barely dodging. Marth was only using one hand, but he was still so quick.

Roy held a hand behind his sword as he blocked Vector's Ground Pound move. Before Vector could land, Roy brought right his sword across the crocodile's chest, resulting in a light cut.

"Yow! You little…," Vector sneered as he charged at Roy with powerful punches. Roy was not strong enough to block with his sword anymore, so he hopped back and held his blade in a defensive position. Unbeknownst to Vector, Roy was storing power within the blade to release a mighty attack. Vector charged forward.

"Now I'll blow you up!" Roy brought his sword down in front of him and struck the ground.

Marth deflected every single ninja star the Espio had thrown at him. The chameleon wasn't about to give up yet, though. A loud explosion was heard as Vector went flying across the ring and landed with a loud thud. He struggled to his feet. Espio parried on of Marth's attacks and called to his friend. "Vector! Stay strong!"

"R-Right…" Vector got up and faced Roy, who was charging up another attack and inching toward him at the same time. Vector suddenly lumbered toward Roy as fast as his legs would take him. As expected, Roy attempted to strike the floor with his sword again, but Vector caught the blade between his hands. "Not this time, kid."

Roy stared in terror at his still charged sword. "Oh, no…" The resulting explosion from the sword sent both fighter flying out of the ring.

"Vector and Roy are out of the match!"

Marth turned his head slightly to see his fallen comrade. Espio took this split second to deliver a devastating punch right to Marth's nose. The swordsman quickly kicked Espio back and began to charge up his own attack. Exactly one second later, he brought the sword down and struck the ground. "Shield Breaker!"

Espio was caught by surprise at the attack. Marth could charge up a lot faster than Roy, but the result was not an explosion, but a little mini typhoon. Espio was sent straight up in the air. He turned just in time to see Marth charging up again. "Shield…" He watched his opponent fall toward him, then vanish. "What?" Marth quickly searched around him, confused. Espio appeared right in front of him. Before Marth could raise his sword in offense or defense, Espio punched him in the stomach, then again in the jaw. The force of the attacks sent Marth spiraling out of the ring.

Espio inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Chameleon invisibility. Always comes in handy."

"Espio wins the fight! The match is awarded to the Sonic Team!"

The Sonic Team cheered and congratulated Espio and Vector, even tough Vector lost in a draw.

Eggman adjusted his dark glasses. "Next round, _I_ will be fighting that bastard excuse for a villain: Bowser!" He turned to Metal Sonic, who was sound asleep, his flask still in hand. The doctor kicked Metal. "Wake your ass up! You're always sleeping! I'm gonna make your ass fight first in the next round!" Metal stood up, glared at his creator, and sipped form his flask. He looked as if he were about to say something, but instead, he just slumped down to the ground and went back to sleep. Eggman shook his head. "I should melt you down into a damn toaster…"

Mario clenched his fist as the teams went to their locker rooms for the fifteen minute intermission. "Damn it! We _can't_ lose! I won't allow it!"

* * *

**The Sonic Team has suffered their first losses! Amy, Rouge, and Vector have been eliminated. But the Sonic Team is still in the lead as the final round nears. Will they be able to win the tournament?**


	13. A Short Intermission II

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic. **

* * *

Geese cracked his knuckles as he looked back and forth between Akuma and Terry. 

The teams had retreated to their locker rooms for the break. Most of the people stayed glued to their seats, some laughing and talking. The final round of the tournament was coming up soon and nobody wanted to miss it.

Rock gave a suspicious look to his father. "Dad, don't go trying to fight people again."

Geese stared menacingly at Terry. "Boy, do I _ever_ tell you what to do?"

"Yeah, you do! All the time!"

Geese suddenly pointed. "Look. You're gay-ass friend is getting up." Rock squinted down the rows and saw the man raise from his seat. He was dressed almost identical to Rock, except his jacket and pants were a little ragged and he wore a red cap with the words 'Fatal Fury!' on the front.

Rock smiled. "Hey, that's Terry! What's he doing here?" Despite having an ongoing feud with Geese, Terry and Rock were best friends. Rock even adopted some of Terry's fighting techniques. He also had his father's abilities as well. One in particular was the 'Reppu-Ken' or 'Wind Slice'. This was a attack that harvested the user's 'ki', or inner energy, into a bright blue claw-like projectile that slid along the ground.

Terry stepped out into the aisle.

Geese grinned evilly as he leaned sideways out into the walkway and brought his arm back. Rock saw this and immediately protested. "No, Dad! Don't!"

"_Reppu-Ken_!"

Geese swept his hand over the ground and watched maliciously as the projectile slid down the steps at amazing speed toward Terry. Rock buried his face in his hands. "Not again…"

The attack hit its mark as Terry let out a girlish scream and went tumbling down the stairs. After finally coming to a stop, Terry quickly recovered and sprang to his feet. He glared up the aisle. "Who the _fuck_ did that?"

Instead of concealing his identity like anyone else would do, Geese stood up in plain view. Terry's eyes darkened under his hat. "Geese."

Geese was already in full battle stance, ready to hand out a 'home-brewed ass stompin', as he so cleverly put it. He stepped into the aisle way and bowed politely. "Good evening, fag. I was just wondering if you were ready to get _smacked up_!"

Terry clenched his fist and stepped forward. "Geese! You think you can do anything and get away with it? Like taking my father's life? Well I got news for ya, _jack_! Today, you _die_!"

Geese smirked as Terry charged up the stairs. Before the two could engage in battle, Rock stepped between them. Terry growled. "Outta the way, Rock! I know we're friends, but I'll go _through_ you if I have to!"

Rock stayed firm. "Can you both please calm down? I've put up with nothing but shit ever since we got here. All I want to do is watch the rest of this tournament in peace. Can we _please_ post-pone this fight until _after_ the tournament is over?"

Terry eased up. "Fine, fine. But I'm tellin' you, Rock. Your dad needs a _foot in his ass_!"

Rock turned to his father. "Dad?"

Geese was still in stance. "Hell no."

"Come on, Dad! I'll, uh, get you some porno magazines!"

Geese almost instantly broke his stance and wore a perverted grin. "Pornos, you say?" Rock sighed as he and Geese sat down. As soon as Terry made it halfway down the aisle, he was hit with another Reppu-Ken. Geese grinned as he watched Terry roll into a trash can this time.

"_Dad_!"

Geese shrugged. "What? My hand slipped."

ooo

Inuyasha and his gang waited in line at the food stands. The dog demon tapped his foot impatiently. "Feh! Why can't these humans work any faster? I'm _dyin' _over here!"

Kagome turned around from her place in front of him. "Calm down, Inuyasha. We'll be there shortly."

"Shortly?" Inuyasha growled softly and tapped his sword. "This line's too slow. Maybe a little _Tetsusaiga action _will get this bastard movin' a little faster."

Kagome turned her head once more. "Inuyasha..."

"What?"

"_Sit_!"

The bead necklace around Inuyasha glowed. He hit the floor hard. "Damn…you…wench."

Shippo hung on to Kagome's shoulder. "Hey, Kagome. You think we'll find any more jewel shards when we get back to the feudal era?"

The demon Nightmare, who just happened to be walking by since he had lost Ivy at the moment, overheard the word 'shards' and thought he got lucky. He walked up to the gang. "I would not think that a group of weaklings such as yourselves would be in possession of the Soul Edge shards. Hand them over."

Inuyasha turned around. "Who the hell are you?"

Nightmare withdrew his gigantic sword. "I am called Nightmare, as it _will_ be for you if you do not comply."

Miroku gripped his staff. "So you're Nightmare. You look worthy enough."

Sango stood behind him, also ready for battle. "Miroku, you _know_ this demon?"

Miroku nodded. "I know _of_ him. I met a beautiful young lady earlier who believed that this demon had these 'shards of the Soul Edge'."

Inuyasha stepped out of the line. "I don't care what this asshole has or wants! If he want a fight, then he's got one!"

Kagome took a couple of steps back. "Be careful. There's innocent people around us!"

The conversation between the group was suddenly interrupted by a loud voice. "There you are!" Everybody turned to see Ivy making a beeline toward Nightmare at frightening speed. "Come the _fuck_ here!"

"Oh, _shit_!"

Nightmare took off in the opposite direction, screaming profanities at Ivy along the way. Ivy ran past Inuyasha and the gang, swinging her weapon wildly and screaming after Nightmare. "Don't you run from me! _Don't you run from me_!"

"Hey! Hey! _Hey_!" Akira, still in her security uniform, shouted as Nightmare ran past. Sonia still had on the jacket, but was now brandishing not one, but _two_ batons, one in each hand.

The hedgehog shouted as Ivy ran past. "Quit running in the halls, before I bust those damn kneecaps!"

Both demon and human actually slowed down to a power-walk and continued the chase down the hallway.

Sonia twirled both batons proficiently around her fingers. "That's what I thought."

ooo

Yami-Yugi and Jonouchi sat quietly in their seats. For the first time, Kaiba and Marik weren't pestering for a duel. However, Yami made the mistake of dropping some loose change behind him on his seat. He slowly turned around to see Kaiba staring at him, silently, holding his Blue Eyes White Dragon card in front of him like a trophy. Marik, on the other hand, was stuffing his face with some nachos. As soon as he saw Yami staring at him, the Millennium Rod was instantly put into play. "_Fool_!" Marik bellowed in between mouthfuls of nachos. "As soon as I get done with this primitive snack, you're going to take an all expenses paid trip to the _Shadow Realm_!"

Yami shook his head sadly.

ooo

Team Flash stood at their usual spot at the top of the arena. Cel leaned on the railing, a bored expression on her face. She hated the breaks. She wanted to see the _fights_. She wanted to see someone get _cut_. Cinder was next to her eating a slice of pizza. Cel glanced at the echidna. "It's nice to see you eating some _real food_ for a change."

Silhouette suddenly slammed her hands on the railing. "This is boring! We need to go on a mission!"

Cel wrinkled her face. "A mission? _Now_? But, I want to see the rest of the tournament."

"Too bad! I'm the leader of this team and I say we go on a mission! Now form up!"

Cel let out an exasperated sigh as she and Cinder stood side by side and formed a two-person line. Silhouette crossed her arms behind her as she slowly paced back and forth in front of her team. She stopped in front of Cel and watched her for moment. Finally, she spoke. "What is your name, soldier?"

"Cel."

"Your _real_ name."

"Cel."

Silhouette slowly inhaled, then exhaled. "You think this is funny?"

"Yeah, kind of."

Silhouette nodded, then shrugged. "Okay. But once we get home, it's Wrestle-Mania. You hear me, Cel? _Wrestle-Mania._"

"Okay."

The hedgehog then stepped over to Cinder. "Cinder."

"Yeppers!"

"Don't say 'yeppers'. Say 'yes'."

"Yessums!"

Silhouette sighed. "And stop grinning. Be serious."

Cinder's smile faded.

"Now…"

Another grin slowly started to form on Cinder's face.

"I said stop grinning!"

"I can't help it! You're being funny!"

"Fine. Now tell me, truthfully." Silhouette leaned closer to Cinder. "…What happened to my Hot Pockets?"

As expected, Cel started to protest, but Silhouette held up a hand to stop her. "Answer the question, Cinder." Cinder looked down at the ground nervously, folding and unfolding her hands. "Cinder?" Silhouette persisted.

"Cel ate'em!" Cinder buried her face in her hands.

Silhouette's knees nearly buckled from the response as she glared at Cel. "You…you _ate_ my _Hot_ _Pockets_?"

"So? You weren't even _awake_!"

Silhouette got up. "As punishment, _you_ must take the mission!"

Cel crossed her arms. "Fine."

Silhouette pulled out a piece of paper and read from it. "Cel, your mission today…" She put her foot forward. "Is to tie my shoe."

Cel looked down at Silhouette's untied shoe. "No."

Silhouette pointed to herself. "_I_ am the leader of Team Flash! That means that you _must_ tie the Converse!"

"Nope."

Silhouette backed off. "Fine. But _you_ have to do the grocery shopping!"

"But I did it last weekend!"

Silhouette grinned and shrugged. "You failed the mission. Too bad!"

So, the three found themselves in the same position of leaning on the railing. A thought bubble appeared above Cel's head and showed her blowing up a grocery store with a missile launcher. Cel smiled. A thought bubble appeared above Silhouette's head and showed a giant Hot Pocket being blown up by Cel and her missile launcher. Silhouette whimpered. A thought bubble materialized above Cinder's head and showed…absolutely nothing. It was blank. Cinder grinned goofily.

ooo

Li and Sakura had just started walking back to their seats from the food stands. Li's head snapped up as they passed by a door. 'Storage Room' was stamped on the front in big, black letters. Sakura nudged him. "Li, what's wrong?"

Li frowned at the door, then kept walking. "I thought I sensed something, but it's nothing."

ooo

Only five minutes remained until the final round began.

Sonic stretched his legs as he focused his mind on Mario. This time Rouge, Amy, and Vector would have to stay in the locker room because they had gotten eliminated. A big screen T.V. was positioned in the corner of the room to show the fights. Sonic didn't see how his team could possibly lose. They had eight fighters left while Mario's team only had five. Then again, the previous battles seemed a little too easy.

Mario, surely, was keeping his best fighters for the final round.

* * *

**The final round begins next chapter!**


	14. The Final Round

**Disclaimer:** **I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic. **

* * *

"All right, ladies and gentlemen!" the announcer boomed in his deep voice. "The last portion of this tournament is about to begin!" 

Shouts and cries of '_Nintendo_!' and '_Sega_!' poured out from all around the arena as the Sonic Team and the Super Smash Bros. took their positions at opposite sides of the ring. Sonic felt his heart pumping a mile a minute from excitement and determination as Mario looked back at him from across the ring. The red and blue-clad plumber still looked calm and cool, the two characteristics he should _not_ have had for someone whose team was losing the tournament.

Even Shadow, as composed as he was, was riddled with anticipation. He grimaced when he saw that his rival wasn't even paying attention. Kirby leaned back on his arms as he sat down next to his remaining teammates. Who did he think he was? Clearly, he thought that the battle with Shadow would be nothing more than child's play. The dark hedgehog felt the power of his Chaos Emerald flowing through him. He'd make sure Kirby would never be able to make a cute grin again.

"Teams! Please select your fighters for the next match!"

The Sonic Team watched as the one called Samus Aran stepped into the ring from their enemies' side. It was a robot clad in orange colored armor from nearly head to toe. The torso of the armor was yellow to give it a distinguishing look. What seemed to be a cannon was attached to its right arm for offensive purposes. Red armor coated the head of the machine, as well as a green optic visor that made its way around either side of the head in a 180 degree fashion.

Eggman furrowed his brow as he studied the android. _So, they have a robot, too, do they? Well, we'll see if that thing can stand up to…_He turned around to Metal, who was knocked out on the floor, flask still in hand. Eggman delivered a kick to Metal's mechanical body. "Get your ass up!"

Metal's red eyes fazed into view. "Look, you better quit kicking me."He slowly got up. "…Shoot your ass with my fucking laser."

"Never mind that! Get up there and fight!"

Metal made his way to the ring. "Fine, damn it!"

The announcer started the introductions as soon as both fighters met face to face. He held his hand out to Metal. "Now, we have Metal Sonic, one of Dr. Eggman's best creations!"

Eggman snickered. "My ass."

"Metal Sonic recently played the antagonist in _Sonic Heroes_, where he met defeat and the hands of Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles. Now he's joined the Sonic Team to help face off against the Super Smash Bros.!"

And for some strange reason, the crowd went nuts. Cheers of '_Metal! Metal!_' echoed through the arena. Some people were wearing T-shirts with Metal's face on them. Others were waving around little plastic flasks.

Eggman looked around at the crowds in disbelief. "What the fuck is this? What did _he_ do?"

The announcer continued as he pointed to Samus. "And here, we have the supreme bounty hunter, Samus Aran! Samus has been protecting various planets from the menace of the alien Metroids. And, many will be surprised to know that underneath that armor, is a female human! Yes, Samus was actually given her armor by an ancient race called the Chozos! Now, she has come to Earth to compete in the Rose Tournament!"

The fighters prepared…

"_Fight_!"

Metal was instantly knocked back by a superbly executed roundhouse kick thrown by Samus. Metal stumbled back a little, but managed to stay on his feet.

"Son a of goddamn…"

Metal cussed under his breath as he rushed forward and rammed into Samus, knocking her back in similar fashion. She recovered easily and brought her right arm back. She lashed her arm forward as a bright blue grappling chain emitted from her gun. This was no ordinary chain, however, as it was made up completely of electricity. The weapon sparked and crackled as it wrapped itself around Metal's body. He struggled and grunted in pain as electricity surged through his systems. If Metal took too much, he would eventually short out. Samus wasn't planning on holding on for long, though, as she grabbed on to her gun with her other hand and began to swing Metal round and round.

Eggman rubbed his temples. "Damn it, Metal. It hasn't even been a full minute yet and already you're going to lose."

As soon as Samus picked up enough speed, the electric chain retracted and Metal was sent flying out of the ring. Samus flashed a smug expression behind her visor. "Too easy."

Suddenly, flames erupted from Metal's feet as he activated his jet boosters. He stopped his descent just inches from the ground and flew back into the ring, planting a swift kick right to Samus' head.

"Oh! And Metal Sonic just _barely_ saves himself from falling outside the ring!" the announcer cried enthusiastically.

Eggman breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. It's nice to see that that damn robot can actually fight when he's not piss-ass drunk."

Metal touched down a few feet away from the recovering Samus. He didn't even realize the fact the gun barrel of his opponent was glowing. Metal's red eyes glowed as he charged toward Samus, intent on dealing a finishing blow. Samus smirked, quickly got up, and discharged a huge, spherical ball of pure plasma from her gun. Metal didn't have time to stop or dodge, he was going too fast and he was too close. The blast hit him head on. Sparks flew as Metal slid and tumbled violently across the asphalt tiles of the ring. He finally came to a stop right at the edge of the ring. He didn't move.

The announcer started the count. "One!… Two!…"

"Come on, Metal!" Eggman shouted. "You're one of _my_ creations! You _can't_ lose!"

"Three!…Four!…"

Metal slowly got up. Samus was bewildered. "How could it take one of my plasma shots at _point-blank _range?"

"I don't believe it, folks!" the announcer said. "Metal Sonic is back up and ready to fight!"

Metal studied the burn marks and scratches on left on his body from the attacks. He glared at the still baffled Samus. "You fucked up my paint job!" He took out his flask containing his beloved concoction of oil and WD-40, took a swallow, then put it away. He focused back to Samus. "Now, let me show you how we do things at Sega."

Samus braced herself as Metal flew forward with jets at full thrust. She fired a smaller plasma shot at Metal, but he deflected it with ease. Instead of heading straight for Samus like she intended him to do, Metal shot past her to the other side of the arena. Before Samus could turn around, Metal stopped and flew back toward her. The next thing Samus knew, she was forced face first into the floor as Metal unleashed the full power of his thrusters to the back of her head. Long, jagged cracks had formed in the floor where Samus had hit. Metal wasn't done yet, as both lower halves of his arms transformed themselves into cannons. His blood red eyes gleamed as he pointed the cannons at Samus and unleashed his ultimate attack.

"Mecha_ Barrage_!"

The cannons shook and recoiled aggressively as a dazzling and vicious array of lasers escaped their depths. Smoke and debris flew about as Metal continued to fire. A glowing semi-circle of released energy from the lasers slowly began to grow in size, forcing Metal to activate his thrusters to lift himself up as he fired off his last few extra-powerful shots.

Mario's mouth hung open. This did _not_ look good.

Both Metal and Samus were enshrouded in the thick, black smoke that had accumulated during the attack.

"Metal Sonic has let loose a _devastating_ laser attack on Samus!" the announcer cried. "Will she be okay?"

The smoke finally cleared up, revealing an unscathed Metal Sonic. He grinned. "The answer to that question is: hell motherfucking _no_."

Samus was, indeed, not so lucky. She now lay in a miniature crater that the force of the attack had created. The back of her armor was totally decimated. Multicolored wires were sticking out of some parts of the stripped open armor, while other parts were completely melted. Samus couldn't possibly fight any longer.

Eggman crossed his arms proudly. "That's my _boy_! …I mean robot."

Metal suddenly took a defensive stance as Samus rolled over onto her back. She smirked through her now cracked visor. "It's not over, yet." A chest compartment opened up in her armor and fired three small missiles at Metal.

He calmly side-stepped past the attack. "What was that bullshit?"

Samus grinned. "Heat-seekers."

Metal glanced behind him to see the missiles curve around and head back in his direction. He turned back to Samus. "You fired heat-seekers intent on hitting me, but…," he pointed to her. "I'm not the one who's smoking."

"What?" Samus realized her mistake. Her armor had started to smoke from the earlier attack, which meant…

The missiles sped past Metal and straight for Samus. The explosion that followed sent her flying out of the ring. Metal had won.

"And Metal Sonic wins this _explosive_ match!"

The Sonic Team hooted and hollered in victory as Metal walked back to them, taking a sip from his flask. Eggman tried to hide the satisfaction on his face as Metal walked up to him. "Nice to see that you used your damn head for once."

Metal grinned. "Please. You know that fight was _bitchin'_."

Mario was starting to lose his cool now. Now his team was down to four fighters. He wasn't going to lose. Even if he had to fight the rest of the battles himself. He wasn't going to lose.

"Please present your fighter for the next match!"

Sonic and Shadow turned to the others behind them. "Okay, who's fightin'?" Sonic asked. Everybody looked back at them.

"One of you guys need to fight," Knuckles replied.

"Look, we've been over this," Sonic said. "Shadow and I get Mario and Kirby."

"That's right," Shadow agreed. "Because _damn_ if I'm going to get my ass_ owned_ in some hallway by a piece of _cotton candy_!" He pointed across the arena to Kirby.

"Okay," Knuckles turned to the others. "I volunteer to fight. Who else?" Charmy and Tails stepped forward. Knuckles held out his hand. "All right. You guys know the routine. Rock, Paper, Scissors. Go!" They all brought their hands down three times, forming a symbol on the third time. Tails and Charmy both drew 'rock', while Knuckles drew 'paper'. He pumped his fist in victory. "Yeah! Looks like somebody from Nintendo is about to get their ass _beat_!"

"Look, Knuckles," Sonic said to him when he walked up. "Please, _please_ don't screw this up. Just try and win, okay?"

Knuckles stopped and stared at him. "Who do you think you are? Talkin' to me like I don't know shit? I won my last battle, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but only after I told your ass how to win it!"

"Aww…," Knuckles waved Sonic off and entered the ring.

"Okay!" the announcer began. "Our next match has Knuckles the Echidna, a returning contender from Round One, against Mr. Game & Watch, a 2-bit battler!"

Knuckles looked around. "Where the hell is he? I don't see him."

The announcer continued. "Mr. Game & Watch is an 'old schooler' who made his debut on the hit handheld Game & Watch games, which came out in the 80's! He's played a variety of roles from a chef to a fireman to a deep sea diver! In combat, his two-dimensional figure makes him tough to see and causes trouble for his opponents!"

The announcer backed out of the ring. "Annnnd _fight_!"

Knuckles had his fists at the ready for anything that would come at him. Suddenly, he looked down as Mr. Game & Watch revealed himself. He seemed to be nothing more than a shadow. He was short, and had the same body build as any regular human, but his face could not be seen. From Knuckles' view, he was turned sideways, so he could be seen, but his head was turned toward the echidna. He took a couple steps forward, which produced small beeping sounds, like that of a handheld videogame.

Knuckles stared down at the odd…thing. "I don't know what the hell you are, but 'Da Knux Man' is gonna have to take ya _down_!"

With that said, Knuckles jumped up in the air and brought his fist back. Game & Watch emitted some more beeping sounds and actually turned to face Knuckles, completely obscuring his paper-thin body from view. Knuckles' fist left a nice dent in the floor where he hit. Game & Watch was nowhere to be found. Knuckles suddenly hunched over with a loud 'OOF!' as he suffered a blow to the stomach, then another to the jaw. He quickly regained himself and swung his fists blindly, hoping to get a hit. No such luck. Then an idea hit him. The beeping! Whenever Game & Watch made step or moved, he beeped. This would be the key to defeating him.

Knuckles stood up, but kept his knees bent and stayed low to the ground to adjust to his opponent's height. He kept still and listened closely.

Nothing.

He kept listening, then he heard the faint beeping. It wasn't as loud as it was earlier. Game & Watch must have been tip-toeing to soften his steps. Knuckles turned to his left and lashed out with a powerful kick. He felt his foot connect with something, accompanied by a loud buzzing noise. Game & Watch lay flat on his back as Knuckles picked him between two fingers, dropped him, then punched him. Game & Watch flew through the air easily because of his weightlessness, and landed outside the ring.

"Knuckles wins the match!"

Mario stamped his foot. "_Damn it_! What the fuck is going _on?_ Why are they winning so _easily?_"

Rouge sighed and shook her head as she watched the fight in the locker room along with Amy and Vector. Knuckles himself bust in the locker room seconds later. He stood in front of Rouge and planted his hands on his hips. "Can 'Da Knux Man' get a congratulatory kiss?"

"No, I'm not giving you a kiss."

Knuckles' eyes widened hopefully. "_Sex?_"

Rouge held her index finger up and motioned toward him. "Come here."

Amy and Vector soon found themselves cringing as they watched Rouge tighten her scissors hold around Knuckles' neck. "_You sick ASS_!" Rouge screamed. "_How dare you come up to me and ask me for SEX?_"

"I…just…kid…kidding…," Knuckles choked out.

Rouge tightened her legs even more. "Come on! Snap! _Snap_!"

Amy and Vector watched as Rouge tried her best to snap Knuckles neck, but to no avail. Amy crossed her arms. "My Sonikku would _never_ do that to _me_…"

Eggman's dark glasses glimmered in the light as he watched Bowser step into the ring. The doctor's new and improved Egg Walker stood next to him. He was able to keep it inside the locker room until it was needed for his battle. He hopped in the machine, activated it, and entered the ring wearing his trademark 'grin of evilness'.

"All right!" the announcer spoke. "This match pits both of the villains from the Sonic Team and the Super Smash Bros. against each other. Dr. Eggman, who has put the world in danger many times with his dastardly schemes, has decided to join up with Sonic and company to fight against their rivals. Bowser, on the other hand, has attempted to enslave the Mushroom Kingdom and kidnap Princess Peach time and time again, but has failed at the hands of Mario and his friends. Now these two have come together today to find out who is truly the better villain!"

Bowser snickered. "You think your little mech can stop me? I'll rip that thing in half."

"The only thing that will be in half is _you_!" Eggman returned. "When my lasers slice you right down the middle!"

"_Fight_!"

Eggman instantly put up a deflector shield as Bowser belched out an intense stream of flames from his mouth. The stream split into many separate ribbons of fire as it bounced off of the shield. Bowser lunged forward and swung his huge claws at the shield, striking it with immense power. "You can't hide behind that thing forever!" Bowser growled as he swung harder, pushing Eggman back with each blow. The strain of Bowser's attack proved too great, and the shield finally broke. Three giant claw marks gashed the front of the now vulnerable Egg Walker. Eggman grinned and pressed a button. A small compartment in the front of the machine flew open, and a giant boxing glove shot out. Bowser was completely taken by surprise as he was hit clean in his stomach.

Eggman took a couple steps back and pressed random buttons. "Get a load of _this_!" The Egg Walker fired a thick laser beam at the hunched over Bowser. This was no doubt the same type of laser that Eggman had used when he fought Tails up on Space Colony ARK. Bowser suddenly laid himself on the ground and retracted his body into his big, spiked turtle shell. The laser struck Bowser's shell dead-on, but had no effect. His shell wasn't even scorched. Eggman slammed his fists on the dash of the Egg Walker. "Damn! What the hell is that thing made out of?"

""You'll have to do better than that," Bowser said as he came out of his shell. "My shell is impenetrable."

"That can happen!" Eggman proceeded to fire everything he had at Bowser, who simply ducked inside his shell. After Eggman ended his onslaught and the smoke cleared, Bowser returned from the protection of his shell, unscathed. Eggman tried to fire again, but nothing happened. He was out of ammo.

Bowser cackled. "What's the matter? Waste all of your ammo? Maybe I can _pound_ a few more shots out of you!" Bowser jumped high into the air, surprising, being that he was so heavy. Once he was over Eggman, he suddenly came plummeting down with surprising force. Eggman was just barely able to evade as Bowser made the small crater the Metal and Samus had created earlier into an even deeper crater. A bead a sweat rolled down Eggman's bald head as he pondered what grisly fate he'd have suffered if he hadn't moved in time. Then, an idea hit him. He could use the crater…

Bowser got up and charged at Eggman. "C'mere!"

Eggman planned his moves carefully as he dodged and maneuvered his way around Bowser's attacks, eventually leading them back to the crater in the floor. As expected, Bowser attempted his 'ground pound' again and came down on the crater, barely missing Eggman. The crater was now much deeper than before. Eggman and Bowser played the same moves over and over again, each time ending with Bowser pounding into the crater.

Bowser smashed into the floor one last time as it finally dawned on him. He was stuck in the deep hole that he had created. He tried to jump out, but couldn't. The hole must have been about twenty feet deep. "Eggman, you bastard!" Bowser roared. "What have you done?"

Eggman thought hard. He couldn't fire on him, but he could do something else. He tapped the side of his Egg Walker. Ah, well. He could always build another one. He pressed a few buttons, causing the jets under the feet of the Egg Walker to activate. Eggman continued to type away at the control panel as he hovered high in the air. He grinned as a computerized voice came through a speaker.

"Self-destruct sequence activated."

Eggman programmed in the angle and trajectory to the Egg Walker as it leaned forward and pointed itself toward the crater, then took off.

"Shit!" Bowser cursed as he hid himself inside his shell.

Eggman jumped out of the Egg Walker when it got close and got away as fast as he could. He turned and watched from the very edge of the ring as the Egg Walker flew straight down the crater. A split second later, a massive column of bright orange flames erupted from the crater. The silhouette of Bowser's shell could be seen within. He was carried up to almost the ceiling before the explosion died down and Bowser's shell dropped heavily next to Mario and Kirby.

Eggman adjusted his glasses.

"Eggman wins the match! An explosive end!" the announcer cried.

Mario's mind was racing. He was sweating. "This…this can't be happening. I underestimated these guys…"

Kirby stood next to Mario, staring at Shadow. He face was expressionless.

Bowser exited from his shell and weakly got up. "Damn you, Eggman…"

"Get out of here, Bowser. We don't need you anymore," Mario said.

Bowser blew his breath. "Fine! But I think I'll take Princess Peach with me as a consolation prize."

Mario's mind snapped out of the situation with the Sonic Team as he turned to Bowser. "Oh, no you fucking _ain't_!"

Bowser raised his eyebrows and grinned. "Oh, I believe I _will_! You can't stop me! You still have to fight!" The giant turtle ran off, laughing like a madman.

Mario turned back to the ring. "_Goddamn it_!"

Sonic watched Mario and Kirby. "Hey Shadow, are you re--huh?" He turned to find that Shadow was already in the ring, ready to fight.

Shadow gripped his Chaos Emerald as he watched Kirby enter the ring. This was it. This was the moment he had been waiting for. Kirby smiled up at him. Shadow wondered if this little bastard was going to take this fight seriously. Shadow knew he would.

He wasn't going to hold back.

"And now," the announcer began. "We have Kirby, who's fighting for his second time, against Shadow. Shadow is actually an experiment that was created fifty years ago by the genius professor Gerald Robotnik. He was cryogenically frozen and released last year by Dr. Eggman in a plot to take over the world," the announcer paused to look at his note cards. "It also says here that Shadow…likes waffles?"

Shadow grinned as he heard Sonic's voice ring out behind him. "_Bullshit_!"

The announcer stepped out of the ring. "_Fight_!"

Shadow and Kirby stared each other down. Neither made a move.

"_Chaos Control_!"

Shadow disappeared in a green flash of light. Kirby's smile disappeared as he turned around and anticipated Shadow's exact position. He was knocked off of his feet as Kirby kicked him in the jaw. Shadow stumbled back and disappeared again. He was trying to avoid being inhaled. As long as he didn't get sucked in, Kirby would be at a disadvantage.

Shadow appeared behind Kirby and kicked him right in the ass. Kirby tumbled some ways across the floor. Shadow smirked as he activated his hover shoes and skated toward his opponent. As Shadow anticipated, Kirby got up and started to inhale. Once Shadow felt himself being pulled in, he simply used Chaos Control to warp out of the vacuum. He appeared once again behind Kirby and slugged him hard with his fist. Kirby cried out in pain as he once again went rolling across the floor. Kirby got up and opened his mouth. Shadow instantly warped out of the way, but Kirby didn't inhale. Instead, he turned around to where Shadow would teleport and slapped the Chaos Emerald out of the hedgehog's hand.

"No!"

Shadow tried to run, but was caught in the vacuum that Kirby had created. Even as fast as Shadow was, he was no match for the intense suction that eventually pulled him in. Kirby held him in his mouth for a second then spit him back out. Shadow hit the ground running and recovered his Chaos Emerald. He looked back to Kirby, who now had adopted Shadow's red eyes, his shoes, and his quills. Last, but not least, the little warrior pulled out a miniature version of Shadow's green Chaos Emerald.

Shadow held his own emerald out in front of him. "So, this is how it's going to be."

Kirby stepped forward.

Shadow stepped forward.

They both charged at each other with increasing speed, emeralds glowing. Both uttered two words.

"Chaaaaoooosss…"

The emeralds glowed brighter.

"_Control_!"

Both emeralds connected, then all hell broke loose.

Brilliant flashes of jade light criss-crossed the ring. Shadow and Kirby couldn't even be seen. Faint sounds of punches, kicks, and shouts of the two fighters could be heard from the ring.

Sonic tried his best to follow the fight, but just ended up giving himself a headache. He had never seen Shadow fight like this before.

The multitude of green bursts suddenly stopped, then Shadow and Kirby appeared in the ring once more. Both were now covered in bruises and scratches, but they didn't even seem to be hurt. Kirby wasn't smiling anymore. Now he looked troubled. Shadow was definitely giving him a run for his money. Shadow growled. "Now it's time to show you why I'm called the _Ultimate Life Form_!"

With unmatched speed, Shadow was suddenly upon Kirby and punched him square in the face. Kirby responded similarly by hitting Shadow right between the eyes. Then they were gone again.

Sonic desperately tried to follow the fight. "Where are you, Shadow?"

Shadow's eyes bulged out of their sockets and saliva flew from his gaping mouth as Kirby dealt him a deadly blow to the stomach. They weren't even confined to the ring anymore. They were in the air over the spectators on one side of the arena. Kirby screamed in pain as Shadow recovered and executed a lightning fast kick to his side. Shadow disappeared as Kirby lunged at him with his fist. Kirby vanished as Shadow swiped at him with his leg. This pattern continued as Kirby appeared behind Shadow, then Shadow appeared behind Kirby, then Kirby behind Shadow, then they both disappeared. Then…

Nothing.

Nothing happened for a full ten seconds. Then a giant green ball of light appeared in the center of the ring. Shadow and Kirby's fists connected with each other's jaws as the light faded. Both fighters flew backwards from the hit and landed on their feet.

The crowds went wild with cheers.

"What a spectacular show!" the announcer shouted. "Shadow and Kirby were all _over_ the place!"

Shadow held his Chaos Emerald in both of his hands. "Enough of this!" He closed his eyes as the Chaos Emerald began to glow brighter and brighter.

Sonic watched intently. "What are you up to…?"

During his stay with Sonic and Tails, Shadow may have _seemed_ like he did nothing but goof around, but actually, he kept up with his training. During his training, he had a developed a new technique, but he had yet to test it. Kirby was about to find this out the hard way.

"I hope this works…," Shadow muttered as he concentrated. The light around the emerald began to expand into a large circle. The circle released itself from the emerald and centered in between Kirby and Shadow. Kirby stood held firm and waited, ready to take on anything. Shadow's eyes suddenly shot open as his Chaos Emerald brightened to pure white. Kirby's eyes widened as the giant green circle also became white in color and started to suck in air. Kirby struggled against the current.

Shadow held the Chaos Emerald forward. "Now, feel my wrath!"

The air current picked up drastically. "No!" Kirby shouted as his Chaos Emerald was sucked into the hole. Kirby struggled with all his might as he was pulled closer to the hole.

"Prepare yourself for my ultimate technique!" Shadow shouted. He smothered the emerald with his hands as he put every last ounce of strength into it.

"Chaos_ Dimension_!"

Kirby screamed as the Chaos Dimension sucked him in, then disappeared.

"My goodness!" the announcer cried. "What happened to Kirby?"

Shadow held his stance for a few more seconds until the Chaos Emerald began to lose power. He finally gave in and fell to his knees, dazed. Another white hole opened up above the ring and Kirby fell out. He hit the floor with a soft thud. He didn't move.

"And Kirby is unconscious! I'll start the count! One!…Two!…Three!…"

Sonic stared in awe. "Man, Shadow…"

"Four!…Five!…Six!…Seven!…"

Mario couldn't believe it. "What…what the hell just happened?"

Shadow was still on his knees, holding the Chaos Emerald and staring at Kirby.

"Eight!…Nine!…_Ten_! Shadow wins the match!"

The arena erupted with cheers for Shadow as he fell forward and collapsed onto the floor from exhaustion. Sonic was instantly by his side. He picked him up and brought Shadow back to the others. He handed Shadow to Espio. "Take him to the locker room and let him rest." Espio nodded and headed off to the locker room, Shadow over his shoulder.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen," The announcer boomed. "This next match could be the final match of the tournament if the Sonic Team wins another round. Or, the Super Smash Bros. can still win the tournament if the team's only remaining member and team leader, Mario, manages to beat _all_ of the remaining members of the Sonic Team. Sonic Team, please present your fighter!"

This was it. Sonic made his way into the ring. He and the others had come a long way to fight in this tournament. Now, it was just him and Mario. All Sonic wanted to do is beat Mario, save Cream, and get back home to Station Square.

"All right, folks!" the announcer began. "Now, we have the ultimate match up here! First is Sonic the Hedgehog, the insanely popular speed demon that made his first debut on the Sega Genesis! He's come a long way since then, gaining new friends and even new character makeovers in the process! Next, we have Mario of the famous Mario Bros.! He's been saving the princess from evil ever since 1985 with his superior jumping and hammer abilities! He and Sonic have come here today to settle an everlasting score with each other once and for all!"

Sonic crossed his arms and smirked. "Why don't you just forfeit and save us both the trouble? Even if I _do_ lose, the others will be waitin' to smack you up."

Surprisingly, Mario smiled. "I admit, your team is far stronger than I thought, but it doesn't matter if I win or lose, because _you_ will lose the war before this day is through."

Sonic tilted his head. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

The announcer backed out of the ring. "_Fight_!"

Mario executed a right hook to Sonic's jaw, then a left to the other. Sonic then found himself on the receiving end of a flurry of punches and uppercuts. For a pudgy guy, Mario sure was quick. Sonic was nearly pushed to the edge of the ring, but then Mario suddenly let up. "No, let's have some fun, shall we?"

Mario pulled out what seemed to be small red bock with a white exclamation point on all sides of it. "When I break blocks like these, I get special powers," he explained.

"So?" Sonic said, rubbing his jaw.

Mario tossed the block in the air, jumped up, and hit it with his head. Despite the block's small size, a red cap identical to Mario's popped out, only this cap had wings on the side. Mario picked it up and put it on. "Like it?"

"No, you look gay."

Mario took off into the air. "How gay is it when this grants me the power to fly!" Sonic braced himself as Mario sped toward him like a bullet through the air. The hedgehog dodged at the last second, using his speed to evade easily. Mario busted a quick U-turn and caught Sonic off guard. Sonic struggled as Mario carried him high into the air. Both plummeted to the ring with increasing speed, but Sonic managed to break free at the last minute and jump out of Mario's grasp. Both landed on the ground without a scratch.

Sonic placed his hands on his hips. "Is that all you've got?"

Mario pulled out another block. This time, it was green in color. He tossed it up in the air and hit it in the same fashion as the red one. The block exploded and a black, shiny hat popped out. It appeared to be made of metal. Mario caught it mid-air and put it on. Right away, his whole body was transformed into black, shiny metal. Then Mario stood there, daring Sonic to attack him.

"No problem," Sonic said coolly as he sped forward and delivered his best kick to the side of Mario's head. Sharp pain shot through Sonic's leg as it hit the metal. Mario didn't even budge an inch. Sonic yelped in pain as he clutched his foot. Mario took this chance to assault with his best moves. Sonic could swear he saw stars as a metal clad fist collided with his face. The blue hero was sent skidding on the floor as Mario lumbered heavily toward him. As Mario ran, the ground shook and he left small indentations in the floor wherever he stepped. Sonic got up and let loose his best homing attack, but it just bounced right off of Mario's steel skin. As soon as Sonic landed, Mario was right there waiting for him. Sonic suffered blow after blow as Mario pummeled him for all he was worth. When Sonic finally managed to put some distance in between the two, he pulled out the yellow Chaos Emerald. He thought it might have been a good idea to bring it with him into the fight.

Sonic struggled to steady himself. His vision was blurred. His knees were shaky. He saw Mario walking toward him as he raised the emerald high.

"_Sonic Wind_!"

A glowing, blue tornado enveloped Mario as it's deadly winds threatened to carry him off high into the air. Sonic grinned. "Let's see you get through that one, bitch." His grin quickly flipped to terror as he watched Mario. Mario was still inside the tornado, on the ground, and still walking toward him. Sonic growled.

On to plan B.

Mario charged toward Sonic, but Sonic moved at the last second. Sonic used his agility to dodge every single one of Mario's attacks. Sonic ducked under a punch. "That metal's making you too slow." This seemed to finally click with Mario, as he stopped his assault. Sonic watched as Mario backed up to the center of the ring and took off the hat.

"You're lucky that you're so damn quick," Mario looked up to a familiar clinking sound above the ring. "…But I'm luckier."

Sonic also looked up to see something fall from the item box on the ceiling. It appeared to be a red and white speckled mushroom. It landed on Mario's head and vanished. He cackled as he started to grow in size. "How will you be able to dodge me now, Sonic? You'll soon have nowhere to run to!"

"No way…," Sonic muttered as he watched Mario continue to grow until he was eye to eye with the item box in the ceiling.

"Mario has grown to gigantic proportions by touching a Super Mushroom!" the announcer exclaimed. "In the Mario universe, the Super Mushroom grants the user to grow in size!"

Mario took one giant step forward. "Now what will you do?" He suddenly brought his giant fist down into the ground, barely missing Sonic by inches. Sonic tried to move as fast as he could, given the limited amount of space. "Where are you, Sonic?" Mario bellowed as he stomped down hard on the ring floor, attempting to crush Sonic. Then his other fist came crashing down.

"_Right here_!"

Sonic raced up Mario's outstretched arm and executed a homing attack right to his nose. The pure force of Sonic's attack knocked Mario off his feet, as he went down hard with a frustrated cry. Sonic jumped on top of Mario's face and performed repeated homing attacks. Mario's head was driven deeper and deeper into the floor as Sonic continued. It was too late for Sonic to see the giant hand that came up, grabbed him, and smashed him into the floor.

Sonic lay face up on the floor as he saw Mario's looming figure over him. Mario raised his foot up. "Time to say good night!" What Mario didn't notice is that another mushroom had fallen from the item box and dissipated on his shoulder. Mario immediately began to shrink in size. "Huh? What's going on?"

"It appears that Mario has come in contact with a Poisonous Mushroom!" the announcer exclaimed.

"A Poisonous Mushroom? No!" Mario was almost to his regular size.

The announcer continued. "A Poisonous Mushroom shrinks the user who comes into contact with it to _half_ their normal size!"

Sonic slowly and painfully turned his head to see that Mario was now no taller the width of his own head. Sonic wearily got to his feet and picked Mario up in his fist. "Hey!" Mario screamed in his now comical small voice. "What are you doing to me, you piece of shit? _Put me down_!"

"Shut up," Sonic muttered. He tiredly walked to the edge of the ring as threw Mario to the ground, out of bounds.

"Sonic wins the match!" the announcer shouted excitedly. "The Sonic Team wins the tournament! _The Sonic Team wins the tournament_!"

The arena shook with cheers and applause as the chants of 'Sega!' reverberated throughout. Sonic sighed as he sat on the ground and tilted his head back. "It's finally over." He was met by the rest of his teammates in the ring, who helped him to his feet.

Rouge, Amy, and Vector all jumped for joy as they watched Sonic and the others on the television screen. Shadow opened his eye a little. "Hmph."

Balloons and confetti fell lazily in the air around the arena for the Sonic Team's victory.

Among the group of our 'special' spectators, some were missing that victory celebration. Li and Sakura weren't in their seats. In another part of the arena, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, and Shippo were all standing up, trying to see the victory celebration. "Hey, Inuyasha. Can you see?" Kagome asked. "…Inuyasha?"

He was gone.

ooo

"Hey, Li! Are you sure you sensed something?" Sakura asked as she and Li ran down a hallway. Li got his talismans ready. "Yes, it's coming from that storage room we passed earlier."

When they reached the storage room, they were met with Inuyasha. Li looked him up and down. "Who are you?"

Inuyasha scowled. "Outta the way kid! Something evil is lurkin' behind this door."

"Exactly what I thought," Li took one of his talismans out and struck it with his sword. "Fire!" Intense flames shot out a the door, surprising Inuyasha. Soon, a scorched, gaping hole led a way through the door. They gasped at what they saw.

Cream the Rabbit hung in the far corner, shackled to the wall. She was unconscious. A rectangular coffin lay in front of her. Dark smoke was leaking out of the coffin.

Inuyasha withdrew his sword. "It's coming from that coffin!"

As soon as he said that, the lid of the coffin slid off, and filled the room with the black smoke. Sakura coughed and covered her mouth. "What's going on?"

The smoke swirled around Cream as it enveloped her in darkness. The shadowy mist was absorbed into Cream's body and disappeared.

"No…," Li uttered. "It did something to that girl."

Cream's eyes suddenly shot open. She broke free from her shackles and flew out of the room. She cackled as she zoomed down the hallway toward the arena.

Mario finally returned to his normal size as Sonic picked him up by his shirt. "I'm only going to ask you once: _where is Cream?_"

Mario chuckled, then started to laugh. "You fools. Didn't I tell you even if you won the tournament, you would still lose the war?"

Sonic tightened his grip on Mario's shirt. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

At that moment, Cream busted through the entrance to the arena. She still wore her same red sun dress with the little yellow ascot around her neck, but something was wrong with her. Her eyes were an uncanny shade of yellow. She wore an insane grin on her face.

Mario smiled fiendishly as Sonic dropped him to the ground. "Your friend belongs to the Shadow Queen now…"

* * *

**The Sonic Team has finally prevailed and won the Rose Tournament, but now something has happened to their friend, Cream.**

**And who is this 'Shadow Queen'? Can the Sonic Team stop her? Find out next chapter!**


	15. Cream: Pawn of the Shadows

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic.

* * *

**

_30 minutes remain…_

Bullshit.

Bull-fucking-shit.

That seemed to be Sonic's favorite curse word of choice now as he looked from Cream to Mario. Mario was laid back on the floor, laughing. "Now that the Shadow Queen has possessed your friend, you'll all die!"

Sonic grabbed him by his shirt collar and lifted him up. "Shadow Queen? _Shadow Queen_? Look, I have enough trouble putting up with _Shadow_, but now there's a Shadow _Queen_? You done fucked up now!"

Mario's smile never disappeared. "Don't you get it? The Shadow Queen needs a body of pure heart and soul to possess. That's why I kidnapped the rabbit. This whole tournament was just to bide time until the Shadow Queen was ready to commence the process."

Sonic held him closer. "You don't when to stop, do you? You just keep pushin' my buttons!"

Mario scoffed. "We're arch _rivals_! That's what I do! That's my thing!" He tugged at his shirt. "You want to let go of me, now? You're stretchin' my shirt."

"Goddamn it…," Sonic dropped Mario and turned his attention to Cream, who still wore her insane grin, and was now radiating with a dark aura.

The whole arena hushed up as the announcer's voice suddenly came. "Wait a second! Who is this new challenger that has just arrived?"

In a burst of darkness, Cream vanished and reappeared in front of a surprised announcer and snatched the microphone out of his hand. "You fools do not realize the danger that you are in!" Cream's voice now seemed to be a combination of her normal voice and a deep, raspy, demonic voice. "All of your souls will now belong to _me_!" With that, she raised her arms and an explosion of dark power engulfed the arena.

Terrified screams echoed from all around as mass panic ensued. Hundreds of people were making mad dashes toward all available exits.

A scared announcer ran for his life as Cream lowered her arms. "Now, whose souls shall I devour first?" She turned her attention to Sonic and the others and pointed at them. "_You_, the Sonic Team, shall be the first of my victims!"

Sonic groaned heavily as his face contorted into a pout. "Aww, come _on_! We just got _finished _fighting! Damn it! I just want to go home and go to sleep!" He turned to Mario to give him some much needed cussing out, but he was gone. Sonic nodded his head as if he knew that was going to happen. "Of course…"

_22 minutes remain…_

Shadow still lay in the locker room. He was still too exhausted to move...

Tails couldn't take his eyes off of Cream. "This is _not_ good…"

Vector wasn't about to just stand there. He turned to Charmy and Espio. "Come on, guys! We can't let Sonic fight this one alone!"

"Right!"

Team Chaotix charged into the ring and grouped with Sonic. Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Rouge followed the lead and entered the ring as well.

The arena was almost half empty now.

Cream looked around her as she was now surrounded by practically the whole Sonic Team. She cackled. "It doesn't matter how many of you there are! You're no match for my powers!"

Sonic relayed his info to the others. "Listen! Cream is still in there somewhere, so we need to watch how we fight!"

Everyone nodded.

Cream's ears and her dress fluttered about as the dark aura surrounding her grew bigger.

"Predictable," Cream stepped aside as Sonic rolled past her with a Sonic Spin. She was instantly assaulted by Knuckles and Vector, who attacked with punches and kicks. She calmly walked backwards as she blocked each and every one of Vector's blows with one arm, the same to Knuckles with her other arm. Her palms glowed with dark energy as she blew both Knuckles and Vector out of the ring. Cream took off into the air as Tails pursued her, shooting light stun blasts from his guns. Cream swept her arm as a dark purple shield formed around her and deflected the blasts. Charmy and Rouge followed up behind Tails, ready to attack. Cream simply called her dark powers to her palms and shot small, spherical bursts of dark energy toward the three. The balls of darkness hit their marks as Charmy, Tails, and Rouge were sent careening into different parts of the arena.

Cream's eerie yellow eyes glowed as she set her feet back on the ground, then swung an elbow behind her. A sharp cry of pain was heard as Espio became visible and dropped to the ground. Cream grinned, turned back around, and was struck with the Piko-Piko Hammer. Amy smirked. "I got plenty more where that came from!"

The hammer stayed on Cream's cheek as she turned her head toward Amy, seemingly unfazed by the attack. Cream reached up, grabbed the hammer with one hand, and shot a dark blast with the other. Amy then joined the others outside of the ring as her hammer was thrown next to her.

Cream cackled again as her dark aura seemed to become stronger with every passing second. "Look at you all!_ Pathetic_! I told you fools that you would be no match for my power, but would you listen? Noooooo-"

_**Bam!**_

Cream's aura disappeared as Sonic's fist sent her sliding across the ring floor. Sonic smirked. "Aren't you forgettin' someone?"

Cream got up quickly and trained menacing, yellow eyes on Sonic. "_Fool_! You dare sucker-punch the Shadow Queen like she's _Mike Tyson_?"

Sonic crossed his arms. "Yes. Yes I do."

Having formally introduced herself, the Shadow Queen's demonic voice grew deeper as she pointed her palm at Sonic. "You will join you friends." Before she could conjure up her dark powers, she was put down again. This time, she flew out of the ring and onto the floor next to an out-cold Knuckles. Shadow rubbed his cheek and stretched his neck. "Hey faker! Did I miss anything?"

"No. And _quit calling me faker_! You're the faker! You hear me?"

The Shadow Queen opened her eyes to see Knuckles laying across from her. He grinned in his dream-like state. "Hey, baby. How's about I take you to Victoria's Secret and get you those G-strings…"

She stared at him, then scooted away. "Sicko," She muttered in her demonic voice. "I'm in an eight year old's _body_ for pete's sake."

"Hey!" Shadow called. "Are you gonna lay there all day? I have to get home and eat my _waffles_!"

The Shadow Queen rose to her feet to find that everybody (except Knuckles) had recovered and had trained their attention on her. Knuckles, however, was still on the floor, muttering and grinning in his sleep.The Shadow Queen took to the air and looked down over everybody. "So, you still want to continue? So be it!"

She opened her mouth and let the darkness flow out. The aura seemed to be leaving her body and forming into a shape around Cream's body. The began to shape itself into a body. The lower half came first, which was only composed of a ghostly tail. The top half came next. Long, dark arms sprouted outward as the head became visible. A mouth formed on the head as well as long, white hair. A large, gold crown rested on top. Finally, the middle was formed. Sonic and the others gasped as the middle took the shape of a human rib cage. Inside the rib cage, floated the body of Cream. The true form of the Shadow Queen was now complete.

The Shadow Queen pointed a long arm at the Sonic Team. Her red eyes glowed. "Now, you will witness my _true_ power!"

ooo

_18 minutes remain…_

The bathroom door burst open as Eggman walked out, holding a newspaper. "Man, that was _heaven_!"

Metal was leaning against the wall, sipping from his flask. "Look, I don't know what you've been eatin', but when I walked in that bathroom, the smell damn near stripped the paint _right _off of my body."

Eggman made his way back the arena. "Go to hell."

ooo

The Shadow Queen grinned as she floated in place. Sonic and the others were attacking her with all they had now, but to no effect. Every single attack, whether it was Vector's punches, Rouge's kicks, Tails' laser shots, or Sonic and Shadow's homing attacks, just bounced right off of the Shadow Queen's body. Sonic and the others retreated back to the ring, where there were breathing hard from the efforts.

The Shadow Queen cackled. "What's the matter? Getting tired? Need to take a _nap?_ Bwuahahahahaha!"

Sonic tried to catch his breath as he struggled to think of a way to bring the demon down and free Cream. The Shadow Queen's body was impenetrable.

The Shadow Queen drew closer to the Sonic Team. "Am I too hard for you? Maybe I'll have a little fun." The demon's body began to expand greatly as little bits and pieces of her body broke off and dropped to the ground. Each chunk of the queen's body that hit the ground began to spawn into little bodies of their own. Each of the mini demons had the Shadow Queen's features, minus the crown. Soon, there were about a hundred of them.

The Shadow Queen pointed at the Sonic Team. "I'd like you to meet my Shadow Children!"

The Sonic Team looked around them in fear and exhaustion as the Shadow Children easily surrounded and outnumbered them. The children were grinning and laughing maliciously. They eyed the Sonic Team like hungry wolves.

Tails backed closer to Sonic. "I-I'm scared, Sonic!"

"Don't be, Tails. We'll get through this."

Sonic got into his fighting stance once more. _There's too many of them!_ He thought. _How are supposed to fight against all of them?_

Amy let out a yelp as one of the Shadow Children leaped at her. She closed her eyes as she waited for the attack, but it never came. Amy slowly opened her eyes to see that the small demon was being held in the air by a pair of talons. The child screeched as Cel flipped in mid-air and threw it into the nearest wall with her feet. She landed just as Silhouette rushed up and clothes-lined another shadow child. She grinned. "I love doing that."

Amy didn't recognize them. "Who are you guys?"

Silhouette put a hand on her hip as she, Cel, and Cinder went into pose. "Team Flash. We're here to help."

Suddenly, the Shadow Children found _themselves_ surrounded. Yami-Yugi and Jonouchi stood outside the ring, Duel Monsters cards at the ready. Kaiba and Mokuba were positioned on the opposite side of the arena. They also took out their own cards. Marik was floating above the ring, nachos and Millennium Rod in hand. Geese, Rock, Terry, and Akuma were all in the arena, ready to kick some ass. Soon, all the 'special' guests had showed up, ready to fight.

_14 minutes remain…_

The Shadow Queen glared around at all the fighters. "Oh, so I guess this is just one big, giant cross-over, huh? Oh, sure! Let's all gang up on the Shadow Queen!" She raised her arms. "Shadow Children, _attack_!" The queen suddenly saw a faint, yellow glow above her. She looked up. "What!"

"_Wind Scar!_"

The Tetsusaiga would have cut through the Shadow Queen like butter, if not for the shield she put up just in time. Inuyasha growled as he pointed his sword at the demon. "Damn, I though that would work."

"Fool!" the Shadow Queen swept her hand, blowing Inuyasha away. "The Shadow Children can take care of you!"

The battle royale commenced as the heroes (and some villains) fought against the Shadow Children.

Ivy used her weapon with expertise as she dispatched demon after demon. Nightmare swung his big sword to take out multiple enemies all at once. Geese was having a grand old time lobbing Reppu-Kens left and right. Occasionally (almost always), he would throw projectiles in Terry's direction, prompting a battle within a battle between the two of them. Kaiba used his Blue Eyes White Dragon card to easily take care of some demons. Yami-Yugi used his infamous Dark Magician card to obliterate the opposing forces. Marik had the easiest time of all. He just floated in the air and used his Millennium Rod to send the demons to the Shadow Realm.

Akuma was flawless in his fight. He used his notorious 'Ashura Warp' technique, which allowed him to slide around on one foot with great speed to evade attackers. Li and Sakura used their magic Clow Cards to call forth the elements and smite their foes. Sonia and Akira, _still_ in their security garb, where doing it 'old school' by just clubbing the hell out of the demons with their batons.

Among the midst of the demons, Team Flash held their own. Cel kicked one demon away, but was instantly punched by another. She turned, rubbed her jaw, and smiled evilly. "C'mere you little bastard…"

Cinder was stuffing bars of soap into the demon's mouths, which somehow managed to incapacitate them. The echidna rubbed her hands together. "Soap solves _everything_."

Silhouette punted a demon through the air as she backed up to a wall. A few frightened people were still in the stands. Silhouette noticed them. "Hey, get out of here! It's not safe!" The people stared at her, dumbfounded. Silhouette lost it. "_I said get out of here_! _Do it now before I start_ _slappin' folks_!" Terrified, the people finally ran off.

_10 minutes remain…_

The Sonic Team had been managing to hold their own for a while, but now they were starting to lose. "That's it," Sonic muttered, then shouted up to Tails, who was in the air. "Tails!" Tails recognized the look in Sonic's eye. The fox tossed the object down to Sonic and waved to him. Sonic called to Shadow. "Shadow, hurry and bring your emerald over here!"

The Shadow Queen watched in glee as the battle went on, then frowned as she saw a bright glow of light. The light was so bright, that practically everybody had stopped fighting. Suddenly, an explosion came from within the midst of the Shadow Children. The Shadow Queen uncovered her eyes. "What was that?" Her eyes widened when she saw.

Two hedgehogs stood in the middle of the group of demons and others. One glowed gold in color, the other more of a shinier, lighter gold. Super Sonic and Super Shadow had emerged.

The Shadow Queen writhed in pain as Sonic and Shadow attacked her from both sides, not wasting a second. The queen instantly conjured up more powerful versions of her shadow balls, but Sonic and Shadow were too quick to be hit by them.

Sonic merely raised his finger. "Sonic Wind."

The Shadow Queen let out a scream as she was carried up by the wind, and then stomped back down by Sonic. The demon hit the ground with tremendous force, adding yet another crater to the arena.

"Sonic!"

Sonic moved out of the way just as Shadow came down on the queen. He then proceeded to attack the rib cage with repeated punches in an attempt to break Cream free. The Shadow Queen could do nothing than simply take the punishment, as Shadow's attacks came at insane speeds. The royal demon was pushed further and further into the ground by Shadow's assault. When Shadow finished, the rib cage was still intact.

Shadow growled. "What the hell's that thing _made_ out of?"

The Shadow Queen slowly got up. "You'll have to do better than that. The girl belongs to _me_ now!"

"We'll see about that!" Sonic rushed forward and punched the queen right in the face.

The queen's eyes widened, then closed tightly as she stumbled back. She kept a hand over her face. "OWWW! Damn it!" she screamed, the waved her other hand and Sonic and Shadow. "Wait a second! Hold up! Time out!"

Sonic lowered his fists. "What the fuck is this? You can't be callin' no _'time-out'_!"

"No! I'm serious!" the queen stumbled around. "Oww! _Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!_"

Shadow settled back on the ground. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

The Shadow Queen pointed accusingly at Sonic. "_That fucker hit me in my eye_!"

Sonic groaned. "Oh, come _on_! Who the hell cares?"

"_I _care!" the queen shouted, clutching her eye with a dark hand. "You don't hit somebody in the eye while you're fightin'! It's like an unwritten rule!"

Sonic shook his head. "This whole day has just been _bullshit_, after _bullshit_, after _bullshit_. I'm serious."

The Shadow Queen snapped her fingers. "Shadow Children! I need your attention!"

All of the remaining Shadow Children stopped their battles and grouped in front of the Shadow Queen.

The queen spoke softly in her demonic voice. "All right, I need your help on this, okay? Now tell me. Who has Mommy's eye drops?"

No one answered.

The Shadow Queen glared at them. "Oh, so we're playing the Silent Game, now? Are we playing the Silent Game, now? If I don't get an answer, I'll stop this battle right now and we'll go right back home!"

Finally, one of the Shadow children raised its hand and pointed to another child. "No. 27 has them."

The Shadow Queen turned her glare on No. 27. "Do you have my eye drops, No. 27? Give them to Mommy."

No. 27 sheepishly floated up to the Shadow Queen and handed her the bottle of eye drops. The Shadow Queen patted No. 27's head. "Hopefully, next time I'll only have to ask once."

No. 27 swung around and pointed. "It was all No. 43's fault! He gave me the eye drops!"

No. 43 protested from the back of the group. "No! He's lyin' Mommy! I never go into your medicine cabinet at night!"

The Shadow Queen waggled a finger at both of them as she spoke in a stern tone. "Hey, hey, hey. Do I have to give you two a time-out in the Forbidden Zone? Huh? Want to spend a little time in the Forbidden Zone? Because I'll take you there right now."

Both children looked down at the ground and shook their head.

"All right."

The Shadow Queen tilted her head back and administered the eye drops to her soar eye. She blinked a couple times and finally turned her attention back to Sonic and Shadow, who were still in their super forms. The Shadow Queen rubbed her eye. "I'm getting too old for this shit."

_5 minutes remain…_

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Can we proceed? I'm fuckin' down to 25 rings over here."

And so, the battle continued.

Inuyasha hacked and slashed at the Shadow Children, as Kagome and the others stayed close to him. Miroku used his infamous 'Wind Tunnel' technique to suck the demons into the intense vacuum. Sango used her giant boomerang, called 'Hiraikotsu' to take down many enemies. Kagome used her Sacred Arrows to shoot down the demons.

Try as they might, Sonic and Shadow still couldn't damage the Shadow Queen, even in their super forms. Shadow flew back as he levitated side by side with Sonic. "Have you thought of anything, yet?"

Sonic shook his head. "I've tried everything I could think of. Nothing is working."

That was the moment that Kagome decided to shoot one of her arrows at the Shadow Queen. The sacred arrow struck the queen dead in the chest. To Sonic and Shadow's surprise, the arrow emitted a pink glow and dissipated some of the queen's barrier. "Ow!" she screamed. "_Who the fuck did that?_"

"Hey, you! Girl!" Sonic shouted.

Kagome looked around, then saw Sonic and Shadow up in the air. "Who, me?"

"Yeah, keep shooting those arrows of yours! I think those are the only things that can damage the Shadow Queen!"

Inuyasha looked at Kagome as it hit him. "Of course, Kagome! Your Sacred Arrows are weapons of purity, so they're perfect tools against demons!"

_Ten seconds left…nine…eight…_

Kagome shot another arrow at the Shadow Queen. Again, the arrow struck her rib cage. She yelped. "Ow! Damn it! Who the shit keeps doing that?"

_Six…Five…Four…_

"Take this!" The Shadow Queen shot off shadow blasts in random directions.

_Three…Two…One…ZERO._

Eggman sat in the stands, eating popcorn. "Heh. Fight, hedgehog, fight! This is classic."

Metal was just about to take a sip from his flask, when a shadow ball struck it, destroying it completely. He watched as the wonderful oil and WD-40 slipped through his hands.

It was gone.

Metal's red eyes glowed bright as his pupil's turned small. He let out a menacing growl. "Damn…_you_…"

Eggman glanced at Metal. "…Metal?"

The ground began to shake as Metal began to grow in size. His metallic quills began to lengthen and stretch down his back. Blue spikes grew out of his arms and legs as a long tails sprouted from his behind. All of this was happening while the robot continued to grow and grow.

Nearly everybody had turned around to see what the commotion was about. Sonic and Shadow stared in awe.

It was happening again.

Metal Sonic had reached his true form once more.

The Shadow Queen was the last to turn around. When she finally did, she found herself face to face with the Metal Overlord. Metal was now many times bigger than the Shadow Queen.

Metal roared. "_You destroyed...my flask_!"

This was their chance. Sonic turned and shouted to Kagome. "Hey! Shoot some more of your arrows at the queen!"

Kagome complied and shot five arrows in rapid succession. All of the arrows hit their mark.

The queen stumbled back and gasped as her protective rib cage was blasted away. Sonic rushed in real quick and snatched Cream from the center of the Shadow Queen. Shadow then knocked her back into the waiting hands of Metal Overlord.

"Let go of me!"

Metal flew clear through the room of the arena and into the night air. "_Now, I will send you to_ _oblivion_!" Metal hurled the Shadow Queen straight up into the air as his chest opened up and a huge cannon came out.

"_Chaos Laser!_"

A titanic, red laser beam lit up the night sky as a screaming Shadow Queen was carried in its grasp all the way into outer space, soon to be disintegrated into cosmic dust.

Everybody watched in awe as the cannon retracted back into Metal's body. His body began to shrink and revert back. Metal Sonic was back to his regular form before he touched back down on the ground.

Everybody started cheering. The Shadow Queen had been defeated. There was now no sign of the Shadow Children.

Sonic and Shadow fell back onto the ground as they reverted back to their normal forms. Mario and the Super Smash Bros. were gone. The Shadow Queen was gone as well.

The tournament was truly over.

* * *

**Thanks to Metal Sonic and his miraculous transformation, the Sonic Team, along with the help of some unexpected friends, have triumphed over the Shadow Queen and her Shadow Children. **

**Our heroes will finally be able to return home and relax!**


	16. A Touch of Nostalgia

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic.**

* * *

Tails sighed and smiled to himself. It was good to be back home. 

A few days had passed since the conclusion of the Rose Tournament and everybody was glad it was over. After making sure all of the people got out of the arena safely, Eggman quickly herded everybody into the Egg Hummer and promptly left. On the way home, Metal Sonic was congratulated by the others for defeating the Shadow Queen. Metal shook his head, saying that the Shadow Queen should have _never _destroyed one blue robot's flask. He was thrown into a mild depression over his flask while he drove the team back to Station Square. It was then later revealed that Metal had _another _flask in a hidden compartment under his left arm. Thus, Metal Sonic returned to his drunken, stupor-ridden self.

Cream was also consoled and taken special care of. She was assured that she would be taken safely home to her mother, Vanilla. She couldn't wait to get back home and be reunited with her mother and her pet chao, Cheese.

Upon dropping everybody else off at their homes, the Egg Hummer stopped at the Mystic Ruins. While Tails and Shadow got out, Sonic and Eggman exchanged thanks for not trying to kill each other during their 'truce'. Afterwards, Eggman promptly told Sonic to 'get the fuck out of my car, and don't come around my base no more.' Sonic smirked, flipped him off, and watched as the Egg Hummer tore down the mountain.

Snapping himself back to the present, Tails glanced at Sonic and Shadow from his position on the couch. Both hedgehogs had been strangely quiet this morning. Ah, well. Tails shrugged and went back to watching T.V.

Sonic and Shadow sat at opposite ends of the kitchen table, eating their breakfast in silence. For once, Sonic was able to eat his pancakes in peace, while Shadow ate his waffles. Sonic knew, for a fact, that he wasn't going to be able to _fully_ enjoy his breakfast. Somehow, someway, Shadow was going to fuck breakfast up like he did _every_ morning.

Sonic took a bite of pancake, his eyes glancing between his plate and Shadow. Shadow worked his knife and fork through his last waffle and ate calmly. He knew Sonic was watching him as he reached for the syrup bottle at the center of the table.

Their eyes met for a split second.

_I see you, Shadow,_ Sonic thought as Shadow casually poured syrup onto his waffle.. _You ain't fuckin' up my pancakes today. _Sonic's eyes went back down to his plate as he started on his last pancake. He heard the faint sound of Shadow setting the bottle back on the table. _Maybe I'll be able to enjoy breakfast at home for once, _Sonic thought as he reached for the syrup. He turned the bottle upside-down and squeezed.

Nothing.

Sonic could already feel his blood pressure rising as his green eyes slowly rose to observe an empty bottle. Sonic slowly looked back down at his plate to see a big, dry, _syrup-less_ pancake. He brought his eyes back up to Shadow, who raised a big syrup-drenched chunk of waffle to his mouth, grinning.

Shadow had done it again.

The bottle fell and clattered to the floor as Sonic slammed his hands on the table and stood up. "Let's step outside."

Shadow was already up out of his chair cracking his knuckles. "Anytime, bitch."

A startled Tails looked with concern as Sonic and Shadow hastily made their way to the front door. "Hey, guys! What's-"

"Not now, Tails," Sonic interrupted as he opened the door and headed out, Shadow following closely behind him.

Tails sighed as shouts and cusses came from outside the house. "Well, at least they have the decency to fight _outside_…"

Ten minutes later, Two bruised hedgehogs re-entered the house.

Tails glanced over at them from his spot on the couch. "Are you two about done, now?"

Sonic grunted a reply. Shadow didn't answer.

"Why do you two _always_ fight over breakfast?" Tails queried. "I don't understand."

"Talk to Shadow," Sonic said, sitting down on the floor. "He's the one _who took all the fucking_ _syrup_!"

"Your ass was too slow!" Shadow shot back, sitting next to Tails. "You should have got some before I used it!"

Sonic resorted to using his favorite word again. "_Bullshit_! There was, like, a _quarter_ of the bottle left, and you took it _all_! When you put syrup on something, you just need a few drizzles _here_…" Sonic held his hands up to make like he was pouring syrup. "…and a few drizzles _there_! You don't use the whole fuckin' _bottle_!"

"Aww, I'm sorry," Shadow cooed, patting Sonic on the head. "I won't use so much next time."

"Yeah, you will," Sonic pouted. "That was Mrs. Buttersworth, too. You don't waste good shit like that."

"_Anyway_…," Tails intervened. "My radar detected some Chaos Emeralds not too far from the vicinity, but I can't determine their exact locations. You guys wanna search for them?"

Shadow raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, one of those could be my Chaos Emerald. We should look for it."

Sonic leaned his head on his hand as he sprawled out of the floor. "Yeah. Judging from the way I decked your ass outside, you _need_ it."

Shadow kicked Sonic's arm out from under his head, causing it to bang on the floor.

"Ow, fucker!"

"Guys, guys!" Tails came between them before another fight could ensue. "Let's go and get the Tornado ready."

Minutes later, the plane was up in the air. Shadow chose to take the vacant seat behind Tails, leaving Sonic to take his favorite position on the center of the plane wings. Tails scanned the radar screen in front of him. The signal seemed to get stronger as they headed out further over the ocean. This was the only thing that he hated about using the Chaos Emeralds. After being used, they would scatter all across the planet to be sought after again. Tails guessed that it was to keep their powers from being abused too much.

Sonic squinted as a giant structure began to come into view. It appeared to be humongous castle that stretched for miles on end. A huge, glass dome surrounded the castle, supposedly for protection. Streams of water could be seen spraying out of random small windows that dotted the smooth stone walls.

Tails' voice suddenly came through the strong wind. "Hold on! I'm taking 'er down!"

The landing gear of the plane began to transform into long, ski-like objects as the Tornado neared the ocean's surface. Water splashed all around as the plane skipped across the water and started to slow down. Soon, thanks to the buoyancy of the 'landing gear', the Tornado floated lazily at the entrance of the dome.

Shadow hopped off of the plane next to Sonic and Tails. "What the hell is this place?"

"Yeah," Sonic looked around. "I don't remember no damn castle floatin' out in the middle of the ocean…"

Tails chuckled. "Don't you remember, Sonic? This is Hydro City."

"Oh, yeah!" Sonic gawked, then rubbed his chin. "Hydro City? I thought we killed this place."

Tails stared at him. "…Killed?"

Sonic shrugged. "You know. Destroyed. Beat."

Tails continued to stare. "The _level_. You mean to say that we beat the _level_. In the video game."

"Yeah, that's what I said."

Shadow tapped his foot impatiently. "Are we going to go inside? I'm tired of listening to that faker's stupidity!"

Once inside, the gang laid eyes upon many water slides. They criss-crossed the spacious room, making it impossible to tell which led to where.

Tails instantly lost all maturity and bolted for the nearest slide. "Come on, guys! I wanna go on one!"

Sonic eyed the slides with slight fear. "Um, Tails? You know I don't do good around water, right?"

Tails took a step back from the slide and stared at him. "You mean to tell me after all this time, you _still_ can't swim?"

Sonic lowered his head. "You know I've been meanin' to take lessons…"

"Don't worry about it," Shadow said putting a hand on Sonic's shoulder. "I can't swim, either, but I'll go if you go."

Sonic began to walk toward the slide. "All right."

"Look," Tails said. "All I know is you guys better be hittin' up those air bubbles underwater if you don't want to drown." With that said, Tails let out a joyous shout and pushed himself down the slide.

"Man, I don't know about this," Sonic looked down at the long half-tube. "All that water…touchin' my _quills_…"

"Move your ass!"

Shadow shoved Sonic down the slide as he went down also. Tails was having the time of his life as he boldly flew down the slide headfirst. Sonic, however, was _not_ having the time of his life, as he screamed like a little girl the whole way down. He slid down on his back, feet up in the air, arms outstretched, and eyes wide. This was no doubt the familiar feature he took when sliding back in the old Sega days. Right behind Sonic, stood Shadow. Yes, _stood_. Shadow was standing straight up on the slide, arms crossed, waiting patiently for the ride to end. Even with the many twists and turns that the slide had, not _once_ did Shadow fall, or even flinch. He grinned.

The _ultimate life form _goes down water slides with _style_.

Tails crashed into the pool of water below. He managed to catch and hold Sonic up above water so he wouldn't sink. Both of them flinched as Shadow skidded past on the surface of the water, still standing up, arms crossed. Apparently, he was going fast enough that he didn't sink into the water. Tails watched as Shadow came to a stop on a raised platform and shook the water off of him.

"How the hell did he _do _that?" Tails wondered aloud as he pulled Sonic to the platform.

Sonic immediately got to his feet and frantically straightened out his quills. Thanks _goodness_ he used 'maximum hold' hair gel.

Tails looked around. "It looks like this is a dead end."

"How, exactly, are we supposed to _find_ the emerald in this place?" Shadow asked, leaning against the wall.

"Through the bonus stages. What else?"

"Aww!" Sonic whined. "Not those again! I hate those damn stages!"

"Don't worry," Tails consoled. "There are three of us, which increases the chance of getting the emerald. All we need to do is find a giant ring. From the looks of it, we have no choice but to go down."

"Crap," Sonic muttered.

"You heard the boy," Shadow said with a mischievous grin. "Let's…_go_!" Shadow pushed Sonic into the water, to which Sonic promptly sunk like a rock.

"Damn it, Shadow!"

Tails was about to dive in, but Shadow held him back. "Wait, let's see if he can get back up. He needs to learn, doesn't he?"

Tails watched with wide eyes of concern, while Shadow just grinned. Soon, out of nowhere, the warning music from the Sonic games began to play, indicating that Sonic was going to drown. Tails finally dived in the water and came back up with Sonic, who gasped for breath.

As soon as Sonic caught his breath, he grabbed Shadow's leg and flung him into the water. "Take that, bitch!" He then dived back in after Shadow. Tails sighed and leaped in, too.

Sonic and Shadow touched down and the bottom and headed for the nearest cluster of air bubbles. Tails swam after them to collect some precious air. Their search then became a tedious repetition of pushing forward, then stopping to get air.

Finally, all three sprang out of the water, thank to a conveniently place spring pad underwater. Tails hurried forward, then stopped when he noticed no footsteps behind him. He turned to find Sonic and Shadow desperately trying to re-shape their quills.

Tails sighed. "Come on! Worry about that later! We're never gonna get anywhere if you two have to stop every time your hair gets wet!"

"I'm gonna say this _once_, and only _once,_" Sonic started. "**Sonic the Hedgehog** don't go _nowhere _unless his quills are at _peak perfection_!"

"Likewise," Shadow agreed. "It's very hard to keep my _ultimate_ quills _this_ wavy." Shadow gently rubbed his hand on his quills to get them wavy, how he liked them.

"Oh, _brother,_" Tails shook his head as he leaned on a nearby wall…and fell through.

The section of the wall had turned sideways, revealing a secret room with a giant, gold ring inside.

Jackpot.

Tails, Sonic, and Shadow walked up to the ring and jumped through. After a bright flash of light, the crew found themselves standing on what seemed to be a giant sphere. A plethora of smaller blue and red spheres littered the smooth surface of the plain.

A banner floated down in front of the gang. It read: collect all of the blue spheres, but don't touch the red ones!

Sonic groaned. "Not the spheres! _Anything_ but the spheres!"

'Spheres left: 45!' appeared on the banner under the previous instructions.

"_Kch_! Child's play," Shadow scoffed.

"Yeah, but the catch is you can't stop moving once you start going," Tails said.

So, Sonic, Shadow, and Tails all raced around to collect the blue spheres, which changed into red spheres when they were touched. Luckily, it was pretty easy as Sonic collected the last five blue spheres, causing _all_ the spheres around the tiny planet to rise up.

Tails and Shadow caught up to Sonic as a Chaos Emerald floated to the ground. Before Sonic could even move, the emerald was snatched away by Shadow. "It's _mine_!"

Shadow studied the emerald for half a second, then tossed it aside. "Aw, that's just the red one. I want my _green_ one, damn it!"

Tails ran to catch the emerald before it hit the ground. "Geez, Shadow! Don't just throw it away!"

All of the spheres and rings that everybody collected were tallied up to a total, then a familiar chime rang out, indicating that Sonic had earned a 'continue'.

Startled, Sonic looked around. "…The hell was that noise?"

Red Chaos Emerald in hand, the Tornado took off into the bright afternoon sky in search of Shadow's elusive green emerald. Tails once again scanned the radar built into the plane. They soon found themselves heading into a completely different city. Sonic noticed, from his position at the top of the plane, that some of the buildings were lit up, despite it being the afternoon. Giant, sky-scraper buildings pierced the sky with their bright signs and advertisements. Most of them seemed to be luxury hotels.

Tails circled around the outskirts of the city and landed the plane slightly off shore behind some rocks so nobody would notice it. He then lifted Sonic and Shadow to the top of the rocks and set them down to survey the city.

"What is _this _place, now?" Sonic asked, watching all the activity taking place in the distance.

"Well, if it was nighttime right now, we _would_ recognize this place as Casino Night Zone," Tails explained. "But, since it's day, the city looks different."

Sonic eagerly rubbed his hands together. "This was the place with the slot machines, right? Time to win me some _rings_!"

Without waiting for an answer, Sonic jetted down the small mountain to the city, leaving Tails and Shadow to play 'catch-up'.

Sonic was found waiting at the entrance to Casino Night. "What kept you?"

"All right," Tails instructed. "If my memory serves me right, I think we only need to get fifty rings and find a checkpoint to open up the bonus stage."

The gang raced forward until they came to big slot machine floating in the sky. The pictures of Sonic, Tails, and a ring were illuminated on the slot reels.

"I call first!" Sonic raced and hopped on to a flipper. Using it, he launched himself up like a pinball, ricocheted off of a bumper, and landed cleanly inside the slot machine. The pictures on the reels began to spin and randomize themselves until they finally came to a stop.

Ring, Bar, Sonic.

Sonic dropped out of the machine and looked up, disappointed. "Damn."

"My turn!" Tails flew up above the slot machine and dropped himself through.

Eggman, Ring, Eggman.

"Aww!" Tails pouted. "…So _gay_!"

"Stand aside!" Shadow pushed past them and headed for the flipper. "I guess it's up to _me_ to get us some cheddar."

Shadow launched himself off of the flipper, bounced off the bumper, and landed in the machine.

Jackpot, Jackpot,……Knuckles.

"Damn it!" Sonic crossed his arms as Shadow landed. "That bastard isn't even here and _still_, he manages to fuck things up!"

"Wait a minute!" Shadow said suddenly. "...How come there's no _Shadow _face on the those slots?"

Sonic jumped up once more into the slots.

Tails, Tails, Tails.

About sixty rings were collected as Sonic dropped out of the machine, grinning. "Yep, you're looking' at a _high roller_ right here…"

It took a little longer than expected to reach a checkpoint post because Sonic and Shadow kept trying to best each other at the slot machines to see who could win more rings. When they finally reached the checkpoint, Tails touched it, and it began to glow.

"All right, guys!" Tails said. "Get ready to jump through!"

A small ring of stars began to materialize and circle the top of the pole, allowing the team to jump through it and access the bonus stage.

The gang found themselves in a giant half-pipe. There were gold rings scattered all over the place.

**Collect 60 Rings!**

Sonic scoffed. "Is that all?"

…**Collect 360 Rings!**

Sonic shook his fist at the sky. "You think this is funny? You better lower that shit back down!"

**Collect 60 Rings!**

Sonic nodded. "That's what I thought."

"Okay," Tails said. "You guys can get the ground and I can cover the air. This should be no problem."

"All right."

"Fine."

They took off, with Sonic and Shadow collecting rings on the ground, and Tails snatching them out of the air. In no time flat, sixty rings were collected and accounted for.

**Collect 120 Rings!**

Of course, Sonic and Shadow had now began to fight and slap at each other's hands in an effort to get more rings than one another. To make matters worse, little bombs had now been mixed in with the rings, causing anyone who touched them to lose some currency. Sonic flashed a sly grin as he pretended to trip and 'accidentally' push Shadow into a bomb, causing him to fall and lose some rings.

Sonic snickered. "Whoops."

Sonic glanced behind him and desperately sped up as Shadow was coming up behind him at immense speeds.

"Calm down! I was just kid-_aahhh_!" Sonic was tackled to the ground as he and Shadow started rolling down the hill of the now sloped half-pipe.

Tails looked down to see what the commotion was, then shook his head. "I'll just get the rings myself."

Amazingly, both hedgehogs managed to collect every single ring and avoid every single bomb while they were fighting. They finally came to a stop next to a smiling Tails. Shadow rose to his feet and snatched a Chaos Emerald. "All right, faker! You and me!"

"Shadow…," Tails interrupted.

Shadow stopped and realized he was holding his cherished green Chaos Emerald. "My baby!" Shadow rubbed the jewel next to his face. "Don't ever leave me again!"

Tails put his hands behind his head. "Well, we got that over with. You guys think we should look for the other emeralds?"

Sonic dusted himself off and smirked. He had that twinkle in his eyes. That twinkle of _adventure_.

"...Nah, I don't feel like it."

Tails face-faulted. "Don't _feel _like it?"

"Let's just let Eggman find them, then we'll steal the emeralds from him."

Tails shrugged. "Oh, uh…I guess that's cool, too."

ooo

Miles and miles away, there was an abandoned factory that hadn't been used in what must have been the last decade. Dozens of smokestacks jutted out from dilapidated warehouses and office buildings. If Sonic were here, he would have recognized this place as the Scrap Brain Zone, the source of Eggman's robots at one time. Back when Dr. Eggman was called 'Dr. Robotnik'.

Two lone figures stood on top of a warehouse, a giant ring in the center. Without hesitation, they both jumped in.

Dr. Eggman and Metal Sonic set their feet down in Sonic's first bonus stage. Hundreds of multi-colored blocks lined the room that they were in, which was slowly spinning around in a clockwise fashion.

"Okay," Eggman spoke. "What we need to do..._Metal_!"

Metal shot an irritated look to his creator. "_What?_ I hear you! Damn!"

"Pay attent..._look at me_!"

"_What?_ Just because I'm not looking at you doesn't mean that I'm not paying attention!"

"Okay…," Eggman started. "If we do this right, this bonus stage should be really easy. As you know, this whole stage rotates constantly, which doesn't allow much time to keep still. The only thing we need to watch out for are the red 'GOAL' blocks. If we step on those, we'll get thrown out of the stage."

"Okay."

Eggman and Metal slid onto the nearest wall as it now became the floor. Eggman continued. "The Chaos Emerald is at the center of the stage. We'll have to break through a barricade of mini-crystals to get to it." Eggman paused. "Did you get all that?"

"Yeah."

"Do I have to draw you a diagram?"

"No…"

Eggman adjusted his dark glasses. "Then let's go!"

Metal took one step and touched a 'GOAL' block with his foot. One second later, both human and robot were thrown out of the ring as it disappeared.

Metal nonchalantly took a sip from his flask. "Oops."

Eggman lay face down on the ground. He slowly turned his head to glare at Metal. "I hate you. I really do."

* * *

**More coming up...**


	17. Training Day

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic.

* * *

**

It was early morning. Tails sat alone in the den, watching T.V., and eating a large bowl of Cocoa Puffs. That particular cereal wasn't really his favorite, but he needed the immense amount of sugar to deal with Sonic and Shadow all day.

All was quiet throughout the house, which meant that the hedgehogs weren't awake yet.

He then heard muffled voices coming from upstairs. Tails shook his head. He promised himself he wouldn't let his buddies get to him this time. So he just continued to eat his cereal, hoping that the sugar levels would rocket him past the point where even if the house blew up, he wouldn't give a damn.

Tails heard Shadow say something that sounded like 'faker' followed by the words 'whore-sack'. He then distinctly heard Sonic say 'What?'. There was complete silence for about fifteen seconds before the shattering of glass was heard, followed by the body of Shadow rolling off of the roof and falling heavily to the ground outside. Tails calmly got up as he saw Shadow rise to his feet outside, then unlocked the front door and opened it. Shadow barged in, muttering a 'thanks' and charged up the stairs, Chaos Emerald at the ready. Tails closed the door and sat back down to his cereal. He was seemingly unaffected by the muffled shout of '_Chaos Control_!', followed by a raucous explosion from upstairs that shook the whole house.

Tails finished his cereal as dust and little bits of the ceiling drifted to the floor. "I think this needs more sugar…"

The doorbell rang one hour later. Sonic, his fur ruffled and singed in some places, answered the door. His head drooped. "Crap on a crutch…"

Amy squeezed him tight. "Sonikku!"

Sonic calmly pried his fan girl off of him, took out an unknown document, and smiled. "Hey Amy. I couldn't help but notice that you're choosing to disregard the _restraining order_ I put out on you yesterday."

Amy stared at the legal document. "Oh, Sonikku! You don't mean that!"

Sonic held the paper in front of him as if it was the sole protector of his life. "Oh, but I _do_. So, out of curiosity, I was just wondering: _why aren't you in prison yet_?"

Amy giggled. "You know the police around Station Square consider us as personal friends. They wouldn't think of doing that to me. You're so funny!"

Sonic let the paper fall to the ground. Another ingenious plan shot to pieces. Then he had an idea. A _crazy _idea. "Hey Shadow!"

"What?"

"Come on! Where goin' downtown!"

"Waffles!"

Sonic knew that Shadow meant that he hadn't had his waffles yet. "Bring-em with you! I'm callin' Knuckles!"

Amy sat down next to Tails on the couch and smiled up at Sonic."What's on the agenda today, sexy?"

Sonic's eye twitched as he backed away from the couch with the phone in his hand. "Oh, you'll see…"

ooo

A door slammed in Knuckles' face, nearly hitting his nose. He banged his fists against the door, whimpering: "Baby _please_! Don't leave Big Daddy out in the cold!"

Rouge's voice angrily replied from the other side. "Get the fuck off my doorstep, before I call the damn cops!"

Knuckles instantly shut his mouth. She really would call, too. He sulked and dejectedly took off into the skies. Just as he began gliding, his cell phone rang. He took the device out of his 'pocket' and answered. "You got Da Knux Man. Talk to me."

"Hey Knux! Get your ass over here!"

Knuckles pulled the phone a little from his ear. "...Who the hell is this?"

"It's Sonic, you moron! After all these years, you'd think that you'd recognize my voice by now."

As always when pissed, Knuckles got real quiet and spoke in a low voice. "Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

"Look. Just be over here at Tails' house."

Knuckles balled his free hand into a fist. "Oh, I'll be over there, all right. With my _Shovel Claws_! I'm comin' for ya _today_, bitch!"

Sonic hung the phone up. "That ought to get his ass here in a hurry."

"What, exactly, are you planning?" Tails asked.

"You'll see…," Sonic repeated.

Exactly seven minutes later, Knuckles arrived at the door. "Where the hell is Sonic?"

Sonic came out of the kitchen. "Hey, Knux."

Knuckles' amethyst eyes were filled with rage, but he spoke in a casual tone. "Hey Sonic. Why don't you come with me to Angel Island real quick? I need to show you something…." His eye twitched. "Next to the _Master Emerald_."

"Shadow, you ready?" Sonic asked, completely ignoring the echidna.

"Yeah."

"Where are we _going_?" Tails repeated impatiently.

Sonic flashed a small grin. "You'll see…"

Tails rolled his eyes. "Stop _saying _that! Are we going to the store? Because we go there all the time."

Fifteen minutes later, the gang arrived at a large building in downtown Station Square. '**S.S.P.D.**' was spelled out in big, blue letters on the front of the structure.

Sonic turned to the others and spread his arms wide. "Welcome to the Police Department!"

Shadow, immediately, was not having this. "I should choke you were you stand."

"What purpose do we have over here?" Tails asked.

"Well, nothing for you and Amy," Sonic explained. "Knuckles, Shadow, and I, however, are going to become full-fledged _cops_!"

This caught the rest of the gang by surprise. "Cops?" Tails asked in astonishment. "Why cops?"

"Oh, Sonikku! You're so brave!" Amy squealed adoringly.

Shadow scoffed. "Me? Work for some lowly law enforcement? I don't think so."

"Did I tell you that cops get free meals at the Waffle House down the street?" Sonic said. The plan was going _very_ well.

Shadow rubbed his chin. "Waffles, you say?"

Sonic continued. "And Knux, did I tell you that cops get to strip-search anyone who defies our all-powerful _authority_?"

Knuckles got a perverted grin on his face. He knew just who start out with. "Okay, I'm in."

"_Hellooo_!" Tails waved his hands. "What about me and Amy?"

Sonic shook his head. "You guys are too young. You both can come with us and watch us train, though."

"Okay…"

Sonic and the crew found themselves in the lobby at the main desk. A man clad in uniform looked up from his newspaper, surprised. "If it isn't Sonic the Hedgehog! What brings you here?"

Sonic leaned an elbow on the desk. "Good afternoon, sir. My cohorts and I are looking to join 'The Force'.

"Oh, okay. Who all wants to sign up?"

Sonic motioned behind him to Shadow and Knuckles. "Just me and those two over there."

The man handed some forms to the three. "Just fill those out and bring them back to me."

Twenty minutes later, the forms were handed in. The clerk looked them over. "Good, good. Please follow me. We're going to test your driving skills first."

"Uh-oh…," Tails muttered. He didn't like the sound of Sonic in a _car_.

The gang was led outside to a wide open lot where bright orange construction cones lined the pavement. About five police cruisers were parked in a far off corner of the lot. They were greeted by a driving instructor. "Hello. As you all know, in order to become a police officer, your driving skills must be top notch. Now…," he pointed to Sonic. "How about you? All you have to do is navigate the car through the cones without hitting any. Feeling confident?"

Sonic smirked. "Of course! I'm Sonic the Hedgehog, baby!"

"Okay go on ahead and take any car."

Sonic raced over to a vehicle and started it up. The next thing anybody knew, Sonic had somehow gotten the car up on two wheels and was tearing through the course at breakneck speeds. God only knew how he made it through without hitting any of the cones.

The car skidded to a halt in front of the others and Sonic got out, grinning. "Am I bad-ass or what?"

The instructor, wide eyed with surprise, applauded. "Excellent performance! Although you parked a little close to your pink friend over there, you pass!"

Sonic glanced at Amy, who was smiling at him. "Damn, should've hit her ass…"

Shadow's turn was next. His trial was flawless as well. Unbeknownst to the others, he secretly used Chaos Control to move the cones out of his way. Knuckles, however, crashed two cars and somehow managed to flip one over. He finally passed, as well.

Next, the gang was led to the shooting range. Tails was begging with the instructor in charge not to give Sonic and the others handguns, but the man said it was necessary. Tails shot a worried look at his friends, who were standing in a triangular fashion, already pointing their guns at one another.

Shadow smiled devilishly. "I've been waiting a long time for this…"

Sonic bit his lower lip and grinned. "Come on, Shadow. Pull the trigger. I dare you. I'll kill your ass five times before you hit the ground."

"It looks like there'll be a new savior for the planet," Knuckles said, cocking his gun. "Me!"

They quickly lowered their weapons as the instructor walked in. "Okay, this test is pretty straightforward. All you have to do is shoot at the targets on the far wall, and your score will be based on how well your aim is."

Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles all got into position as the instructor started. "Ready…"

Shadow loaded his pistol.

Knuckles cocked his gun.

Sonic readied his firearm.

"Aim for the intended target…"

Shadow aimed at his respective target.

Knuckles aimed at his respective target.

Sonic pointed his gun to the left.

"Wait a second!" The instructor glared at Sonic, who of course had his gun trained on Amy. "What do you think you're doing?"

Sonic purposely shot him a confused look. "You _said_ aim for the _intended_ target. That's what I'm doing."

"No! Aim for the target on the _wall_!"

Sonic shrugged, then aimed at the target. "Damn…"

Everybody got good scores. Most of Sonic and Shadow's shots went clean through the head portion of the target. All of Knuckles' shots were solely concentrated on the crotch area. He managed to convince the instructor that nobody would want to be _alive_ anyway if they got capped in their 'no-no's'.

Tails and Amy sat in the lobby, waiting for the others. They had a few more test to take, but that was over an hour ago. He wished they would hurry up.

Finally, the trio walked in, followed by the Chief of Police. Sonic and Shadow were both clad in black police uniforms. They still wore their own shoes. Knuckles had chosen to make his own alterations to his uniform. One pant leg of his uniform was slightly cuffed up. His sleeves were rolled up. His shirt unbuttoned at the top to show his white crescent-shaped mark on his upper chest. He wore a police hat, which he cocked to one side. Last, but not least, his shades had come into play. He grinned.

"Da Knux Man is officially ready to bust some ass!"

Tails and Amy strolled up to them. "Wow, you guys look so professional!" Tails complimented.

"Ahem…," the Chief got the group's attention. "I would like to congratulate you three for completing all of your tests with flying colors." He eyed Sonic and Shadow. "You two aren't going to wear your hats?"

Sonic smoothed out his quills. "Ain't no hat goin' on these quills, Chief."

The Chief shrugged, then handed them each their own key to a police cruiser. "You guys start tomorrow morning."

Sonic cracked a sly smile.

The first part of the plan was complete.

* * *

**Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles.**

**Cops.**

**What kind of insanity will ensue? And what of Sonic's latest plan to rid himself of Amy? Find out next chapter!**


	18. The SSPD!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic. They belong to Sega.**

* * *

A zoomed out view of the city of Station Square was shown as some gritty '_COPS_'-like music played. 

The camera, positioned in the passenger's seat of his police car, then focused on Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic was clad in his black police uniform (minus the hat, of course) as he drove slowly down the street and turned the corner.

Sonic kept his eyes on the road as he spoke. "Yep, here I am in Station Square. I think this city is a nice place to live, you know? But it just pisses me off to no end that I have to save these damn people , like, every other week because they can't get off of their asses and defend themselves from danger. That's part of the reason I became a cop, you know?"

Sonic glanced at the camera and smiled mischievously. "I think you all know the _other_ reason I became a cop, don't you? Yeah, that's right. Amy. Using my duties as a cop, I _will_ get that bitch arrested and thrown in jail. And I'm not talkin' about any county jail or anything like that. I'm talkin' about some motherfuckin' Death Row shit."

Sonic turned the steering wheel as he rounded another corner. "The others and I are supposed to meet back at the police station to get a briefing from the Chief. They better be there."

ooo

Shadow eased his police cruiser to a stop at a traffic light. He chewed some gum as he talked. "You know, a lot of people question the rivalry between me and that faker, Sonic. Sure, we both live in the same house, but that bastard tries my patience every hour of the damn day."

The traffic light turned green and Shadow rounded a corner. "I mean…he _tries_ to fight me, but he loses. When is he going to get it through his head that he can't win? People just like the _Ultimate __Life Form _a whole lot better. I mean come _on_! Which team did _you _choose when you first played _Sonic Adventure 2_?"

Shadow pointed a thumb to himself. "That's right. Team _Dark_! People were all like: who's that dark hedgehog with those dead sexy quills? The _Ultimate Life Form_! Who's that dark hedgehog with that pimpin' chest hair? The _Ultimate Life Form_! Who's that dark hedgehog with those fly-ass hover shoes? The _Ultimate Life Form_!"

Shadow changed lanes and sped past a car. "Now, you want to know who _really_ won those battles between me and Sonic?" Shadow thumped his chest and nodded, grinning. "You're looking at him. If you ask that faker, he'll just deny it up and down, but he knows what happened." Shadow grinned again. "I broke my foot off in his ass and I'll do it again, too."

ooo

Sonic pulled into the station's parking lot to find Shadow already there waiting for him. Sonic got out of his car and joined Shadow. "Where the hell is Knuckles?"

Shadow shrugged. "Damn if I know."

Sonic crossed his arms. "Well, he better get his slow-ass here quick, or the Chief's gonna get pissed."

Then, they heard a faint rumbling sound in the distance. Sonic looked around. "What the hell is that?"

The sound grew louder. The ground started to vibrate slightly.

Shadow noticed that the car windows had started to tremble as well. "What is that _noise_?"

It dawned on Sonic. He knew. "It's music."

That's when a police car, rap music blaring, came tearing around the corner… in _reverse_. Knuckles, grinning like a madman, hung his head out of his window as he suddenly slammed on the brakes andpulled a 180 degree turn, finally coming to a stop across three parking spaces. The rims of the car had now been replaced with shiny chrome 'spinners' and the license plate on the back and front of the vehicle now read 'BIG POPPA'.

Knuckles stepped out of the car, slammed the door, and leaned back on the car suavely. He didn't take his shades off. "Am I late?"

Shadow was still trying his best to understand what Knuckles had done to his car.

Sonic glared at him. "Where the _fuck_ have you _been_?"

"Pimpin' my ride. What do you think?"

Shortly after, the Chief of Police walked of the building and greeted the new officers. "Good morning! Nice to see that you're all ready for your first day, eh?"

"You know us, Chief," Sonic smiled. "We're always ready. So what do have to do? Stake-out? Drug bust? S.W.A.T. raid?"

The Chief waved his hands. "No, no. Nothing like that. Since it's your first day, I'd just like you three to patrol around the city, that's all."

Sonic and Knuckles looked disappointed. Shadow was indifferent.

"Your shifts end at five o'clock," the Chief continued. "So you guys have quite a day ahead of you. But it will be easy."

"No problem," Sonic said, then turned to the others. "All right guys. Let's go!"

Knuckles got in his car, mumbling: "…Tell us what to do, motherfucker. I go when I _feel_ like it."

ooo

Knuckles turned down his rap music so he could talk. "I guess the others think this shit is funny. Why the fuck do I have to patrol eastern Station Square? Everybody _knows_ that this is the 'hood'! I _know_ Sonic was the one who suggested this part of the city to me. Watch, one day I'm just gonna fuck his ass up. Just catch him all alone while he's running and beat his ass."

Knuckles rolled his window down and let his arm hand over the side. "Anyways, I wonder if I'll get to see Rouge today?"

He grinned.

"I know she pretends not to like me, but she wants me. She can't resist Da Knux Man. Seriously though, she's the only girl for me. I-"

Knuckles' eyes widened as he spotted a pretty girl across the street. He slowed the car down and shot his head out the window. "_Hey girl_! Where _you_ goin'? Why don't you bring yo' fine ass over here and let Da Knux Man see a little action?"

The girl flipped him off.

Knuckles turned and grinned at the camera. "She likes me."

It must have been Knuckles' lucky day as a familiar, white convertible bat car zoomed past him.

Knuckles put on his seat belt and hit the sirens. "Bat girl…"

Upon hearing the sirens of the police, Rouge's car slowed down to a stop at the side of the road. Knuckles pulled up behind her and stepped out of his car, making sure to cock his police hat just right.

Rouge didn't look up until Knuckles had walked up right beside the car. When she finally saw that it was Knuckles, she just stared at him, mouth ajar.

Knuckles kept a surprisingly straight face. "License and registration, please."

Rouge didn't move. She wasn't about to fall for this bullshit. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Why are you in a police uniform?"

"License and registration, please," Knuckles repeated.

Rouge craned her head back at the police car in shock. "_Please_ tell me you didn't…you _stole _a police car?"

Knuckles had had enough. "Ma'am, step out of the vehicle."

Rouge stayed stock-still. "You can't really expect me to believe that your dumb-ass is a cop, can you?"

That's when Knuckles flashed his golden police badge. An _official_ police badge. Rouge had spent more than enough time as a government agent to tell that that was actually a real badge. "You? A _cop_?"

Knuckles hooked one thumb under his belt. "Ma'am, I work very hard to uphold the law of this peaceful community and right now, _you_ are breaking that law. And, as we all know, people who break the law are met with…" He grinned. "Consequences."

Unwillingly, Rouge stepped out of her car. "I can't believe this shit…"

Knuckles studied her for a moment before he spoke. "…You smuggling drugs?"

"_What?_" Rouge shouted, appalled.

Knuckles gestured with his head to Rouge's chest. "_No one_ has breasts that big, Rouge. Now confess. You're smuggling drugs in there, aren't you?"

The bat's face was turning red not from embarrassment, but from anger. She spoke in a low, trembling tone. "Knuckles. Stop this _now_. I warning you…"

Knuckles whipped out a small metal detector. "I'm getting suspicious. Let's see if you have anything _else_ on you, hmmm?" He slowly ran the device up and down Rouge's body, immediately halting the process when the detector emitted a loud whining sound at her stomach. Of course, Knuckles thought the detection was coming from a slightly _lower_ area. He bit his lower lip. "Well, well, well. What are we hiding down _there_, I wonder?"

Rouge's eyes were overflowing with murderous intent. "That's my belly button, you jackass. I got it pierced."

Knuckles looked heartbroken. "And I wasn't _informed_? Oh Rouge, you disappoint me. You know how I feel about my woman getting things pierced and messin' up that fine body."

"I'm not your 'woman'."

"Well, I don't think I can believe you," Knuckles said. This was it. He kept a straight face as he issued the one command that this whole situation had been leading up to.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to take your top off."

Rouge's whole body twitched involuntarily. He had gone too far this time. "Fuck you."

Knuckles raised both eyebrows and tapped his badge. He shrugged. "Hey, the badge gives me the power."

Sighing in defeat, Rouge brought her hands up. Knuckles stared, wide eyed, and tried to hold back a full-on nosebleed. Rouge grasped the front of her pink top and tugged lightly at the fabric, showing off a little of her precious flesh. Knuckles, seemingly in a trance, leaned closer and prepared to behold the glory. Seizing the opportunity, Rouge suddenly grabbed Knuckles' head and threw him down face first into the car seat. Then, in a fit of blind rage, she slammed the car door into his head. Repeatedly.

After about the seventh slam, Rouge threw the unconscious Knuckles to the asphalt and hopped in her car. "_Stupid motherfucker_!" she screamed as her tires squealed and the car took off.

Even though he was unconscious, Knuckles was still grinning. And drooling.

ooo

This time, in typical '_COPS_' fashion, the camera in Sonic's car was positioned on the dash behind the windshield. Sonic had stopped a car at the side of the road for a speeding violation. The camera kept filming as Sonic whipped out his baton and marched slowly toward…the Egg Hummer.

Sonic heard faint, frantic voices taking inside.

"_Quick! Quick! Switch places with me, you ass!_"

Sonic tapped the window lightly with his baton. "Police! Roll the window down."

The tinted window of the Egg Hummer slid down and Dr. Eggman smiled. "Good evening, officer. I didn't realize that-" His smile disappeared. "Hedgehog."

Sonic furiously chewed on some gum as he talked, giving him a slightly comical appearance. "Where you goin' this time of day, buddy? What's the rush? Someone pregnant?"

Eggman glared at him. "Well, I-"

"You ran three lights back there, buddy. You know that?"

"Oh! I didn't know!" Eggman said, sarcasm rising in his voice. "I'm so _sorry_!"

Sonic tapped his baton impatiently in one hand. "Yeah, those lights back there were _red_. Just like your _ass_ is gonna be when I get through with you."

Eggman was about to reply, but was cut off by his passenger, Metal Sonic. Metal, clearly piss-ass drunk, leaned over to Eggman and said a little too loudly: "Hey…did you tell him I was drivin' drunk?"

Eggman slapped his forehead. "Damn it, Metal! _Shut up_!"

Metal slurred his words. "Don't…tell me…to…to…to…to…to…um…_kiss my ass_!" Metal took a long, staggering gulp from his flask.

Sonic had heard enough. "All right. I'm takin' you guys in. Step out of the fuckin' car."

Eggman and Metal looked at each other for a moment. "…_punch it_!" The Egg Hummer sped off with Eggman laughing out the window.

The camera in Sonic's car kept filming as Sonic pulled out his pistol and fired multiple shots at the hummer. One of the bullets hit the back tire of the speeding car and sent it spinning wildly into a slew of other parked cars. In the end, a massive multi-car explosion resulted, with the Egg Hummer smack in the middle.

Not wanting to be faulted for the explosion, Sonic quickly put his pistol away and jetted back to his car.

"Fuck on a duck! I hope no one saw that!"

The camera filmed Sonic as he reached for it, turned it off, and threw it out the window. Running over the camera in the process., he quickly floored it in full reverse all the way down the street.

ooo

Instead of patrolling his designated area like he should've been doing, Shadow was elsewhere.

The grocery store cashier rang up the total for her customer's groceries and gave him a receipt. As soon as the guy left, a shopping cart packed and stacked sky high with boxes of waffles came rolling up. Shadow, clad cleanly in his police uniform, smiled at the cashier. "Good afternoon, ma'am. This is an _emergency_."

The cashier, slightly startled, spoke with her own urgency. "Yes, officer. What can I help you with?"

Shadow looked troubled as he explained. "You see, I have gotten word from inside sources that this shipment of waffles contains a deadly virus that could kill thousands of people if consumed. Do you understand?"

"I-I think so."

Shadow continued. "So, as a result, I've been ordered to confiscate these waffles and take them back to the station for further analysis. We need to trace the virus back to where it came from."

The cashier was confused. "Well, I don't know…"

"Look. I don't know what this virus could do to people," Shadow said hurriedly. "It could turn people into _zombies_ for all I know. So, if you don't want Station Square to become the next _Raccoon City_, I suggest you let me do my job."

The cashier nodded. "Yes sir. Please go ahead."

Shadow ran off with the cart full of waffles, snickering to himself. "So _stupid_!"

ooo

Sonic, Shadow, and a bruised Knuckles met back at the police station. Sonic shook his head at Knuckles. "…Just the first day and already you got fucked up. Such a _bitch_."

Almost instantly, Sonic and Knuckles were grappling on the ground. Shadow took a bite of waffle as he watched them. Their first day was over with.

* * *

**That's it for this chapter! Our heroes have gotten the first taste of what it's like to be a cop…especially Knuckles. But that won't stop them. Besides, Sonic still has a certain pink hedgehog to deal with…**


	19. The Stake Out

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic.

* * *

**

Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles sat around a small office table in the police station's briefing room. They were obviously waiting for the Chief to arrive and give them the rundown on their assignments. Sonic wished that he would hurry up. If he was lucky, maybe Sonic could get a little free time to pay a visit a certain pink hedgehog… 

"Argh! Damn it!"

"Yeah, bitch. You can't beat me."

Shadow cursed as his arm struggled to bring the echidna's arm to the table surface. He thought arm wrestling this dumb-ass would be a walk in the park. Knuckles grinned as he effortlessly slammed Shadow's arm onto the table. He gloated. "Looks like the 'Ultimate Life Form' doesn't have 'ultimate strength'."

"You son of a…" Shadow angrily hopped on the table and whipped out his Chaos Emerald. "Let's how well you wrestle with a Chaos Spear in your ass!"

Knuckles pulled his gun from the holster and pointed. "You better sit your ass down before I shoot you in your fuckin' ear."

"Hey, jack-asses! The Chief's comin'," Sonic said.

Shadow quickly jumped off of the table and Knuckles holstered his firearm as the Chief walked through the door. "Good morning, gentlemen. How are we today?"

"We can't complain, Chief," Sonic replied, leaning back in his chair. "What's our assignment, today?"

The Chief took a seat at the head of the table and sifted through some random papers. He smiled. "It looks like you boys will get some action today. We have inside word of an illegal drug-smuggling operation in downtown Station Square." The Chief slid a piece of paper toward Sonic. "That paper there will explain the details in specific about the situation. It appears that the drugs are being used by teens that attend the hottest club in town. The name of the place is called Club Rouge."

Knuckles snapped his head up as a devious smile played across his face. "Club Rouge, eh?"

"Yes," the Chief continued. "The next shipment will be coming in at around 2:15 later on today, so I want you guys to stake out the area and watch for anything suspicious. But be sure to keep out of sight. We don't want to scare the perpetrators off, understood?"

Sonic and the others nodded, then flashed eager looks at each other. Their first big assignment…

ooo

Sonic stretched his arm and rested it by his side. "A lot of people, especially kids, see me and the others as cops, then they mess around and want to be cops, too."

Sonic slowed down to a stop at a traffic light. "These damn kids…they just don't _learn_, you know? I mean, this is some real life shit! This ain't no motherfuckin' cartoon! This ain't some kinda fan fiction story!"

The light changed and Sonic continued his drive down the street. "Honestly, though. What dumb-ass motherfucker would write a story about us being cops? That's just _retarded_! Man, I'd sure like to catch _that_ kid in a dark alley…"

ooo

Sonic pulled into a parking lot to meet up with Knuckles. "All right. Where did the call come from, Knux?"

Knuckles pointed to a far building at the end of the parking lot. A picture of a large cartoon mouse decorated the front end of the structure. It was clearly some sort of children's entertainment center.

Sonic stared at the cartoon mouse for a moment. "You're _sure_ this is the place?"

"Yes! Why do you always talk down to me like I don't know shit? This _is_ where the call came from!"

"Okay. Get ready…"

Sonic and Knuckles made their way toward the building. Upon drawing near, they could hear terrified screams coming from inside. Sonic wondered why the distress call would be coming from _here_ of all places. He and Knuckles drew their weapons as they entered the popular establishment only know as 'Chuck E. Cheese'.

Once through the door, the strong smell of pizza and the loud noises of arcade machines assaulted their ears and noses. To their immediate right, dozens of assorted arcade machines and games lined the walls. The bright and colorful screens were mesmerizing to the sight. Straight ahead of the officers, and further to the back of the building, was where the food tables were located. This was were parents and children could enjoy their pizza, obviously. But, instead of enjoying themselves, they were all huddled together in the center of the tables. Their terrified gazes were fixated on something at the prize counter. The prize counter was were the kids would trade in their hard earned tickets from winning video games for trinkets and accessories. Occasionally, there would be grand prizes like boom-boxes or little television sets. Of course, the amount of tickets needed for exchange would be tremendous.

"Knuckles, I ask you…," Sonic began. "Who the _fuck_ holds up a _Chuck E. Cheese_?"

Knuckles motioned over the arcades, where a small figure sat on one the stools. The familiar way he engrossed himself in the video game with complete concentration made it all to easy to tell who he was.

Charmy squealed with delight as the arcade made a triumphant noise and tickets streamed out of a bottom slot. The small bee snatched up the tickets and held them up with one hand as if they were a gold medal. "_Yeah_! Kick ass!"

"_Charmy!_"

Charmy turned to see Sonic and Knuckles rush over to him. "Hey guys! What's up?"

"What have you _done_?" Sonic demanded.

"What? I haven't done anything!" Charmy defended innocently. "What did I do?"

Sonic pointed to the food tables. "What's wrong with those people over there?"

Charmy scratched his head. "Well…he _did_ drink a whole six-pack…"

Sonic stopped the conversation right then and there. It coming from Charmy, this "he" could only be one person.

Vector struggled to keep his balance as he held a large clump of tickets in one hand, and a bottle of _Heineken_ beer in the other. A frightened clerk stood petrified behind the prize counter, not daring to move an inch.

Earlier, Charmy had eyed the grand prize that sat behind the counter's glass casing: A _Sonic Heroes_ video game for the _Playstation 2_. The problem was that the game cost a whopping eight thousand tickets. Charmy swore on his own life that he would get that game, leaving a bored Vector to sit at the food tables. What Charmy _didn't_ know, is that Vector had snuck some good ol' alcohol to help him past the time. One thing led to another, and eventually the good crocodile had gotten drunk.

Vector slammed his bottle on the counter and pointed a finger at the clerk. His words came out slurred: "N-Now you lissun direkly to me! I got…" Vector slid his hand off of the counter and slammed the hand holding the tickets back onto the counter. He brought his face extremely close to his hand, attempting to count the tickets. He finally gave up. "I got…_tickets_!" Vector shoved the tickets across the counter with his hand, nearly losing his balance in the process. "Now, you git down thur an' git me mah mu'fukin' video game."

"B-But sir! That's not enough tickets!" the worker stammered.

"_Wut_?" Vector grabbed the ten tickets and tried to recount them. "One…two…" Vector stared at them for a minute, then shoved them back at the employee. "_Eight thousand_!"

"T-That's only ten tickets..."

"Aw, that's it!" Vector held the bottle of _Heineken_ in his mouth as he feebly tried to climb over the counter. Of course, he couldn't quite make it over, leaving one leg dangling over the side. Vector just lay there on the counter, glaring at the clerk.

"All right! That's enough of this shit!" Sonic's voice came as grabbed Vector around the waist and pulled him off of the counter.

Vector responded by going into blind hysterics. "AHHH! _Let go of me_! _They're_ _tryin'__to_ _rape __me_! _I'm dyin'_!"

It took both Sonic and Knuckles to restrain their Chaotix friend and pin him to the floor. Once Knuckles finally subdued him, Sonic crouched down next to Vector and slapped his face a couple times. Vector gazed straight up as a blurry blue figure came into view. "Vec! _Vec_! You dumb bastard! You're drunk! Gotta get you outta here!"

Vector half-smiled and reached a hand up. "Heeey, look! Itsa little blue Smurf!" His hand petted Sonic's arm. "Haaaloooo, Smurf!"

Sonic yanked his arm back. "All right, he's gettin' gay on me. Let's throw him in the car."

Knuckles nodded and hoisted Vector to his feet. Sonic took this time to address the other spectators. "Okay folks! We got everything under control! Nothin' to see here!"

That was the time that Vector decided to get hostile. He threw Knuckles' hand off of him and stumbled back. "Get'cher hands offa me ya…ya…ya _woman_!"

Knuckles instantly whipped out his baton, grinning. "Don't make me club you, Vec." The echidna wanted some action. He _wished_ Vector would try something else.

Vector pointed a wobbly finger at Knuckles. "Yea, that's right! You're a _woman_! An' yer _gay_!" The crocodile seemed to be getting great amusement as he spat out his greatest insult: "Yer a _gay_ _woman_!"

Knuckles bit his lip and grinned eagerly as he advanced on Vector, baton ready for action. Sonic pulled him back. "Come on, Knux. Just steady on."

Knuckles tried to jerk away from Sonic. "You're no fun! At _least_ let me bust his jaw!"

"No." Sonic took a firm hold of Vector and called to Charmy, who was now positioned at the top of the ski-ball machine, dropping ball after ball through the highest scoring hole. "Charmy! We're gettin' outta here!"

"Okay!" Charmy ripped the last of the tickets out of the slot and picked up his large cache of the paper. "I'll have to come back!"

Once they were halfway to the exit, Vector turned around pointed at the food tables. "And _you_…" He squinted and looked around. "Wait…wait. Where'd that lil' fucker go? _You_!" He swung his arm around to point at the clerk behind the counter.

"I'll…I'll see you at the game next Saturday, man!"

The clerk shot a confused look.

The drive to the Chaotix Detective Agency was a painstaking one, as Vector insisted on putting his leg through the gap between the front seats and onto to Knuckles' lap. Knuckles, many a time, had pulled out his gun and attempted to shoot Vector in his kneecap, but Sonic always held him back. Occasionally, Vector would mumble incoherent words loud enough for everybody to hear.

Sonic sighed. "When I became a cop, _this_ is not what I had in mind."

Charmy popped his head in front with wide eyes. "Wow! Are you guys gonna take me to_ juvey_?"

Sonic shook his head. "_…Definitely_ not what I had in mind…"

Upon reaching their destination, the crew helped Vector to the front door. Espio must've heard them pull up in the police car, because he opened the door to find quite a surprise. When he saw Vector, his face fell. "Oh no…"

Sonic and Knuckles dragged him up the front steps and onto the porch. Sonic waved. "Hey, Espio."

The chameleon put a hand to his head and shook it. "_Please _tell me it was nothing serious."

"Nah, he just got _blitzed_ at Chuck E. Cheese."

Espio sighed. "That's a new low. My eternal gratitude goes out to you both."

"It's no problem," Knuckles said. "You just might want to make him lay off the booze for a while."

Charmy flew up to them. "Hey Espio! Look how much tickets I got!"

"Very nice, Charmy. Come along, now. We must get our friend to bed, then I will properly whoop his ass later on." Espio calmly took a snoozing Vector inside.

ooo

Shadow knelt behind his police car as he surveyed the situation. From where he was, he could easily see the house beyond the hill. All he needed to do was use a little bit of stealth and make his way to the house.

Shadow turned and smiled at the camera, which was right behind him, ready to follow his every move. "Greetings. _Ultimate Life Form _here, and we've got ourselves a little problem. It seems that I have been called upon by fate to rescue the dear hostage that is being held in the distant house. You know what this means, don't you?"

Shadow cocked his gun. "It's time to cap me some ass."

The view of Shadow bobbed up and down as the camera followed him up the hill. The dark hedgehog pressed his back against the front wall of the house and slowly began to make his way around to the rear. Shadow was met with a large glass window, enabling a nice view of the kitchen. He peaked his head through the window. The kitchen sink was directly below the window, with cabinets and pantries to the left, and an oven and dishwasher to the right. Smack dab on the middle of the kitchen table lay the "hostage".

"Crap!"

Shadow quickly ducked out of sight as what seemed to be the lone occupant of the house came into the kitchen. He reached into one of the cabinets and pulled out a plate. Shadow ever so slowly brought his head to the nearest corner of the window just in time to see the person lay the plate on the counter.

Shadow crouched back down to his original position. "Son of a fucker! He's got the hostage guarded like Eggman with an apple pie. He's one clever bastard."

The camera tailed Shadow as he circled back around to the front of the house. "Well, I don't see any other way in there, so I'll just go with the direct approach."

With his gun drawn, Shadow kicked down the door in one swift motion, dived inside, and rolled behind a couch.

The person in the kitchen poked his head out. "What the-"

Before he could even react, Shadow activated his shoes and skated full speed into the kitchen. He quickly yanked the "hostage" off of the table and dashed back into the living room, where he immediately crouched into a defensive position with his gun pointed at the suspect.

The person stepped out of the kitchen. "What the hell?"

Shadow holstered his weapon and stood triumphantly in the living room. "Hmph! It looks like the _Ultimate Life Form _has put an end to your twisted little scheme! What do you have to say for yourself?"

Tails glared at him. "What are you _doing_ here? What…_what did you do to my goddamn door_?"

Shadow turned and glanced at the door, which now lay flat on the carpeted floor, then turned back to Tails. "You need not worry about your door, criminal. You should be more concerned about your little hostage here," Shadow said, pointing to the floor.

Tails was starting to lose it. "_That's a box of waffles, you idiot_!"

Shadow nodded. "Exactly! And _you_ were going to eat them! _No one _has the privilege of eating my _ultimate _waffles but _me_!" Shadow quickly picked the box up off the floor and slowly backed out of the house, pointing a silent, accusing finger at Tails the whole time.

Tails watched, eye twitching madly, as Shadow ran off with his beloved "hostage".

ooo

Club Rouge.

The hottest club in Station Square.

Also rumored to owned by the infamous thief: Rouge the Bat.

At all times of the day, there was a non-stop party at the club. Teens and adults alike all came to dance and get their "groove" on to the latest Rock and Roll, Hip-Hop, and R&B music. People sometimes waited for hours at a time just to get through the double-doored entrance of the club. Once they got inside, they would be met with a collage of multicolored lights from assorted disco balls hanging at key points in the ceiling. Their very hearts would vibrate and tremble from the loud decibels and the extreme amount of bass from the music. Sometimes, Rouge herself could be seen on one of the upper floors, enjoying the party from afar. But she had never really been there that often, as she spent most of her time with Sonic and the others, or trying to keep a certain echidna away from her.

Just a few weeks ago, some of the people started sneaking in the infamous drug nicknamed "X", or ecstasy. This drug proved to be invaluable in raising the body's heart rate, providing a temporary "high". The problem was, the drug had terrible, sometimes lethal after-effects that sent many people to the hospital. The drug quickly became illegal, but people still used it as if it were nothing. Someone needed to put a stop to this.

That's where Sonic and co. came in.

Sonic's car sat in a vacant parking lot some distance up the street from the club. He, Knuckles, and Shadow had decided to fan out and occupy three separate areas around the perimeter of the club. They had also been provided with long-distance walkie-talkies to communicate with each other if they saw anything suspicious. Since these were professional walkie-talkies, they made the distinct "_KCCHT_" sound whenever someone finished talking.

Now, instead of relaying information to each other like they were _supposed_ to do, Sonic and the others were having casual conversation.

Sonic leaned forward in his seat and strained to see something. He grinned and pressed a button on his walkie-talkie. "Hey Knux! You see that hot blonde comin' toward you? Look at that _ass_!" _KCCHT!_

Knuckles' voice crackled on the receiver. "Forget the ass. Look at those _titties_!" _KCCHT!_

Sonic gawked down the street. "You got a point, there." _KCCHT!_

Then, Shadow's voice came. "You fools _obviously _do not recognize the unrivaled beauty of a _brunette_!" _KCCHT!_

"What the hell do _you_ know, Shadow?" Sonic shot back. "You've never even _had_ a girlfriend before! And Maria doesn't count!" _KCCHT!_

There was a short moment of silence on Shadow's end, then his threatening voice came: "You stupid motherfu-" _KCCHT!_

Sonic smirked to himself. "That's what I thought."

Inside the depths of Club Rouge, the party was still going as strong as ever. People were starting get very rowdy. After much convincing from a group of people, a girl ripped off her shirt and threw into the crowds. Then, in a daring move, she took off her bra and flung it into the crowd. "WHOOO!" she screamed, as the undergarment hit the ground.

At that exact moment, Knuckles snapped his head up.

He turned.

If he had X-ray vision, he would be looking at the direct spot where the girl would be standing. He instantly got on his walkie-talkie. "Did you guys hear that noise?" _KCCHT!_

Sonic's voice came. "What noise?" _KCCHT!_

Knuckles started to hyperventilate as he uttered the next words with dead seriousness: "A bra…hit the ground. Someone in that club is _topless_ right now. I'm goin' in!" _KCCHT!_

"No, you idiot! You'll blow our cover!" _KCCHT!_

Knuckles started his engine. "I don't care!" _KCCHT!_

A loud sigh came over the walkie-talkie. "What a dumb-ass…" _KCCHT!_

Knuckles instantly forgot about the girl and grabbed his walkie-talkie. His voice was low. "What'd you say to me?" _KCCHT!_

Sonic realized he had an idea to keep Knuckles from screwing the plan up. "I said kiss my ass." _KCCHT!_

"…You better watch who you're talkin' to, you little fuck-nugget." _KCCHT!_

Sonic's grin widened as he pretended to be scared. "Oh! Oh no! What will you do, Knux? Beat my ass?" _KCCHT!_

Silence.

Sonic waited for a second, then spoke again: "What's the matter? Don't have a good comeback?" _KCCHT!_

Silence.

Sonic then heard the faint roaring of an engine drawing closer to his location. Five seconds later, Knuckles tore around the corner and sped straight toward Sonic. The echidna hung his head out the window, pointing his gun directly at Sonic's car.

Sonic smirked and cockily rubbed his nose as he shifted into reverse. He loved it when Knuckles got pissed.

Seconds later, Sonic found himself circling around the block as he and Knuckles exchanged gun fire at each other. Sonic grinned widely as he saw Knuckles activate his car's P.A. system.

He heard Knuckles' voice roar on the loudspeaker: "_Stay still, you fucking son of a bitch_!"

Sonic responded by waving a signature finger out of his car window.

Shadow pulled a waffle out of his portable waffle iron and took a bite as Sonic and Knuckles flew past. Sonic's car was now in full reverse as he went down the street, mocking Knuckles even more.

Shadow shook his head. "Fucking _immature_…"

ooo

It was now exactly 2:13.

Sonic and Knuckles had returned to their original positions. Sonic's car was now riddled with bullet holes and his rear window was completely shattered. Sonic pulled up his walkie-talkie, grinning. "Hey Knux! You see anything?" _KCCHT!_

"Don't fuckin' talk to me, bitch." _KCCHT!_

Sonic stifled his laughter. "Aww come on, Knux! It was a joke!" _KCCHT!_

"You know what, Sonic? Fuck you. Don't _ever_ let me catch your ass." _KCCHT!_

"Hey faker! A black van just pulled up." _KCCHT!_

Since Sonic was positioned at the front of the club, he couldn't see the van. "Shadow! Are they unloadin' the goods?" _KCCHT!_

Shadow took out a pair of binoculars and focused on the van. Two men had opened the rear doors and were taking out small crates. In one of the crates, what seemed to be bags of small, white pills were piled on one another. Shadow spoke into his walkie-talkie. "That's the shit. Let's roll." _KCCHT!_

The two burly guys carried the crates to a back door of the club, where another man greeted them and began to take the crates inside. No sooner than they got the door open, Sonic and Shadow rolled up in their cruisers, sirens blaring. Sonic stepped out of his car and pointed his gun. "Freeze, bitches! You're under arrest!"

The three guys apparently didn't take the hedgehogs seriously, as they produced small switchblades and attempted to rush them. Sonic and Shadow easily took them down with solid blows from well placed Homing Attacks.

Sonic checked each of the guys to make sure they were unconscious. "Shadow, you check inside the club and make sure everything's cool in there. I'll call the Chief and tell him to send backup for all this crap."

"All right."

After flashing his badge, Shadow easily gained entrance to the club. He walked around for a while and surveyed the droves of fanatically dancing people. He scowled. "Where the hell is Knuckles?"

No sooner than he asked that question, a faint whirring sound was heard. Suddenly, in crashed Knuckles' car through not the bottom, but the _top_ of the wall. After plowing about halfway through the wall, his car became stuck.

Frightened and startled gasps came from the party-goers as they all halted dancing to stare at the car, which was about two stories up. It mystified everybody, even Shadow, how Knuckles was able to get his car that high up in the air.

Knuckles jumped down from his car and immediately sought out an object on the floor. He grinned, picked it up, and looked around. "Anyone lose a bra?" Knuckles had hoped to see the topless girl, but Shadow dragged him out of the club. "_Nooo_! Titties! I must see _titties_!" Knuckles screamed.

ooo

Rouge sighed and tore herself away from her magazine to go answer her door. She opened it to find Knuckles smiling at her. Rouge was ready to slam the door when Knuckles held up a bouquet of beautiful red roses. "They're for you."

Rouge was taken aback. She looked from Knuckles to the roses, then to Knuckles again. She finally smiled. "Why thank you, Knuckles! How very thoughtful."

"I just thought I'd buy you those for what happened at Club Rouge today."

Rouge looked up at Knuckles. His expression was solemn. "Yeah, I heard that there was some sort of drug bust down there. Ohhh, my poor club!"

"Luckily, no one was hurt!" Knuckles added brightly. "And we caught the drug dealers and sent them to jail."

"Good, good." Rouge stared at him for a moment. "Would you like to join me for a drink?"

"Sure."

"Come on in." Rouge closed the door behind him. "I'll just go put these roses in some water." Knuckles watched as she disappeared into a back room.

He looked around the apartment. "So uh, Rouge…"

"Yeah?" Rouge replied from the back.

"…You got them pants off yet?"

Knuckles woke up twenty minutes later to find himself tied to the top of a flag pole somewhere in downtown Station Square. "What…what happened? Where am I?"

* * *

**That's it for this chapter!**


	20. The X

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic. They belong to Sega and any others I forget to mention.

* * *

**

Sonic stepped out of the bathroom, clean as a whistle in his police uniform, as he headed down the stairs for breakfast. Shadow and Knuckles were already downstairs.

Tails laid down a fresh plate of pancakes as Sonic sat down at the table. Currently, Knuckles was in the middle of his amazing story which he embarked the previous night.

"…And there were drawers full of 'em! It was fuckin' awesome," Knuckles grinned.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sonic interrupted. "You went on a panty raid last night? _And you didn't invite us?_"

Knuckles licked his lips. "Da Knux Man works alone on these kinds of things, Sonic. You understand."

Tails sulked as he mumbled to himself. "I wish I was old enough to go…"

Knuckles leaned back in his chair. "Yup. Maybe I'll take you guys next time, so you can get a pair of _these_!" He pulled out a light blue pair of silk panties.

Sonic immediately scowled at him. "Damn it, Knuckles! Tails is sittin' right there!"

Tails struggled to hold back a nose-bleed. "N-No! I c-can take it…"

Shadow gazed at the undergarments and raised an eyebrow. "Now that you have them, what do you plan to do with them?"

Knuckles slapped his forehead. "What are you, stupid? You reap the benefits!" He raised the panties up and slipped them down over his forehead in such a way, that the two leg holes were on either side of his cranium. Knuckles leaned back in his chair and folded his hands proudly on the table. "Like so."

Sonic stared uncertainly. "You're…not gonna wear those _outside_, are you?"

Knuckles scoffed. "Damn yeah! This is one of the proudest moments in a male's lifetime!" His expression turned serious. "And if you plan on raising Tails properly, I suggest you take him on a raid before it's too late."

Tails' eyes went as wide as the plates on the table. "Ooh! Ooh! Can we, Sonic?"

Sonic shook his head firmly. "No. I don't want you growing up to be like a pervert."

"Nonsense!" Knuckles intervened. "You guys can just go hit up Amy's house or something."

The very thought of that almost gave Sonic a seizure. "Dear God, no! Then I would have mental images in my head that I wouldn't be able to get rid of, unless I force them out. _With a bullet_."

"By the way," Shadow spoke up, breaking Sonic out his mental state. "Exactly whose house did you go to?"

Then, at that moment, there came a furious knocking at the front door and a mysterious Rouge-sounding voice shouted out angrily: "_Open_. _This_. _Damn_. _Door_. _NOW_."

Knuckles scrambled up from his chair. "_Oh, fuck_! How did she know it was me?"

It was Sonic's turn to grin. "You better _run_, boy."

Knuckles, still with the panties wrapped around his head, raced to the kitchen window. "Can I get out this way?"

Tails nodded. "Yeah, just open-"

Too late.

Knuckles dived clear_through_ the window, shattering it into a million pieces. Tails slowly laid his head on the table and cussed. Obviously, Rouge noticed the breaking of the window, as the others saw her race around the side of the house.

Before Knuckles could even get away, Rouge was there to greet him, looking as pissed as all hell. "You might want to pick out a casket now, because you will _not_ walk away from this alive."

Knuckles, being the jack-ass that he was, didn't even bother to remove the undergarment from his head. "But babe! How do you even know it was me?"

Rouge held up three fingers. "**A:** only my panty drawers were ravaged. **B:** you're the only one who knows were I live. And **C:**…" She threw his shades to the ground. "_You left your shades at my_ _apartment, you goddamn piece of fuck_!"

Knuckles got down on one knee and put on his patented "grin of perversion". "But baby, I can _change_! Help me stop my perverted ways!"

Rouge was equipping her various combat accessories from _Sonic Adventure 2_. "Oh, I'll help you, all right. _Help you die_!"

Despite the chaos that was now going on outside, Sonic and the others finished their meals, ignoring Knuckles' pathetic cries for help. Sonic glanced at the clock on the wall. "Oh crap! We better get going, or we'll be late!"

"But what about Knuckles?" Tails asked worriedly.

"Meh. He'll catch up."

Sonic and Shadow were out the door.

ooo

Our favorite hedgehogs sat at the long table and waited for the Chief to arrive. Sonic smirked. "Damn. Knuckles _still_ isn't here? Rouge must've went World War Three on his ass."

Shadow nodded and rubbed his chin. "Agreed. But this 'the Panty Raid' as you so call it, intrigues me. We must schedule one soon."

Sonic smiled. "Of course! It'll be you, me, and Knuckles. Oh, and Vector. It wouldn't be the complete set without him."

"Tomorrow night, then."

The door to the briefing room suddenly swung open and Knuckles stumbled in. He was pissed. "_Why didn't you guys help me_?"

Sonic propped his feet up on the table and kept calm. "Hey, hey. We weren't in it. You should've snatched the panties off your head before you even went outside. You were just _askin'_ for an ass cleanin'."

Knuckles looked as if he were ready to explode, but he stayed calm. "I should open fire on your ass right now."

"Go 'head. It's not like you'll hit me."

One full second later, Sonic and Knuckles had their handguns pointed at each other's skulls. Shadow, for the hell of it, stood up and alternatively aimed his gun between his friends. Knuckles' mouth formed a tight upside-down U of trembling anger. "_This ends today, you rotten piece of_ _hedgehog crap_!"

"Oh crap! The Chief!"

Everybody quickly holstered their guns and sat down as if nothing happened. Knuckles gave Sonic one final death glare before the Chief of Police walked in. "Hello, all!"

The three heroes greeted him as he sat down at the head of the table and started going through a folder. "Okay. There have been many phone calls reporting a lost chao somewhere in Station Square. Here are some pictures of the owner and the chao." The Chief slid some photos down the table, which Sonic and the others picked up.

Sonic instantly recognized the owner. "Whoa! This is Cream!"

Shadow studied another picture in his hands. "And Cheese, of course."

"How could she lose track of Cheese?" Knuckles asked. "Those two are pretty much inseparable."

"Yes," the Chief nodded. "The report states that the chao has been missing since late yesterday. Since you three seem to be good friends with the victims, you are perfect for this case."

Sonic rose from his seat. "No problem, Chief! Is that all?"

"Actually, no."

The Chief rummaged through the contents of the folder and pulled out another document. "One family in Station Square has been reporting mysterious intruders sneaking around their house. I also want you to do some investigation and see if you can clear up this little problem." He took out some more photos. "Actually, I think you guys are familiar with this family as well. They're known as…"

The Chief slid the pictures over the table toward Sonic. Sonic had no idea that this was to be one of the darkest days in his life.

The Chief continued. "The Thorndykes."

Sonic grasped his heart. His breathing became erratic.

Not them.

Not _him_.

The Chief shot a worried look to Shadow. "Is…he all right?"

Shadow looked from Sonic, who was now crying, to the Chief. "Yeah. He always gets like this when he has to deal with somebody he doesn't like."

"Anyways," the Chief continued. "The Thorndyke family has good relations with Cream and her mother, so they will be waiting for you at the Thorndyke's mansion home."

After the Chief had finished the briefing, the officers found themselves outside headed toward their respective squad cars. Sonic lagged behind. He stared up at the sky. "God, if you care even the slightest bit about me, you'll kill me now. Just put a bullet through ol' Sonic's head."

ooo

Sonic drove down the street as the car's camera filmed him from the passenger's seat. Pure depression plagued his features.

"I guess you're wondering why I dread going over to this mansion," Sonic spoke. "It's because of the people who live there. No, scratch that. It's because _one kid _who lives there." Sonic looked solemnly at the camera. "Yeah, that's right. Chris Thorndyke."

He rounded a corner. "Now, have you seen _Sonic X_? If you have, you would know that this kid is the _gayest little fag_ on the face of this damn planet! Whenever we fought Eggman, he never helped us out, he was just…_there_. He was dead weight! And I _always_ had to bail him out of trouble at the expense of getting my _own ass_ kicked! Their damn butler, Tanaka, helped out more than Chris did! And he was only with us half the time!"

Sonic stopped to catch his breath from all his ranting, then he sneered at the camera. "Did all of that sink in? Because I haven't even told you the worst part, yet." He talked slowly. "Chris…was…around…me…_24-motherfucking-7_! He would not leave! He would not move! I had to go out running just to get away from his ass! I had to sleep on the roof of the damn mansion just to get some peace!"

Sonic detached an object from his belt. It was a police-issued taser gun. "I'll tell you what, though. If Chris comes near me with that crying-and-trying-to-hug-me bullshit, I'ma tase his ass until his fuckin' skin turns blacker than Shadow's fur!"

Sonic kept the weapon in his hand the whole time down to the mansion.

ooo

Knuckles grinned. "Poor, poor, Sonic. I'm glad I don't have to deal the kind of shit he does. But I'll admit: that Chris kid _was_ a pansy. He kept tryin' to hug Sonic for some reason!"

Knuckles' grin grew wider as he bit his lower lip. "Now, what that kid _needs_ is some _sex _in his life! That'll make him into a _man_! A '_Knux Man_'!"

He came to a stop at a traffic light. "The rest of the family was pretty cool, though. Especially that housemaid, Ella. She cooked all that kick-ass food! And let's not forget the mother! She was fuckin' bounce-a-licious, baby!"

ooo

Shadow pulled up in front of the mansion. He gathered his things and talked at the same time. "I don't really have anything to say about the whole _Sonic X_ thing. _Except that I was fucking barely in_ _it_! I was only in the show for, like, five or six fucking episodes! They can't tell my damn story in that short amount of time!"

Shadow pounded the steering wheel with his fist. "_Why did they do that? Why did they do that to_ _Shadow?_"

He got out of his car and joined Sonic and Knuckles at the front double-doors of the Thorndyke mansion. Knuckles nudged Sonic forward. "Knock on the door, Sonic."

Sonic stepped back. "Uh-uh. _You _fuckin' knock on the door and see if that little bastard doesn't try to hug the shit out of you."

Knuckles waved him off and knocked on the door. "Ahh, you're such a pussy."

A short moment later, a tall, red-haired woman answered the door. "Why, hello there!"

Knuckles spoke up first. "Good morning, Mrs. Thorndyke. We're here for the investigation."

Mrs. Thorndyke fully opened the double-doors to let them in, and then started to lead them down the hallway. "Right this way, please."

Shadow immediately nudged Knuckles' side. "Damn. When did _you_ become so polite?"

Knuckles clasped his hands and whispered back. "Idiot! Did you not just see the _titties_ in front of you? Chris's mom has it goin' _on_!"

Shadow pouted. "Well, I don't know really know any of these people. _Since I wasn't here!_"

Knuckles turned to Sonic as they continued down the long corridor. "Hey Sonic…man! All you all right?"

Sonic looked as if he were having a mental breakdown. He was sweating. "Shut _up_, damn you!" His eyes darted every which way. "Can't you see? He's _here_!" He shook Knuckles hard with both hands. "Chris! It's him! _He could come outta the fucking walls_!"

"You need to calm down, faker," Shadow said with exasperation.

Knuckles pushed Sonic's hands off of him. "Damn, Sonic! He just some punk kid with a debatable homosexuality."

Sonic was freaking out. "Fools! Both of you!"

To Shadow and Knuckles, this was just an investigation. But to Sonic, this was a _mission_. They finally reached the hallway's end and came into sprawling, beautiful living room, where the rest of the family (including Cream and Vanilla) sat. Mrs. Thorndyke alerted them to their presence. "We have company!"

Sitting on a nearby couch were Cream, her mother, and an old man. Sonic and Knuckles (but not poor Shadow) recognized him as Professor Chuck Thorndyke, or Chris' grandpa. He wore a long, white lab coat and his gray hair resembled Sonic's quills in a way. He stood up. "Ah! Sonic, Knuckles, and…" He stared thoughtfully at Shadow. "…Shadow? I thought you were dead!"

Shadow, instead of explaining how he survived like so many of us wanted to know, simply replied: "Nope."

Chuck quickly dismissed the situation . "Oh, well. It's nice of you to help us out, you guys." He turned back to Ella. "Ella, please prepare some snacks for our new guest."

Ella, who was a slightly heavy-set woman with tan skin and short, fuzzy brown hair, nodded quickly. She had a Hispanic accent to her voice. "Right away, sir!" A man dressed in a sharp suit with square framed eye glasses followed her to help. Obviously, he was their butler, Tanaka.

"Please," Chuck motioned toward another couch across from where Cream and Vanilla sat. "Have yourselves a seat."

Knuckles and Shadow politely complied, but Sonic stayed back.

Chuck glanced back at Sonic. "Hey Sonic. All you all right? It's not like you haven't been here before, you know."

Sonic didn't even hear him. He stared straight ahead. His body tensed. If it had been Amy zooming through the corridor behind him, he would not have seen it coming. But, as serious as this situation was to him, this was no "Hell Day". This was merely "Hell Day Junior".

Chris was only about three feet away.

Sonic turned around. "Hell no."

Chris, in his usual blue jeans and red shirt, ran just slightly past Sonic before he fell flat on his face, body trembling slightly.

Sonic put on a fake expression of shock. "Oh no! I think he tripped!"

Cream held her hands to her mouth. "Oh no! Will Mr. Chris be okay?"

"Ahh, don't worry about it." Chuck bent down and lifted a semi-conscious Chris to his feet. "He does this all the time. I keep telling him not to run in the house, but he doesn't listen! _Now _look what happened! …Tanaka!"

Tanaka appeared a split second later. "Yes, Professor Thorndyke?"

"Please take Chris up to his room and check him for bruises. Then I'll have a long talk with him about following rules."

"Yes, sir!"

Lifting Chris like he weighed nothing at all, Tanaka briskly made his way up the stairs.

"I go see about Ella in the kitchen," Chuck said as he walked off.

As soon as Chuck was gone, Shadow leaned towards Sonic as he sat down. "I can't believe what you just did to that poor boy."

Sonic looked at him innocently. "Why, Shadow! I'm surprised and appalled! Accusing me of such a thing! Honestly!"

"Let's not forget. I have super speed, too," Shadow reminded him. "I saw what you did."

Sonic dropped his "innocent" act. "Look. He had it comin'. This is why I didn't want to fuckin' come here in the first place."

Knuckles leaned in. "What? What did you do?"

Shadow pointed a thumb at Sonic. "Faker right here tased that kid."

Knuckles frowned. "Damn, Sonic! That's cold-blooded!"

To any normal person (without super-speed, of course), it looked as if Chris just tripped and fell to the floor. But as Shadow saw it, Sonic used his extreme agility to trip Chris with his foot and administer a light shock right to his chest on the way down. Truly a show of how fast Sonic could really be.

Sonic stared at Knuckles in disbelief. "_Cold-blooded? _Is that what I heard you say? Look, that kid _needs_ to get his ass beat to toughen him up! And then, when that happens, maybe he won't be such a _sucker-ass_!"

"I still say that's messed up," Shadow persisted.

Sonic whispered harshly. "What the fuck is wrong with you two? You guys have seen me try to kill Amy on a _daily basis_, and you don't say shit! Hell, the whole reason we're cops _now_ is that so I can devise a plan to get her ass thrown into prison! The only reason _that_ hasn't happened yet is because we keep getting side-tracked by all these crazy-ass adventures!"

"Ahem!"

The three broke out of their heated argument to face Vanilla and Cream, who sat on the opposite couch. Sonic was so engrossed in conversation, that he almost forgot about them. "Oh! I apologize! He smiled nervously. "We were discussing…business."

"It's quite all right," Vanilla smiled. She wore a lavender and red dress and a blue ascot like Cream's. Unlike Cream, her mother had a small tuft of brown hair on her head. Her voice was soft and dainty like her daughter's. "We were hoping that you would help us find our poor little Cheese. We've looked everywhere, but we couldn't find him."

Tears started to well up in Cream's eyes. "Poor Cheese. What if it's hurt? _Please_ say you'll help us, Mr. Sonic!"

Sonic didn't know what it was about Cream and Vanilla, but it would be cruel not to help them. "Of course! We'll start searching now!" He glanced back to his partners. "Come on, guys!"

"Aww, but….the _food_!" Knuckles whined.

"No time! Let's go!"

Sonic, Shadow, and a disillusioned Knuckles made their way out of the mansion. As soon as they left, Chuck and Ella returned with the munchies. "Where did they go?" Chuck asked.

"They already left," Vanilla answered.

"Hmm…" Chuck rubbed the back of his head. "I never got the chance to tell them about those two hoodlums that have been sneaking around here. I hope everything turns out okay…"

Gathered at their squad cars, the team pondered their next move. Knuckles leaned against the car. "So…where do even _begin_ to look?"

"You guys are hopeless," Sonic said. "Hey Knux. Let me use your cell phone."

Knuckles pulled out his cell phone and handed it to Sonic. "Okay, but make it short. I'm low on minutes."

Sonic punched in a phone number and waited. The phone rang three times before the other end picked up and a scratchy voice spoke. "What?"

Sonic grinned. "Hey Eggman! It's Sonic!"

Eggman replied casually. "Oh, hey. What's up?"

"You got Cheese with you?"

"Which kind?"

"The chao."

There was silence on Eggman's end, then he spoke: "Why would I go through the trouble of kidnapping some damn chao-" He paused. "Wait…wait." There was another pause, then Eggman shouted: "_How did you get this fucking number? Who do you think you are?_"

Sonic decided to be a smart-ass. "Let me answer that question with _another_ question: why is your number in the phone book? Better yet, why the hell do you have a _phone_?"

"My number's in the _phone book_?" Eggman calmed down. "I should rip out your rib cage and wear it as a fucking hat."

Sonic grinned.

"And I don't have your fucking chao," Eggman added.

Sonic shrugged. "Okay, then…"

"Oh, and before I forget…," Eggman began angrily. "I wanted to thank you for nearly blowing up my Egg Hummer the last time we met."

"Oh! Did I do that?" Sonic asked innocently.

"You better be damn grateful my car is fucking fireproof. You're lucky I don't come down there right now and bust your ass where you stand."

"Whatever! Bye!"

Sonic hung the phone up. "He doesn't have the chao."

"Shit."

"Damn."

So, they were back to square one, until Shadow spotted something. "Look there! On the roof of the mansion!"

Sonic and Knuckles followed his gaze to the roof to find two figures standing like statues, staring down at them. Shadow grabbed Sonic and Knuckles' hands and used Chaos Control to warp them to the roof. Upon touching down, the crew could see that the figures were no more than two teenaged boys. Their skin was tanned and they had long, bright blond hair. They both wore the same exact clothing and looked completely identical. One of them held a squirming chao with a bowtie in his hands.

Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles got into their fighting stances. Shadow could immediately since that there was something unsettling about these boys. They seemed…familiar.

"Drop the chao, or we drop you," Sonic threatened.

The boy released his grip on Cheese and allowed the chao to fly safely back to Sonic. The boy smiled. "Do not worry. We merely captured the chao to get your attention. 'She' just wanted to make sure that you're still around. And in good fighting condition."

"Oh? And who is this 'she'?"

The boy exchanged glances with his twin and cackled. "We're afraid we must keep that a secret for now. But you'll find out soon enough."

Then, without warning, the twins jumped off of the roof and landed unharmed on the ground, where they promptly sped off.

"Should we go after them?" Shadow asked.

Sonic shook his head. "Nah. Let's leave'em be for now. Besides, Vanilla and Cream are worried sick about Cheese, here."

So, Cheese was returned to Cream safe and sound. Knuckles managed to finally get some food and Sonic herded them out of the house before Chris woke up. Sonic was glad to walk out of that one alive. After thinking a bit about the ordeal with Chris, Knuckles patted Sonic's back. "Don't worry. 'Da Knux Man' will take care of Chris…"

ooo

It was about 3:30 in the afternoon when a young girl got home from school. She had red hair, a few freckles on her face, and she wore red overalls over a white shirt. Her name was Francine, one of Chris' school friends. Upon reaching her front door, she found a note written in badly done handwriting. "Who's this from…?"

ooo

That night, a disappointed Chris sat in his room, sad because he had missed out on seeing Sonic. The sound of the doorbell ringing snapped him out of his thoughts. "Who could this be so late at night?" He wondered. He raced downstairs and opened the front door to find Francine holding a note. Her eyes were all big and sparkly, animé style. "You…you sent me this note?"

Chris stared at the paper, confused. "Note?"

Francine clasped her hands in front of her, again in classic animé style. "I-I didn't know you felt this way about me, Chris!"

Chris had no clue. "…Huh?"

Francine looked around and spotted a guest house near the side of the mansion. She smiled seductively. "What say we kick off our first night properly by going into that guest house over there and…" She purposely left the last part of the sentence out, thinking that Chris would understand.

He didn't. "And…what?"

"And…you know…" Francine made little suggestive motions with her hips.

Chris stared blankly. "…I don't follow you."

"Ohhh! Come here!" She grabbed his hand and started dragging him to the guest house.

"Whatever this is, it better be good, Francine," Chris mumbled. "I was watching Powerpuff Girls."

Francine smiled. "Oh, it will be good. It will be."

Needless to say, Chris would be getting very lucky that night, thanks to one certain red echidna.

ooo

In another part of the city sat a busy building. Despite the late hour, business had to keep going strong. This building was occupied by the local phone company. An employee inside the building worked quietly as he watched periodically the double-doored entrance a distance in front of him. Then, in the distance, he thought he heard tires squealing. He shrugged it off, thinking it was nothing. He heard the squealing of tires again, louder this time.

The employee saw a pair of bright headlights flash in the entrance windows.Then, as if the whole situation were an animé show on television, the Egg Hummer, with Eggman's _Sonic Adventure 2_ theme song playing in the background, crashed through the window and skidded to a halt.

The employee sweat-dropped.

A diagonal split-screen showed each of the Egg Hummer's doors opening simultaneously with Eggman and Metal stepping out. Metal had only his flask, which he sipped from. Eggman, however, wielded a baseball bat in one hand, and a handgun in the other.

People ran around screaming their heads off as Eggman strolled up to the front desk. "Greetings! I believe you people have made a mistake. You see, my name and phone number have appeared in the various phone books that have been distributed throughout the city." Eggman held his gun to the man's head. "I think you had better remove it."

"T-That would be impossible, sir!"

Eggman stared at him for a full ten seconds. "…Really." He turned to Metal. "Metal!"

The camera switched to an outside view of the building. All was peaceful.

…_KABOOM!_

The building went up in flames, with the Egg Hummer tearing down the street….and Eggman chasing behind it.

* * *

**So ends another day. Will Sonic ever get to enact his plans on Amy? Who were the mysterious blonde twins? Find out next time!**


	21. The Return

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this fic. Sega owns them.

* * *

**

Shadow smiled devilishly.

The criminal lay still at his feet.

Currently, the two were in an empty alleyway. Occasionally, a small rat or two would scamper out of hiding to search for any scraps of food, then disappear into hiding once more.

Shadow glared at the perpetrator with blazing fury in his eyes. "So, you thought you were pretty slick, didn't you? You thought you could hide from me forever?"

No response.

Shadow wasted no time to pull out his gun. "I asked you a question."

Still no response.

"Won't talk?" He narrowed his eyes. "Then I'll see you in hell."

Shadow quickly and violently emptied his whole clip, filling the poor criminal with dozens of bullet holes. Another clip was loaded, then unloaded as Shadow continued to fire with a crazy gleam in his eye. When he finally finished, he sneered and spat on the ground. "That'll teach you to disrespect the _Ultimate Life Form_, _bitch_."

A voice rang out from down the alley. "Hey Shadow! Whose ass did you cap?"

Shadow holstered his gun and turned to see Knuckles, followed by Sonic, running towards him. Sonic was horrified. "Shadow! What have you _done_?"

"You're too late, faker! It's over!"

Sonic's tearful eyes went from the criminal to Shadow, then back to the criminal. "Y-You heartless motherfucker…," Sonic slowly, painfully knelt down and lifted the mutilated package of frozen pancakes. "Goddamn you, Shadow," Sonic shook his head sadly. "I didn't even have breakfast this morning…"

Shadow took a triumphant tone to his voice. "When will you realize, Sonic? When will you realize that there is no place for pancakes in this world?" He grabbed Sonic and pulled him close so that they were eye-to-eye. "Waffles, Sonic! _Waffles_! Waffles are the New Age; the New Era; the New _Empire_!"

Sonic kept the same saddened, depressed expression on his face as he pulled out his gun. "I'm gonna blow your goddamn head off…"

Shadow threw him to the ground in disgust. "You are a fool. Pancakes, _pah_!" He spit on the ground again. "That's the food of the _devil_!"

"Um, yeah…," Knuckles interrupted. "I'm sorry to interrupt this childish feud, but we have a call coming in through the radio."

Sonic kept his eyes glued to Shadow. "Take care of it for us, Knuckles. It's about to be the _Matrix_: _Reloaded_ up out here."

"Fine," Knuckles walked off, leaving Sonic and Shadow to begin their biggest fight yet…

ooo

Knuckles pulled up into a wide parking of a _Motel 6_. Many other cars had occupied the parking lot as well. The bright morning sun had made it warm enough to allow some kids and their parents to play and relax in the pool near the side of the motel. Knuckles made his way to the nearest bedroom door, which just happened to be the one that the disturbance call described.

What he heard from inside shocked him. They were noises. Loud noises. _Naughty_ noises. Knuckles grinned and pressed his ear to the door. Now, according to him, this was no ordinary love-making going on inside. According to Knuckles, in all his perverted expertise, this sounded like some full-on, hot and heavy gorilla sex.

He tore his ear away from the door, wrinkling his face. "_Damn_! I don't think even Rouge and I would go _that_ hard…" He grinned sheepishly. "If we ever _had_…" He then rapped on the door with his giant fist. "All right, you two! It's the Po-Po's! Open up before I break this damn door down!"

After a few moments, the door swung open and a boy appeared in the doorway. He was missing his shirt, but he wore baggy blue jeans that were cuffed slightly above the ankles. His red, spiky hair was ruffled.

Knuckles cocked and eyebrow. "…Chris?"

Chris yawned and leaned against the doorframe. "Hey Knuckles."

"That was _you_ in there?"

"Yup."

Francine's voice floated from the back of the room. "Oh, Chriiiiiissss! Let's go again!"

"What the-" Chris let out a tired sigh as he turned back to her. "Damn, woman! I'm not a _machine_! I need rest!"

Francine rolled over under the bed covers and gave him her pouting face. "But baby! I need my _nookies_!"

"I just gave you nookies no less than two minutes ago! Damn! Lemme breathe for a minute!" Chris turned back to Knuckles. "She's tiring me out."

Knuckles wiped a tear from his eye. "I'm so _proud_!"

"Proud? What for?"

"It's nothing. Anyway, I was called over to tell you that y'all gotta keep that noise down. It's disturbin' the other folk's around here."

Chris contemplated this as he stared at Knuckles, then back at Francine, who was drawing little circles with her finger on the covers. She was eagerly staring at him, just waiting for him to come back so she could do…stuff to him. Chris turned back to Knuckles and rubbed his chin in thought. Finally he answered: "No can do."

"Why not?"

"Because Francine's a sex maniac."

"I see. What if I take you someplace quiet?"

"Like where?"

Knuckles smiled slyly. "Like my island."

ooo

Far away, on the roof of a building, stood two blond teenagers. They were no doubt the mysterious twins that Sonic and the others had encountered the previous day. They were no doubt cooking up some devious plan.

"I'm hungry."

"Fuck! Again? I'm not about to spend my allowance money on you!"

The hungry boy pleaded. "By me a Kit-Kat Bar."

"Fuck no."

"_Please_?"

"Fine! But we're five-finger discountin' it."

ooo

After returning from Angel Island (don't ask how he got there and back so quickly), Knuckles returned to the _Motel 6_ to find Sonic and Shadow drag themselves up to him. Knuckles stifled his laughter. "_Damn_! You guys are crazy!"

Both hedgehogs were covered in bruises from head to toe. Sonic had cuts and scrapes on his body and his fur was mussed. But, for some reason, his quills remained in perfect shape. Shadow's injuries were similar to Sonic's, except that he had bite marks all up and down his left arm. His quills, like Sonic's, looked like they had never been touched.

"Are we all better now?" Knuckles asked in a childlike voice.

"I _would_ be," Shadow said angrily. "If this faker here didn't bite me!"

"Hey! I only bit you because you had your ass in my face!" Sonic shot back.

The police radio in Knuckles' car crackled to life. Knuckles raced over and listened in. "Guys! We got trouble down at the liquor store!"

ooo

Sonic and the others pulled up in front of the liquor store just minutes later. Luckily, the perpetrators were still inside. Just as soon as the heroes got close to the front doors, they burst open, and out ran the two blond twins, carrying various foods in their hands. Upon seeing Sonic and co., they jetted like no tomorrow down the street.

Knuckles pointed after them. "It's those little bastards from yesterday! Let's beat their asses!"

"No problem…" Sonic and Shadow easily started to catch up to the kids using their super speed. That is, until the twins took off into the air and soared high over the buildings. Sonic watched in disbelief. "That's no fair."

Shadow growled. "Everybody can fly nowadays."

So, Sonic and Shadow (with Knuckles struggling to keep up) managed to follow the twins until they came to a small little neighborhood clear on the other side of the city. This was a typical residential area, with nice houses on either side of the street with beautifully cut lawns. Tall, green trees swayed gently in the breeze. Small children played merrily up and down the streets. A real "Brady Bunch" neighborhood.

Shadow spotted the kids land in front of house and dash to the door. "There they are!"

At the house, one of the boys fumbled with the house keys. His twin worriedly glanced down the street. "Hurry _up_! God, you're slow!"

"I-I can't find the key!"

"Hurry! They're almost…here."

Sonic, Shadow, and a huffing Knuckles posted behind them on the doorstep. Sonic cracked his knuckles. "_Very_ big mistake running from us, boys."

One of the boys dropped the load of food that he was holding and pointed at Sonic. "No, _you_ have made the mistake, Sonic the Hedgehog!" He turned to his partner. "Let's do it."

Suddenly, their tanned skin seemed to melt right off of their bodies. The shed skin dropped to the ground in moist heaps with a sickening _SPLAT_! Their legs seemed to combine together as one to form a wavy, ghost-like tail.

"What the hell?" Sonic jumped back and pulled out his gun.

Knuckles did likewise. "What the fuck _are_ these things?"

Shadow watched on as the boys' hair slowly changed color from blonde to pure white. Shadow's eyes widened. "It's them! They're still alive!"

The last of the skin slid off the bodies to reveal a purple, ghostly-like figure. Lastly, their eyes changed to a demonic red color. They did some funky poses.

"No. 27!"

"No. 43!"

Shadow stared in disbelief. "The Shadow Children."

No. 27 stepped forward. "So which one of you fuckers wants to take a ride on the Pain Train?"

Before anybody could do anything, the door to the house opened.

Shadow just shook his head.

Sonic sunk to his knees.

The Shadow Queen leaned against the doorway, smiling evilly at them. "_Surprise_, fuckers! I'm back!"

There were things that were noticeably different about the Shadow Queen. Firstly, she no longer had her ghostly tail that she used to fly, but now had human-esque shapely legs. In fact, her whole upper body took the form of a female, but her skin was still the ghastly purple that made her look intimidating. To cover this up, she wore a silk robe. And secondly, she was noticeably smaller than before. She was no taller than Eggman.

Shadow growled. "Shadow Queen! I thought we killed you at the tournament!"

Sonic groaned. "I should've known Metal half-assed her destruction…"

The Shadow Queen cackled her demonic laugh. "_Yes_, fools! When that metal hedgehog blew me into space, I nearly met my end. But luckily, parts of my body survived the blast. It was only a matter of time before my Shadow Children here found me and restored my body. As you can plainly see by this human type form, I am not at full power. But as soon as I am at maximum strength," the queen pointed both her long fingers at the Sonic Team. "Your ass is _grass_! _Bwahahaha_! _I can't wait_!"

Sonic wanted to cry. "Oh my God…now I have to deal with Amy, Chris, Eggman, _and_ the Shadow Queen!"

The Shadow Queen kept laughing. "Ah, _yes!_ This will be good, indeed! I haven't bitch-slapped someone since Chapter Fifteen!"

Amidst her satanic laughter, the shoulder of the Shadow Queen's robe slid completely down, revealing a most unwanted sight to the Sonic Team, and even the Shadow Children. She quickly covered herself.

Knuckles gagged. "_Damn_, that's nasty!"

Shadow cringed. "I think I've just become impudent."

Sonic sunk even lower to the ground. "...That image will never leave my mind. When I sleep at night, I will cry."

"_Please _tighten your robe next time, Mommy!" No. 43 pleaded.

"Please don't let that happen again," Sonic said.

No. 27, traumatized, made his way into the house. "I think I need something to drink to wash the dryness out of my mouth." No. 43 followed him.

The Shadow Queen called after him. "Bring Mommy her bottle of tequila while you're in there!"

"You drank it all yesterday!"

"What about the _Courvoisier_?"

"There's still some left!"

The Shadow Queen nodded. "Bring me that and a shot glass!"

Sonic had enough of this. "All right, Shadow Queen! What are you planning? You know you're just going to get your ass kicked anyway!"

The queen became angry. "Imbecile! Did I not just _tell_ you that I was going to fuck you up when I reach full power?" Her robe suddenly slipped down again.

Knuckles grasped his stomach. "I think I'm going to blow…"

Sonic cocked his gun. "Look, I've warned you about that before. If that robe slips one more time, we're gonna open fire on your ass."

The Shadow Queen put her hands to her face in mock-terror. "Ooooh, I'm so scared! _Hah!_ Those pea-shooters can't do shit against me!"

Sonic suddenly started firing his gun at the Shadow Queen, startling Shadow and Knuckles. The Shadow Queen stood stock-still as the bullets passed right through her and struck one of the inside walls of the house. She glared at Sonic when he finished firing. "Way to ruin my wall, asshole." She looked down. "And my robe."

"Fine!" Sonic backed off of the porch, along with Shadow and Knuckles. "We'll leave for now, but we'll be watching you!"

The demon stuck up a middle finger. "Keep an eye on _this_, fucker-face! I may be out of commission for now, but soon I'll reach full power. And then, _revenge_!" No. 27 appeared behind her and handed her the glass and the alcohol. The Shadow Queen took them gratefully. "But for now, _booze_!"

Sonic turned and headed for the car. "Let's go, guys."

"Why can't we just destroy her now?" Shadow protested.

"We need to leave her alive for the sake of this story's plot," Sonic said plainly.

"What story? What plot?"

"_This_ story."

Shadow and Knuckles shot him confused looks. "_What_?"

"Just…never mind."

ooo

The rest of the day found itself uneventful…until it came to that night. It was slightly past midnight. The moon was high in the sky. Crickets were chirping loudly and everyone was fast asleep. Almost everyone…

Knuckles grinned. "Are we all ready, gentlemen?" He was wearing a completely black burglar-type outfit along with the black beanie on his head.

Sonic, Shadow, and Vector were crouched with him behind a row of bushes. They were wearing the same outfit as Knuckles. Vector smiled. "I gotta hand it to you, Knux. This panty raid is _genius_! You think we'll meet any hot girls?"

Knuckles shrugged. "Maybe."

Vector clasped his hands together eagerly. "I hope so. I wanna go tag me some ass! Like _gangbusters_!"

Knuckles noticed Sonic and Shadow. "…Why aren't you guys wearing the caps?"

Shadow sighed. "Look, echidna. If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times. I am _not_ messing up these quills!"

"That's right," Sonic agreed.

"You guys and you're quills! _God_!" He crawled through the low cut grass and slowly opened a window of the nearest house. He motioned silently to the others to follow.

Once they were all inside, Vector and Knuckles wasted no time silently and carefully checking the drawers of the room. Sonic looked around the room. "Knuckles…"

Knuckles opened a drawer, then licked his lips. "Fuckin' jackpot."

Vector and Shadow quickly scooted over to Knuckles' position. "What kind are they?" Vector asked excitedly.

Knuckles pulled out a white pair of panties. "Cotton."

Sonic, who was still over by the window, whispered again: "Knuckles…"

Shadow was mildly disappointed. "Crap. I was hoping they'd be silk or satin or something."

Knuckles pointed to a picture of a cartoon-ish white kitten on the underwear. "Looks like this girl has a _Hello Kitty _fetish!"

"_Knuckles!_" Sonic whispered harshly from across the room.

Knuckles turned around, agitated. "_What_? Stop being a bitch and come over here!"

Sonic pointed to the person sleeping in the bed. She started to stir.

"Oh, shit…" Knuckles motioned wildly for everybody to keep still and quiet. It wasn't going to help.

Cream clicked on her lamp and rubbed her eyes. She was startled to find Knuckles, Shadow, and Vector sitting on the floor looking like frightened deer caught in headlights. "…Mr. Knuckles? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

Knuckles thought quickly. "Um, uh…Eggman was nearby, so we thought we'd just check on you. _Isn't that right, Sonic_?"

Cream switched her gaze to Sonic, who was halfway out the window. Sonic froze, wide-eyed. "Um, yeah! That Eggman never stops!"

Cream bowed her head politely. "Oh, thank you all! I hope you catch that mean doctor!"

"Oh, we will…," Sonic assured her as the others joined him at the window.

"Wait…" Knuckles stopped and turned to Cream. "Your mother's room is down the hall, right?"

Sonic immediately grabbed Knuckles. "_No_! They're our _friends_!"

"Sonic, seriously. Have you _seen_ Vanilla?"

Sonic donned a thoughtful expression, then grinned. "Well, yeah I _have_, but they're still our friends! So, _no_!"

Cream waved good-bye to them as they slowly climbed out of the window. As soon as the light in the room flicked off, Shadow shot Knuckles a look of disgust. "You sick, sick, _pedophile_!" He pointed to the window. "Of all people!"

"Hey! How was I supposed to know that was Cream's house? I chose it at random!"

"All right," Vector intervened. "I choose the next house."

ooo

Vector slid up to the back window of the house. They had snuck in the backyard this time around to avoid any prying eyes. Sonic was surprised that his friends were so blinded by their perverted nature, that they didn't even realize the _huge _mistake they were about to make. For this reason, Sonic had to back out. "Man, I'll wait for you guys out here."

"What's the matter, Sonic?" Knuckles taunted. "You want to pussy out already?"

"Leave that faker!" Shadow said, opening the window. "It's time for the _Ultimate Life Form _to get some silky goodness!"

As soon as they were in, Sonic raced around the front of the house and across the street, out of view. He wanted to catch every minute of the spectacle that was about to occur.

Vector blinked, then blinked again. "Fuck! I can't see anything!"

Knuckles cursed. "We should have brought a flashlight."

What they didn't know, is that their presence in the house could be sensed. The lights of the room suddenly clicked on and the Shadow Queen glared at them. "_What in the shit_?"

Vector scooted back to the far wall. "Oh, man! She ain't dead?"

The Shadow Queen grabbed her gold crown and placed it firmly on her head. "I am going to beat _so_ much ass right now…"

Knuckles stood up cockily. "Hah! What can you do to us? You have no power!"

"Oh! I have power, all right." The demon reached behind her dresser, pulled out a large object, and cocked it. "And guess where it is? _In my gun_."

Vector scrambled out the window. "I'll see you guys later!"

Shadow pulled out his Chaos Emerald. "I'm gone." He disappeared, leaving Knuckles alone. A bullet struck the floor at his feet. He dove out of the window, screaming like a woman. But it wasn't over. The Shadow Queen ran over to the window and jumped out with one hand.

Knuckles ran as fast as he could. "_Holy damn_!"

Sonic watched to see Vector and Knuckles burst out the backyard with the shotgun toting Shadow Queen at their heels.

Sonic shook his head. "Dumb-asses."

* * *

**The Shadow Queen is back! What will happen to our heroes when she reaches full power? Will there ever be a successful panty raid? Find out next time!**


	22. The Prelude

**Before we begin the actual story, I'm going to dedicate the first section to a bit I'd like to call: _Shadow Gets a Game._**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other related characters in this story. They belong to Sega.

* * *

**

Shadow was feeling good. Real good.

He was currently on the very top floor of Sega Headquarters. He sat at the end of a long table in the spacey room. The others seats were filled with people he really didn't recognize, except for the one seat at the other end of the table. In this seat sat Yuji Naka, the person solely responsible for the creation of the Sonic Team and their games.

Yuji leaned forward on the table. "…So we've decided to give you your own video game, Shadow. What do you think?"

Shadow was ecstatic. "What do I think? I fuckin' love it!"

Yuji smiled. "I thought you would. We need to create a game that will cover some of the plot-holes of _Sonic Heroes_."

"You mean like how we had to collect all seven Chaos Emeralds even though I had the green one whenever we did our Team Blast?"

Yuji nodded. "Yes."

"Or why Knuckles joined up with Sonic and Tails just for the hell of it instead of guarding the Master Emerald?"

"Yes."

"Or why Sonic talked to me in a casual tone as if I never died?"

"Yeah, but…damn!" Yuji turned to the others at the table. "When I tell you guys to make a game, do it right!"

The others, who were the developers and crew, all nodded nervously.

"So, what's this game going to be about?" Shadow asked.

"Well, I don't want to give away too many details, but…" Yuji grinned. "The story will delve deeper into your past; to find out who you really are. You'll also be fighting against a new alien race; along with G.U.N. and Dr. Eggman."

Shadow clasped his hands together. "Nice." Then he pointed a finger across the table at Yuji. "Because you know, you guys pissed a lot people off in _Sonic Heroes_ with that clone shit. People didn't even know if I was real or not!"

Once again, Yuji glared at the developers and other crew. Some of them shrugged. He turned back to Shadow. "You'll also be getting a new weapon."

"Ooh, what is it?" Shadow asked excitedly. "Plasma cannon? Photon disruptor?"

"A handgun."

Shadow jaw hung open in disbelief. "A _handgun?_ What the hell will I be able to do with that?"

"Who knows?" Yuji said mysteriously. "It might have special powers."

"It damn well better!" Shadow calmed down, then bolted upright in his seat. He was serious. "Is Sonic going to be in this game?"

Yuji shrugged. "He might make a cameo. Heck, we might have you fight him again."

Shadow rose from his chair and put both hands on the table. His next question was very, _very_ important. "Will I be able to _shoot_ him with the gun?"

"Heavens, no!"

Shadow slammed his fist on the table. "Goddamn it! You people never let me have any fun! Just let me shoot his ass!"

"I'm sorry, Shadow, but no." Yuji's voice was firm. "We might be going for a darker tone in this game, but we won't go _that_ far."

Shadow stood for a moment more, then slowly sat back down. "Fine. What else can you tell me?"

"Sorry. Gotta keep the rest a secret."

"Okay then." Shadow stood once more and shot menacing looks at the rest of the crew. "This game better kick major ass. Don't let me find out that the game is crappy. Because if I do, I will come back and Chaos Control me some serious ass up in here. Understood?"

Yuji remained calm while the others were becoming more frightened by the second.

Shadow pulled out his Chaos Emerald. "Oh, and sorry about your doors." Then he vanished in a flash of green light.

Yuji glanced at the big double-doors that served as entrance to the room. He chuckled. "Heh. Joke's on him. There's nothing wrong with the doors."

That's when both of the door were broken down and Sonic barged in, looking ready to massacre somebody. His green eyes locked dead with Yuji's. "_What...in...the...FUCK_?"

Yuji put his hands up in a defensive manner. "Now, now Sonic. Please calm down."

Sonic picked up Shadow's vacant chair. "Calm down, you say? When I read the memo you sent me, I said to myself: "damn, that Naka must not be thinkin' too clearly, because he knows _I'm going_ _to go buck wild on his ass! __You gave Shadow his own game_?"

"Sonic, please put the chair down."

Sonic wasn't listening. "No, _you _calm down! _Please_ tell me that you're a drug addict and this is all just a side effect from the dope!"

Yuji sighed and pressed a button under the table. Exactly five seconds later, Amy came running through the entrance. "_Sonikku!_"

Sonic's eyes widened as he spun around. "Oh, no you don't! Not this time!" He twisted his body and prepared to swing the chair at Amy with all his might but, due to Hell Day's interference, the chair spontaneously combusted into flames, then exploded in Sonic's hands.

Amy grabbed his arm and pulled him close. "Let's go to my place."

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Sonic screamed as Amy dragged him off. "This isn't over, Naka! _This isn't_ _over_!"

Yuji leaned back in his chair and smiled. "So! Anybody up for coffee?"

_Back to the story..._

A lone figure made its way slowly down the stairs leading to a single, solitary room. It was a female. She was purple and ghost-like in appearance, making her look almost like that of the Shadow Children. The only difference was that she wore a large, horizontal striped, red and white hat. The brim of the hat went all the way around her head and was pulled low in the back. The upper part of the hat stood straight up, but drooped back a little at the tip. A long, thick lock of pink hair came from under the front of the hat, obscuring her eyes completely. She also wore the all-around white gloves that were a favorite.

The young ghost had cleanly and stealthily infiltrated Eggman's base. She was pretty sure that the room held what she needed to accomplish her mission.

When she finally made it to the bottom of the stairs, she spotted the room dead ahead of her. She was about to continue on until she heard metallic sounding footsteps coming from a nearby corridor.

"Oh no…!"

She quickly sunk into the floor and disappeared from sight as Metal Sonic walked in. His red optics scanned the area. "Show yourself!"

Nothing happened. Everything was still.

"I need to get my sensors checked," Metal mumbled to himself. "Must be Eggman's piece of shit robots. Always malfunctioning and shit. Speaking of which…"

The robot walked over to a another deactivated robot and popped open a compartment on its side. Metal sat on the ground as precious oil leaked into his mouth. After a minute, Metal got back up, wiping his mouth. "Ahhh, that's fuckin' _heaven_!"

The young ghost slowly rose from the ground, shaking her head in distaste as Metal walked off. "All that foul language. And for a robot, too…" She quietly opened the door and surveyed the damaged room. It looked as if a war had happened within its walls. She lowered her gaze to the floor and saw what she needed to see.

She held her hands out as a book suddenly appeared in her grasp. She opened it a flipped through the pages for a while then stopped. "Ah, here we go! Resurrection spells! These will do nicely…"

ooo

Once again, the local liquor store was being robbed. Why was it being robbed? Who knew. But, to the question of _who_ was robbing it. Well…

Shadow child No. 27 frantically stashed random items into a giant, brown paper bag. No. 43 had taken position on top of the cashier's counter and was a holding a gun (a plastic one) to the poor man's head.

"P-Please don't kill me!" the cashier pleaded. The gun was apparently good enough to look like a real gun.

"27!" No. 43 yelled. "_Hurry the hell up!_"

"Which laundry detergent does Mommy like?"

No. 43 slapped his head. "Tide! Get _Tide_!… And Pop-Tarts!"

No. 27 got the last of their items and dashed for the exit. "I got the stuff! _Let's go_!"

The Shadow Children burst out of the store only to see Knuckles pull up in his squad car. No. 27 started freaking out. "Oh man! It's that echidna! _Cheese it_!"

Knuckles pulled out his baton, grinning evilly. "I don't care how old they are. I'm clubbin' some ass _today_!"

The Shadow Children ran as fast as they could. Yes, they had to run now. They too were now feeling the effects of the Shadow Queen's weakened state.

No. 43 glanced worriedly behind him to see Knuckles actually catching up. "Fuck! Faster, _faster_!"

No. 27 was checking the bag and running at the same time. "_Oh, man! I forgot the eye-drops!Mommy won't like this_!"

After a while, Knuckles finally caught up with them and lightly tackled them to the ground. "Yeah! That'll teach you to run from Da Knux Man!"

After being tossed in the back of the police car, No. 43 rattled the metal grating that separated the front and back seats. "You bastard! Where are you taking us?"

Knuckles started the engine. "Where all bad little boys go…"

ooo

After receiving a radio call from Knuckles, Sonic arrived at the Shadow Queen's house in a matter of minutes. He stepped out of his car, strolled up to the door, and rang the doorbell. The Queen of Shadows answered a moment later. "Oh, it's you. The fuck do you want?"

Sonic pulled out a pair of handcuffs. "Knuckles told me about your kids. They were stealing for you. You're under arrest."

"Hold on a second." The Shadow Queen disappeared into a side room for a moment, then came back with a .45 Magnum in her hand. "I'm under _what_, now?"

Sonic drew his gun with his free hand. "You heard me. Now come on."

"Fuck you. I don't control those damn kids. They're delinquents."

Sonic wasn't fooled. "I think you do. Knuckles told me that they were reduced to running instead of flying. Their power has weakened just like yours. Plus, they were fully clothed, just like you."

The Shadow Queen was, in fact, wearing tight hip-hugging pants and a white T-shirt. "So?"

"So, that means your ass is comin' with me."

The queen scoffed. "What are you gonna do? You can't hurt me with that gun."

Sonic dropped his gun and snatched her gun away with super speed. "Yoink."

The Shadow Queen took a step back. "No! You can't do this!"

Again using his speed, Sonic quickly spun her around and slapped the cuffs on her wrists. "Let's go."

The Shadow Queen tossed her head back and let out a demonic cry: "_Noooooooooo_-ah, fuck it." She gave in as Sonic led her to the car.

ooo

The camera tailed behind Shadow as he walked along a sidewalk. He stopped and turned to the camera. "Greetings. I've gotten reports that somebody has been going around giving people false or random information when they ask for help. But never fear! The _Ultimate Life Form _is on duty!"

The camera flicked off for a second, then flashed back on. Shadow was now entering into a hospital bedroom, where a severely injured man rested on the bed. Shadow nodded to him. "Officer Shadow T. Hedgehog, sir. I understand that you were one of the victims of the false info."

The man slowly and painfully turned his head to Shadow. His voice was weak. "Yes…I was told that if I ate a chao fruit, that I would be able to fly."

Shadow had taken out a notepad and pen. "I see. Go on."

"So, I jumped off the top of a building and tried to fly, but I couldn't!"

Shadow was writing furiously on the pad. He was shocked. "_You couldn't fly?_"

The camera zoomed in dramatically on the guy's face. "I couldn't fly…_at all_! I was the victim of a _lie_!"

Shadow clenched his fist. "There are some sick, sick people in this world! Tell me, do you remember what he looked like?"

"He…he was small! A-And blue!"

That was all Shadow needed to hear. The camera zoomed in on Shadow's face. "Don't you worry, sir! The _Ultimate Life Form _will bring the justice!"

The camera cut off, then reactivated. This time, Shadow had just pulled into the parking lot of a local park. He saw many people and children running in different directions and talking rapidly:

"Wow! I'm going to order some pizza with ice cream on it right now so I can get X-ray vision!"

"Daddy, how do I turn a banana into a flame-thrower?"

"Not now, honey! I have to go to Wendy's and order some chili! If I find a finger in it, we could be millionaires!"

Shadow ran to the center of the park to find the person who was causing the trouble.

He stopped.

The camera focused on Shadow, then turned to none other than the little blue chao-bot: Omochao, whose face was digitally blurred out by the camera.

Omochao activated and flew around Shadow's head. "Hi! I'm Omochao! And I'm here to help you! Do you enjoy monkey knife fights?"

"Pester me with your useless information, will you?" Shadow slapped Omochao to the ground. "Take that!"

Little tiny explosions coarsed through Omochao's body. "Ow! Why did you do that? You're not my friend anymore!" It lay still for a moment, then reactivated. "Hi! I'm Omochao! And I'm here to help you! Did you know that you can reach Mexico in fifteen minutes? Just use the Light Dash!"

"Damn you!" Shadow stomped repeatedly on Omochao's body, causing it to explode again.

"Owww! Please don't do that! That really fucking hurts!" The tiny robot lay still for a minute, then activated again. "Hi! I'm Omochao! And I'm here to he-"

This time, Shadow opened fire, putting dozens of bullet holes in the poor robot.

"Owahhh! Why did you shoot me for, you cock-sucker? I only want to be loved!" Once again, Omochao lay still for a few seconds, then jumped back up. "Hi! I'm Omochao! And I'm here to-"

Shadow punted Omochao into the air, assaulted it with a flurry of punches and kicks, then violently drove the little helper into the ground with a Chaos Spear. The sheer force of the spear made a decent sized crater in the ground. Shadow ran to the edge of the crater and waited.

Nothing.

Shadow stared.

Nothing.

Shadow stared some more.

Nothing.

Shadow kept staring. And staring….and staring.

Nothing.

"Finally…" Shadow turned to leave.

Then, a faint whirring sound was heard as Omochao flew out of the crater, unscathed. "You fucking bastard! Suck my-"

Shadow lost it. "_Arrgh_! _Why won't you die_?" He rushed forward and grabbed Omochao by its head. "_Chaos Control_!"

Omochao let out a scream as he hurtled at blinding speeds toward the sun's surface.

Back on Earth, Shadow dusted his hands off. "And that takes care of that!" He made his way back to the car as he talked to the camera. "Do you know how many lives I lost because of that little bastard? Talking about 'use B to jump'! It was A all along!"

ooo

A large group of teenagers sat in a room, guarded by a few security guards. Some of the teens were muscular and scary looking. They were all decked out in the usual baggy pants, suggestive shirts and jerseys, and baseball caps. Among these teens sat the Shadow Children, looking cool and calm. They were about to be part of a "scared straight" program which most juvenile centers employed.

The question was: who was going to "scare them straight"?

Being that these teens fell into the "ghetto" category, the chief of the center felt only one person was right for this job.

Knuckles barged through the door. "_All right, bitches!_ _Let's get this party started!_"

The teens shot smug looks at each other, then watched Knuckles. He twirled his baton as he slowly walked up the line of kids. "Yeah, you motherfuckers think you're hot shit in a wine glass, but you're really just cold diarrhea in a Dixie cup!"

One boy let out a few sniggers. Knuckles was instantly in his face. "Oh, you think this is funny? Is this funny to you? We'll see how funny you find it when you drop the soap in the prison showers, then all the sudden you're gettin' felt up by some big dude named Bluto!"

No. 27 snickered and whispered to his partner. "Dude, this so totally gay."

Knuckles turned and ran full speed up to No. 27. "You think this is_ gay,_ do ya? You don't know the meaning of gay! Let me point you over here to Mr. Biggums!"

Knuckles pointed across the room to Mr. Biggums, who was, in fact, Big the Cat. Big puckered his lips at No. 27, who cowered back.

Knuckles smirked at No. 27's fear and nodded. "Yeeaahhh, you don't like that, do you? I bet he just can't _wait_ to snap a piece of his 'fishing pole' off in your ass!"

A security guard came in. "Officer Knuckles! You have a radio call!"

"Damn!" Knuckles muttered, then turned to Big. "Big, you take over!"

Big slowly and menacingly rose from his seat and sauntered over to the kids. With his beady yellow eyes, he looked…scary. He pointed to the ground. "Take your pants off and put'em here."

Nobody moved.

"_I said get those motherfucking pants off and put'em here_!" he roared.

He smiled creepily as dozens of pants were tossed at his feet.

ooo

As usual, the rest of the afternoon proved to be uneventful for the three officers.

…Until that night.

Sonic, Shadow, and Tails lounged on the sofa, watching T.V. Tails flipped through the channels until something caught Sonic's eye. "Wait! Keep it here for a moment."

A news report was underway as the T.V. report spoke hurriedly. "A huge riot has broken out in the parking lot of Shady Palms apartment complex."

Sonic's eyes went wide.

"The cause of the fight remains unknown, but the police will be there shortly to get everything under control."

"Screw that," Shadow said. "We're off duty."

Tails studied the television screen. "Hey, Sonic. Isn't Shady Palms were Amy lives?…Sonic?"

Sonic was gone.

ooo

Sonic smashed down on the accelerator as his police car sped down the street. The camera focused on him. He was decked out in full S.W.A.T. gear from head to toe. He had an insane gleam in his eye. "This is the moment I have been _waiting_ for! That riot will be the perfect cover for me to throw Amy's ass in jail!"

He floored it down the street. "_I will not miss this opportunity_!"

Two minutes later, Sonic arrived at the Shady Palms apartment and dashed out of his car. There was a drove of people fighting each other off to his side, but he didn't pay any attention to it.

Upon reaching Amy's door, Sonic pulled out his gun, his heart was pumping a mile a minute.

"This is it."

Sonic kicked open the door and was instantly assaulted by…pink. Amy's _whole_ place was…pink. The walls, the floors, the ceiling. All pink. Sonic's eye's burned from the satanic color, but he gritted his teeth and pressed on. "Come on, Sonic. You can do this…"

He was surprised to find Amy standing right in the center of the room. She nearly blended in with the color. Amy silently turned around to face him. Sonic pointed his gun at her as she slowly walked toward him. His gun was trembling. "Stay back! Stay back, damn you!"

"Sonic!" Amy yelled as she drew closer.

Sonic backed up and accidentally knocked over a sugar jar on the kitchen counter. This gave him an idea. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What do we have here?" Sonic said, grabbing a handful of sugar and pretending to study it. "Are these…_drugs_? Are you smuggling _drugs_?"

Amy gave him a blank stare.

Sonic let the sugar drain from his fist back on to the counter. "In case you didn't know, these kinds of drugs are illegal in America."

Amy gave him another blank stare.

Sonic couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. He had this in the bag. "Confess! What are you smuggling? Meth? Coke? Dope? X? Smack? Horse? Speed?"

Amy suddenly ran toward him; her arms outstretched.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sonic whipped out the handcuffs and slapped on Amy's wrists. Then, Sonic said the four words he'd been wanting to say to Amy for a long time: "You're going to prison!"

Surprisingly, Amy didn't try to resist. She probably thought it was some kinky sex game Sonic was trying to play. Sonic gleefully led Amy back to his police car, where he met up with some other officers that had just arrived to subdue the trouble.

"Hey! Are you all right?" One of the officers asked.

"Yeah!" Sonic said, trying his best to sound serious. "I just caught this girl smuggling drugs! It's all in her apartment!"

The officer raised an eyebrow. "_Well!_ Drugs, eh?" He took Amy and nodded to Sonic. "We'll take her to prison. She'll be away for a loooong time!"

Sonic waved after Amy as the officers took her away. "Night, night! Keep your butt-hole tight!"

Amy looked back at him with her brown eyes and smiled.

Sonic frowned. "Wait a minute. I thought Amy had green eyes…" Something wasn't right.

With a great burst of strength, Amy broke free of the officers' hold and broke the handcuffs as well. She pulled out her hammer and charged over to where the riot had still been going strong. Amy bashed her hammer against random people, sending them to the ground. She made her way to the very center of the battle to reveal…another Amy.

Sonic grasped his heart. He fell to his knees. "No…this can't be. I had her… the plan was perfect…" Right then and there, Sonic curled up into a little ball and started crying. He had truly been broken. He didn't even notice the duo of Amys running amok all down the street.

Needless to say, Sonic would remain in that position for a _very_ long time…

ooo

The young ghost, with her striped hat, floated across a building's rooftop to a man who was watching the carnage below. She came up behind him. "It took me awhile, but I managed to resurrect the Amy clones."

The man turned around. "Nice work, Vivian. Those clones will tear this city to shreds."

"What about Sonic?"

Mario turned back toward the fight. "This time, Sonic's ass is mine."

* * *

**Mario's back and looking for revenge! Sonic and the others may have their work cut out for them this time. Will they be able to save the city and defeat the Amy clones _and_ deal with Mario? And what about the Shadow Queen and Eggman?**

**Find out next time!**


	23. The Clones

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any other characters in this fic. They belong to Sega. Any original characters belong to their respective authors/authoresses (hint, hint).

* * *

**

Frantic cries, screams, and shouts rose from the streets of Station Square as it became smothered in pink. Droves of Amy clones ran amok through the city, attacking random people and laying waste to the buildings. If they weren't stopped, the city would eventually be reduced to ruins.

Mario and his shadowy ghost-like partner, Vivian, still watched from the rooftop of a tall building.

"Do you think we should meet up with the others?" Vivian asked.

Mario gazed down at the city for a second longer, then nodded. "Yeah, they should have found and collected the rest of the Chaos Emeralds by now."

"What about the red emerald? Sonic and the rest of his team still have that one and the green one, also."

"Don't worry about the red one," Mario assured her. "I'm pretty sure that they will be here shortly to fight the Amy clones, so I've sent Ms. Mowz to their house to steal the emerald and bring it to us."

"You think she'll be able to do it?"

Mario half smiled. "Mowz is a master pick-pocket. She'll be able to get the job done. As for the green emerald, we'll just have to take it from that dark hedgehog personally…"

ooo

The heavy metal door slammed behind them as the Shadow Children entered the prison's visitors' room. A large, five inch thick sheet of glass separated the visitors from the prisoners and chairs were positioned on either side. No. 27 hopped up onto the nearest chair and picked up the little telephone that was used to communicate. On the other side of the glass sat none other than the Shadow Queen herself. She was now forced to wear the typical bright orange collared jumpsuit with the words "COUNTY JAIL" spelled out in bold letters on the back. Her crown was also missing.

No. 27 smiled and waved politely. "Hey, Mommy!"

The Shadow Queen returned the wave. "Are you boys doing okay at home?" Her expression turned grim. "You're not getting into any _trouble_, are you?"

"Um, hold on a second!" No. 27 quickly huddled up with No. 43. "Oh, man! I think she knows! She knows that we've been ordering porn off the cable box!" He bit his lip nervously. "She'll send us to the Forbidden Zone!"

"Shut up!" No. 43 slapped his brother upside the head and grabbed the telephone. "Don't worry, Mommy. We're fine."

"That's good," the Shadow Queen said, then leaned closer to the glass and whispered into the receiver. "I'll be out of here in a few. Mother is not about to stay in this piss-hole a minute longer. I'll see you at home."

"Okay," No. 43 said. "Good luck."

ooo

It was now around 10:15 p.m. as Shadow and Tails sat at home waiting for Sonic to get back. They were currently playing that old-school game, Connect Four. Tails dropped his last red piece down one of the many slots and grinned. "Connect Four, Shadow! I win!"

Shadow growled and slapped the game off of the kitchen table. He pointed an accusing finger at the fox. "_This is bullshit_!"

Tails stifled his laughter. "Shadow, please calm down. It's just a simple game."

Shadow slammed his fist on the table. "I want a rematch, goddamn it!"

Tails grinned again and shrugged. "Okay. It's really not that hard to win…" He began to pick up the pieces of the game when something on the T.V. caught his eye. It was a news report. "Hey, check this out."

The reporter sat behind her desk and continued her story. "…City of Station Square has become overrun with these…pink…hedgehog type creatures. They are attempting and succeeding to destroy the city. People are advised to stay indoors at all times until the police forces can contain the situation. I can only wonder: where is the Sonic Team in all this? Surely they realize the danger that the city is in. I only hope that they will appear soon…"

Tails clicked the T.V. off. "Did you hear that? The Amy clones are back! I thought Sonic killed them when we fought Eggman last time!"

Shadow snorted. "It's just like that damn faker. I should have known that he wouldn't have killed them. Now we have to save the city, yet _again_."

Tails headed for the door. "The others are probably already in the city. We need to hurry!"

"Fine, but when we get back," Shadow pointed back to the kitchen. "You. Me. Connect Four. _Rematch_!"

Tails sighed. "Fine, fine. Let's just _go_!"

ooo

The Amy clones were everywhere.

Rouge flew at low altitudes through the streets, ambushing and knocking out any lone clones that she happened to pass. She needed to find the others, and quickly. She finally landed on a corner and defended an old woman from some clones. Rouge ushered her down a safe path. "Get out of here! Quickly!"

"T-Thank you!" the woman said as she ran off.

Rouge pressed her back against the cool glass of a shop's window display as five Amy clones moved in on her, wielding cheap imitation Piko-Piko Hammers. All of the clones were not perfect, though, as their physical appearance varied slightly from Amy. One clone, in particular, looked almost nothing like Amy. She wore different colored dress, black to be precise. And to Rouge's fear, she brandished a gun.

The bat suddenly rushed forward and delivered lightning fast kicks to four of the clones, knocking them out easily. The last one with the black dress still remained unharmed. Rouge hopped back and thought for a moment.

Black dress.

Gun.

It dawned on her. Rouge groaned and shook her head. "Oh no. Not _you_ again…"

Sonia the Hedgehog cocked her big ass Desert Eagle pistol. She gave a little head nod. "Hey."

Rouge half smiled. "Hey yourself."

"You thought you were so smart to leave us at the Rose Coliseum, but you were wrong."

Rouge got into a fighting stance. "Enough chit-chat! Where the hell's your damn friend?"

Sonia brushed her black-tipped quills back with her free hand. "Oh, you mean Akira? Wouldn't _you_ like to know." She pointed behind Rouge to the glass display, which housed a few T.V.'s. All of them were tuned to the same news report:

"Oh-oh my God! It seems that the Southside apartment complex has come under attack by what seems to be a…crazed young echidna girl wearing a green bandana and wielding a rather large baseball bat! Wait…wait! Let's go to the video feed!"

The picture of the news reporter switched to an overhead helicopter's view of Southside. Sure enough, Akira the Echidna was somehow destroying the _whole_ complex with nothing but her baseball bat. The voice of another reporter struggled to be heard over the loud whirring of the copter's rotor blades: "Oh my _god_! This girl is _lethal_!"

The camera zoomed in to show Akira run her bat through the whole outer wall of the complex, causing the place to come down around her. Southside was no more. The copter reporter, overly enthusiastic, shouted again: "This is crazy! How could someone take out a _whole complex_ with a _baseball bat?_ She'll destroy us all! This is the goddamn Eclipse Cannon all over again!"

The reporter back at the news studio, which just so happened to be Dianne Oakwood, the Rose Tournament reporter, frantically spoke into her earpiece. "Dave, calm down! Now is not the time to-"

"No! _You're _not the time, Dianne! _You're_ not the time!"

"Please just tell us _what's going on_," Dianne said with a hint of annoyance.

The scene cut back to the sky view from the helicopter. Akira was now desperately running around the parking lot, searching for something. Dave shouted again: "The echidna girl seems to be panicking! She's trying to find a getaway vehicle! She…she…_oh my god_! She just stole that Toyota! I repeat: She has _just taken_ a Toyota pickup truck!"

Sonia slapped her forehead. "Damn it, Akira! Why couldn't you steal the Lexus?"

Rouge slowly turned away from the T.V. in shock. "You…You _ho_…"

Sonia snickered, pretending to be surprised. "Oh, I'm sorry! Was that where _you_ lived? Too bad. So sad."

"Why…why did you do that?" Rouge asked tonelessly.

Sonia geared up to tell a long-ass explanation. "Well, you see-" She suddenly opened fire with her gun. Rouge narrowly dodged the bullets and took off around the corner, with Sonia in hot pursuit, screaming: "Don't you run from me! _Don't you run from me!_"

ooo

Flying high in the sky, Tails (carrying Shadow) observed the swarm of Amy clones in the streets below.

"Damn!" Shadow cursed. "You know who I think is behind this?"

"I'm not really sure," Tails guessed. "But I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's Mario. Mainly because Eggman's been too lazy to concoct another one of his evil schemes."

"Aw, damn it!" Shadow sulked. "How'd you know? You're such a nerd sometimes."

"You know, I can drop you anytime," Tails said matter-of-factly.

Shadow quickly apologized. "Sorry."

They flew a while more until all of the clones seemed to be heading in one direction, toward the center of the city. Tails noticed this. "Look, Shadow! Where do you suppose they're going?"

Shadow squinted in the distance to try and see where the clones were headed. "I'm not sure, but your nerd senses will surely lead the way."

"That's it!"

Tails released his hold on Shadow, only to have him use Chaos Control and grab back on to Tails' arms. Shadow grinned. "You can't get rid of me _that_ easily."

Tails groaned and flew towards the center of Station Square.

ooo

The window to Tails' house slowly slipped open, and a small figure crept in. She was a white mouse who wore giant flamingo edged red shades and a heart shaped tail. She considered herself to be a world renown thief and was also part of Mario's clique: Ms. Mowz.

She glanced around the room. The floor was a mess. Discarded chip bags, wrappers, paper plates, waffle boxes with the word "ULTIMATE" scribbled on them, and a couple porno magazines littered the floor. She shook her head in distaste and hopped off of the window sill.

Her task to search for the red Chaos Emerald proved to be a mockery of her thieving skills, as she quickly found the jewel carelessly wedged between a wall and the closet door. Mowz tsk-tsked. "People are so careless with their valuables…"

She exited out of the house the way she came and made her way to the front, where she met up with two more members of Mario's group. The first was a small creature called a goomba that hailed from the Nintendo universe. It's body was shaped like a mushroom, brown in color, and had feet, but no arms. It wore a nice and neat red tie around its neck and a gray colored archaeologist's hat on it's head, which covered a mass of long blonde hair that was tied into a pony tail, obviously indicating that it was of female gender. While many goombas were grotesque looking creatures, this one actually looked pretty.

The second figure standing, or much rather _floating_ next to her, was much bigger in comparison. Also female, she was a being composed completely of cloud-type matter, which was used to form a humanly body without the legs. Instead, like the Shadow Queen and Vivian, her legs were replaced with a ghostly tail, which appeared puffy because it was composed of clouds. Her face was spruced up with all kinds of make-up: eye-shadow, lipstick, blush. Her purplish-gray hair flared out to on either side of her head in soft spikes. And, to further be recognized as a female, two round mounds of clouds formed an impressive chest on her figure. "Did you find the emerald okay, dearie?" She asked as Ms. Mowz produced the emerald.

The small mouse giggled. "It was too easy! Even for me, Flurrie!"

The cloud being, known as Flurrie, put her pinky finger to the side of her mouth and let out a snooty laugh. "_Hohohoho_! Out dearest Mario will be quite pleased. And we have Goombella to thank for finding the way here, don't we?" She turned and winked down at the goomba.

Goombella blushed slightly. "It was nothing. It was rather simple to construct a map of this city." Truthfully, many people wondered how goombas could go about "hands-on" activities and such, being that they had no hands whatsoever.

Ms. Mowz nodded. "Right. Madame Flurrie? I believe that now is the time to enact the second phase of our plan."

"Ah, yes…," Flurrie remembered. "Please stand back."

Goombella and Ms. Mowz complied and positioned themselves a few feet behind the cloud woman. Flurrie inhaled deeply, causing her body to swell up with an incredible amount of air. She then exhaled an intensely strong gust of wind at Tails' house. Loud creaking sounds could be heard as the structure struggled to endure.

Ms. Mowz snickered evilly as she watched Tails' house finally collapse to the ground completely from Flurrie's attack. Now they would soon meet up Mario and the others…

ooo

Sonia, having lost sight of Rouge, was just about to give up when she heard what sounded like a ragged car engine in the distance. That's when a faded pickup truck tore around the corner, inadvertently side-swiping a few Amy clones, and skidded to a stop next to her. The window rolled down and Akira popped her head out. She glanced back at the Amy clones she hit, grinned evilly, and turned back to Sonia. "Hey."

Sonia got straight to the point. "Why did you take a pickup truck? There's like a million other cars you could of taken."

Akira rolled her eyes. "Oh, come _on_. I just took the nearest car. I destroyed her place, didn't I? Besides, you know I don't think straight when I'm in Kill Mode. But enough arguing! _We must_ _annihilate all things Rouge-related._"

Sonia climbed into the passenger's side and slammed the door. "Don't you mean…_destroy all_ _Rouge?_"

Akira slammed on the gas. "Right! What did I say?"

ooo

Meanwhile, Rouge had noticed the changed demeanor of the clones and was also flying toward the center of the city. Her face contorted into a frown when she saw somebody flying next to her. Of course, it was Knuckles. He licked his lips and glided closer to her. "Hey baby. Where _you_ goin' this time of night? Lookin' for a little action?"

Rouge tried to fly away from him. "Get the fuck away from me."

Knuckles pulled closer and put on his "suave" voice. "Come on, baby. Don't be like that. Look, if you're worried about gettin' pregnant," he grinned. "I'll just pull it out at the last second."

Rouge, blushing three shades of red, delivered an axe-handle to the back of Knuckles' head, sending him plummeting to the streets below. This proved to be mistake, because he landed in the back of a pickup truck. _Akira's_ pickup truck.

Rouge jerked her head down to see the truck chasing after her, with Akira hanging out of the window with her baseball bat in her hand. She was screaming: "_You done fucked up now, bitch_!"

Rouge snickered and flew faster.

Akira leaned back into the car. "Damn! She's getting away! Sonia, you have your guns?"

"_Do I_?" Sonia pulled out a shoulder-mounted missile launcher and fired a missile at Rouge's position. Since Rouge was in the air, she was easily able to dodge. Sonia cussed. "Goddamn it! I told the folks at the Gun Club to give me heat-seekers! Now I gotta beat their asses, too!"

ooo

The Amy clones marched silently toward a big intersection in the street. This was where Mario and his new team waited. Flurrie, Ms. Mowz, and Goombella had somehow managed to make it there before the Sonic Team did. Once there, Ms. Mowz handed the red emerald to Mario and met with the rest of the team. The other three members were Koops, a walking and talking turtle-like creature, Bobbery, a elderly living bomb that could blow himself up at will, and a young yoshi, a small, green dinosaur-like creature with spiky red hair and a tough attitude to match.

"Look lively, people," Mario alerted as Tails and Shadow landed before them.

"Surprise, surprise. It's Mario," Tails said sarcastically.

"And he's got himself a new pussy patrol, too," Shadow sneered.

Mario crossed his arms and stepped forward. "Well, well. Shadow and Tails. It's been so long since we've seen each other last. I take it you defeated the Shadow Queen?"

"You bet your ass we did!" Shadow spat.

It wasn't long before Rouge touched down beside her partners, followed by Akira, Sonia, and Knuckles in the pickup truck. Akira stepped out of the vehicle and saw Mario and his team. "What in the hell?" she murmured.

Knuckles hopped of the back of the truck. "That cheap shot just proves you want me even more, Rouge!" He and the others joined in the standoff. Of course, Akira and Sonia took up positions on either side of Rouge.

Mario suddenly pointed a finger at them. "That's right!" he exclaimed. "I'm back! And we're going to school you up your ass this time!"

Shadow pulled out his emerald. "Not bloody likely. Even if we don't have our full team, we'll _still_ whoop your asses!"

Mario snorted. "Do you really think so? Look _around_ you! The Amy clones are on our side! How will you be able to fight us _and_ them?"

Shadow was silent. Mario was right. The clones were beginning to surround them from all sides.

"It was a good thing that Vivian here knows resurrection magic!" Mario gloated, patting Vivian on the shoulder. "She infiltrated that fool Dr. Eggman's base with ease!"

Shadow grimaced. He and Tails exchanged worried glances.

Knuckles bit his lip nervously. "Oooh! You guys better hope that Eggman didn't find out about this. You know how crazy he gets when people go into his base without permission!"

Mario raised an eyebrow. "And I'm supposed to be afraid because…?"

A faint sound of screeching tires were heard in the distance. They gradually grew closer.

"Too late…," Tails muttered.

Once again, as if it were an animé show on television, Eggman's _Sonic Adventure 2_ theme music started to play as an extreme close-up of his front tire was shown as it rounded the corner. Then, in super slow-motion, the scene switched to an outside view of the Egg Hummer as it somehow got itself on two wheels and plowed over dozens of helpless Amy clones. It skidded to a halt at the center of the circle as it settled down back on all fours.

A diagonal split-screen showed Eggman and Metal Sonic dramatically stepping out of their respective doors, with Metal holding his flask, and Eggman wielding a 12-gauge shotgun in one hand and a big-ass rusty pipe in the other.

Both Mario's team and the Sonic Team gaped at them.

Eggman's dark shades gleamed as he slowly looked from one team to another, stopping at Mario himself. Eggman tapped his chin in thought as he slowly paced about. "You know, I have done nothing wrong for what seems to be the last three or four weeks, yet many of you 'heroes' seem to find it amusing to break into my base and call me whenever you please. And when this happens, it gets me mad. And when I get mad," Eggman lost it. "_People start dyin'_!"

"Why the hell are you so pissed?" Mario asked sharply. "My team and I are doing you a _favor_ by destroying these bastards!"

"_Why_ am I pissed, you ask?" Eggman snarled. "**A:** you broke into my base _without _permission and used _my _creations for your own. **B:** the thought of how you worthless Nintendo bastards even broke _into_ my base makes me sick to my ass! And **C:** the Sonic Team is reserved for me and me _only_! _I_ will be the one to take them down!" Eggman cocked his 12-gauge. "If Sonic were here, he'd be pissed along with me! '_Bullshit_!', he'd say!"

Mario laughed. "Oh? And just where _is_ Sonic, pray tell?"

Tails furrowed his brow. "Hey, yeah! I forgot all about him!"

"It's not like that faker to miss out on this whole story," Shadow said. "It's not the author's style."

"It doesn't matter!" Mario said, striking a pose along with his team. "Now you will face the Paper Mario Posse!"

Vivian nudged his shoulder. "Are…are you really gonna call us that?"

Mario turned. "Well…yeah. I thought we all agreed on the team name. You don't like it?"

Vivian shrugged. "I just think we could come up with a better name, is all."

"Okay, okay." Mario spun around to their opponents. "You guys are goin' down! I'm Mario, bitches!"

Mario was loud enough that he could be heard great distances. Just distance enough for a certain someone to hear...

Back near Amy's apartment complex, Sonic still lay curled up into a little ball by his police car. He hadn't even moved an inch since he had found out about the one Amy being a clone. Upon hearing a certain shout from the distance. He slowly rose his head up. "Mario."

Back at the stand off, both teams began to circle each other, occasionally flipping each other off and making other threatening gestures.

"Oh, so _this_ is where the party's at!"

Both teams stopped and turned to find the Shadow Queen, still in her orange prison ensemble, grinning her demonic grin. Oddly enough, she had somehow gotten her crown back.

The young yoshi yelped. "I thought we destroyed her back at the Palace of Shadows!"

Mario whistled. "Goddamn, Shadow Queen! You're still alive? I heard you got man-handled by some robot."

"Hah!" Metal scoffed and sipped from his flask.

The Shadow Queen sneered. "Please! The Sonic Team is much more than you'll ever be!"

"Oh? Is that why I fucked you up…with a _hammer_?" Mario turned and high-fived his team members.

"Hey! That hammer had magical powers or something!" the Shadow Queen accused. "Anyway, I can't fight right now. I have to go home and take care of some bills. I'll see you fuckers later." She started to walk off, when a blue blur zoomed past her and stopped in the center of the circle.

Sonic was finally here.

"Yay!" Tails cheered. "What took you so long?"

Sonic didn't answer. He stood glancing sidelong at Mario.

"What were you doing all this time, jerking off?" Shadow joked.

Sonic's voice was almost inaudible. "Shut…up."

Shadow backed off. "Faker?"

Even Knuckles was starting to get worried. Sonic was _not_ playing.

Akira eagerly tapped her bat in the palm of her hand. "Sonia, you ready?"

Sonia was attaching a silencer to a gun. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. I was too busy fighting the urge to _kill_."

Without saying a word, Sonic got into a fighting stance. Mario chuckled and nodded to his teammates. They spread out to match each of the Sonic Team's members. Even further out, the Amy clones formed a semi-circle around the whole group, ready to kick some ass. The Shadow Queen sat outside the group on a bench with a bag of popcorn in her hand. "Ooh-hoo. What a fucking Kodak moment."

Eggman was the first to break the silence. "_Kill them! Kill them dead_!"

Sonic was the first to attack. He ran forward and power-tackled Mario, NFL style. Then _everybody_ proceeded to dog-pile on top of them, even the Amy clones. This resulted in being an all out melee with fists a-flyin', bats a-bustin', guns a-blazin', and Chaos Controllin'. From the Shadow Queen's perspective, this fight just looked like a goofy-ass fight that one would see in a cartoon, with a giant dust cloud in the middle, and the occasional arms and legs sticking out every once in a while. The only difference was that there was _excessive_ cussing going on within the cloud, most of it, surprisingly, coming from what sounded like Sonia, Akira, and Rouge. While the regular monosyllabic words could be heard, there were a few that the Shadow Queen noted, like: "cluster-fuck", "ass-juice", and "dick-splash". She knew those last three _had_ to have come from Sonic and/or Knuckles.

And the fight…continued on like this for some time. Even though nobody could really be seen, they didn't seem to be getting anywhere at all, despite the ridiculous amount of gunfire that was occurring. The only thing, was that the fight was slowly moving closer to the Shadow Queen. She didn't notice, until the unthinkable happened.

She got slapped.

A red handprint was left on her face as she hit the ground; her crown clattering to the concrete. She angrily got up and bellowed: "_Who's the dead man that just slapped me_?"

Everybody froze. Mario, Sonic, and their teams ceased fighting. The Amy clones stopped and lowered their hammers. Sonia and Rouge froze, with Rouge's ear in Sonia's hand, and Sonia's quills in Rouge's hands. Akira was comically hanging off of Eggman's back; her bat paused in mid-swing. Sonic and Mario had each other in a headlock. Despite being in his present condition, Mario scoffed casually. "Look, Shadow Queen. No one cares about who got slapped. We're kind of in the middle of something here, so if you'd be so polite as to not interrupt…"

Then they continued fighting.

"Why, you smug sons of…," the Shadow Queen started, then stopped when she heard a scream. She turned an Amy clone carrying a struggling Cream in its arms. It must have been commanded to take her as well, because she was part of the Sonic Team. A smile spread over the demon's face as she walked up to them and, in one swift motion, K.O.'ed the clone with a fist, freeing Cream.

Cream dusted herself off without looking up. "Thank you so much! I-"

The Shadow Queen grabbed her. "Gimme your body for a minute…"

Even though her powers were not yet up to scale, she could still take over a person's body if she needed, or wanted, to. Then, in a flash, Cream's body was under her control. The Shadow Queen's new demonic yellow eyes glared at the on-going fight in front of her. She smoothed out her dress and casually sauntered straight into the giant "dust cloud" of a fight. A split second later, everybody was thrown apart a an explosion of dark purple energy. Sonic wiped his mouth. "God! What _now_?"

He saw Cream standing in the center of the group with her hands on her hips. Sonic let out a trembling, _deeply_ frustrated sigh. He was in _no_ mood for the Shadow Queen's bullshit right now.

"I don't think you all heard me," the Shadow Queen said. "_Who slapped me_?"

Metal raised his hand. "I did. And I'll do it again, too."

The Shadow Queen glared at him for a second. Metal smiled mysteriously at her and sipped from his flask. The demon's eyes widened as she backed up. She remembered what Metal did to her after she broke his last flask. She laughed nervously. "Uhh…forget I asked. I'll come back later."

"_I thought I told you not to interrupt_!" Mario boomed. "Amy clones, get her!"

The Shadow Queen stood still and smoothed out her "dress" as every single clone in the vicinity lunged at her. She cackled. "Insolent fools! I'll send you all to the Forbidden Zone!" She punched Cream's gloved fist into the ground, creating a huge vortex that proceeded to suck every last clone into its depths.

As everybody else watched in bewilderment and shock, who should decide to show up but…

"Sonikku! I finally found you!"

Amy ran up and hugged Sonic from behind. Sonic growled and wasted no time to grab her and hurl her towards the portal to the Forbidden Zone.

But let's not forget Hell Day!

The portal closed after it consumed the last Amy clone, having the real Amy narrowly miss it by inches. Sonic punched the ground. "Fuck! Fuck! _Fuck_!"

The Shadow Queen stood up and turned to Sonic. "The hell's your problem?"

Sonic, in a fit of rage, marched right up the Shadow Queen and…punched her in the eye. The _same_ eye that he hit back at the Rose Coliseum. The demon screamed as her body flew from Cream's, letting the rabbit fall into Sonic's arms.

For the second time that day, the Shadow Queen fell to the ground, one hand over her eye. She pointed an accusing finger at Sonic. "You-you _hit_ me! In the _eye!_ _Again_! You son of a bitch!"

Shadow, who was watching with mild amusement along with the other, didn't even notice that Vivian had materialized from the ground behind him until she snatched the green emerald from his hand. Shadow tried to grab her. "Hey! I need that for stuff!"

Vivian appeared next to Mario and handed him the emerald. Mario smiled. "Now that we have all of the Chaos Emeralds, we'll be invincible!"

Sonic balled a fist. "_What_?"

The other members of Mario's team produced the emeralds. "We collected them in no time at all!" Goombella boasted. "Thanks to my knowledge of the territory!"

"Now that we have them all, Vivian, get us out of here," Mario commanded.

"Right."

Vivian whipped out a spell book and started chanting a foreign language. The "Paper Mario Posse" started to levitate off of the ground and rise into the air.

"You ain't goin' _nowhere_!" Sonic growled. He and the others rushed in for an attack, but Flurrie kept them at bay with her ferocious wind attack.

"So long, suckers!" Mario waved as he produced a smoke bomb from a pocket of his overalls and threw it to the ground. Gray smoke poured out from the object, shielding Mario and co. from sight.

Sonic frantically searched about. "Damn it! Everybody split up and find those fuckers!"

When the smoke cleared, the _real_ members of the Sonic Team were gone. Sonia and Akira were still standing there. Sonia sulked. "…They left us."

Akira shrugged. "Ah, well. That was a pretty good fight, though."

At a ruined shop some distance away from them, a girl with red overalls and a freckled face stepped out of the broken window of a Victoria's Secret. Francine held up many objects. "Hey, baby! Look! Crotch-less panties!"

Chris studied them. "Are they the edible kind?"

"Yep!"

"Strawberry?"

"No…"

"Get strawberry."

"Okay!" Francine ran back inside the abandoned shop.

Chris leaned against a wall and gazed down the street. That's when he noticed Sonia and Akira. "Oh my god! _Oh my god_!" He ran up to them. "I love you guys! Will you be my friend? Will you play with me? Can I have your phone number? Where's Tiffany?"

The girls looked at each other. Sonia cocked her gun. "_Rush him_!"

Chris was then chased down the street. Francine popped her head out the shop window. "Baby, I couldn't find strawberry. They only have black licorice left….baby?" Francine shrugged. "Oh, well. He'll be back for sex."

ooo

After failing to find Mario, the Sonic Team decided to call it quits for the night. Now they would have to come up with a plan to get the Chaos Emeralds back. Since Rouge's place was destroyed, Amy was nice enough to share her place. Knuckles offered to let Rouge stay with him, as only _he_ could, but Rouge politely declined…with a swift kick to the balls.

After returning Cream to safety (yet _again_), Sonic, Tails, and Shadow returned to the Mystic Ruins to find the house in shambles. Tails immediately burst into tears. "M-My house…it's all gone…"

Shadow was in hysterics. "The _porn_! I had porno magazines in there!" He madly sifted through the debris and tried to piece together the precious pictures. "_Is-is this an elbow or a nipple? I-I can't tell!_"

Sonic gritted his teeth and glared at the ground. "Damn you, Mario…"

ooo

The Shadow Queen, Eggman, and Metal were still standing at the scene were the fight had taken place. They were just about to leave, when an odd shaped flying contraption approached them. It looked like some sort of flying bowl. The front of it boasted a huge smiling happy face on the front, and the brim of the bowl was outlined in green. Last, but not least, there was a giant propeller at the bottom which kept it afloat.

Eggman was the only person who recognized what, and _who_, it was. "Late as usual…"

The contraption landed before the three and Eggman's arch rival/villain, Bowser, hopped out. "The King of Koopas is here! Now where's Mario?"

"They left," Eggman said flatly.

Bowser's expression turned to surprise. "Whaaaat? Damn that Mario! Always one step ahead of me!"

The Shadow Queen was checking Bowser's method of "transportation". "That's got to be the stupidest thing I've ever seen."

Bowser was insulted. "_What_? How dare you bash on my Koopa Klown Kar? Do you know who I am?"

"Yeah, I know who you are," the Shadow Queen shot back. "You're the motherfucker that fell through my ceiling and put that hole in my Palace of Shadows a while back."

Bowser took a menacing step forward. "No one talks to the K. King like that! I'll make you lick my toes, bitch!"

The Shadow Queen rolled up her sleeves and raised her fists. "Let's dance, punk."

Eggman came between them. "Now, now. Let's not fight. I've been thinking about how we always lose to our hero counterparts. Perhaps it's time that we try something new."

"What are you saying?" Bowser asked.

"I'm saying that we should join forces."

Bowser burst out laughing. "That's funny! You're funny! You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!"

The Shadow Queen scowled. "Why would we want to team up?"

"Just think about it," Eggman pitched. "We repeatedly lose again and again to those bastards. My intellect, combined with Bowser's brute strength, and your mastery of demon sorcery, will greatly increase out chances to deal some serious damage to our respective lands."

The Shadow Queen rubbed her chin. "…Okay. I'll give it a shot."

"Bowser?"

Bowser still wasn't buying it. "You're actually serious about this?"

"Of course! Why would I waste my time talking to you guys if I wasn't serious?"

Bowser gave in. "Fine. But we conquer _my_ land first!"

Eggman put his hand in the center of the circle. "Here's to our alliance!"

Bowser and the Shadow Queen put their hands on top of Eggman's. "_Yeah_!"

Metal stood behind them. "Oh, this is just _gay_." He walked off. "I'll be in the car."

* * *

**There's some mean shit about to go down! Sonic and co. planning revenge, Eggman teaming up with his fellow rivals, Mario's plan for the emeralds. What will happen? Find out next time!**


End file.
